The Single Dude’s Guide to Scottsdale, Arizona

Scottsdale pool club

America’s Last Bastion of Hope?

A bold claim: Scottsdale, Arizona is the number one party destination in the United States for the single dude. It certainly doesn’t hurt that that Arizona State University (enrollment 83,000+) is located right next door in Tempe, Arizona. Although I haven’t even visited Scottsdale since 2013, friends of mine who still live in the area assure me that it has only gotten better.

The New York Times has been singing the virtues of Scottsdale as a party town for more than a decade, but since then the old town party district has been completely revamped. Now you can expect to find massive clubs built around Olympic sized pools jam-packed with drunken, bikini-clad coeds from lunch time up until the 2:30am closing time. But that’s not all, Scottsdale is nowhere near as wealthy as competing destinations such as LA, South Beach, Hollywood, NYC, etc. and therefore requires far less cash to compete. In fact, some may find it to be downright cheap, particularly by US standards. Furthermore, the whole SoCal, angry, tattooed douchebagery thing is not nearly as prevalent in Scottsdale, although as you may have seen on The Dirty, Scottsdale certainly has its own native species of douchebag, also sometimes referred to as “the $35,000 millionaire.”

Scottsdale pool party girls

Scottsdale pool party girls

Regarding the women, Scottsdale is a microcosm of the US where the obesity epidemic has yet to rear it’s ugly head. Hot, fit women are the absolute norm and unless your game is absolutely terrible, you will have an extremely good shot at ending up with a 7-9/10 any day of the week! Although nowhere in the states (Scottsdale included) can compare with Eastern Europe, the best of the best women there are some how hotter. Everyone is into fitness, health and of course, plastic surgery. A hot chick can easily stay hot well into her 40s unlike the chain smoking, whiskey swilling club sluts of Eastern Europe.

Prices

Of course if you go to the the hottest, fanciest clubs in town you can expect to pay $10-$15 per drink, however if you know where to go you can find outrageously cheap drink specials all day and all night. To be clear, $1 beers and $5 pitchers are not hard to find.

As far as lodging goes, see for yourself on Airbnb, Home Away or whatever your accommodation site of choice is. You can expect to find a decent condo or apartment, most with a pool, for just $30-$80 per night. You can even find whole houses for rent for under $100 per night. The accommodations are almost Eastern Europe cheap! Not only that but you’ve got tons of budget flights to Phoenix from major airports all over the US.

Top 5 Bars and Clubs

  1. Cake Nightclub
  2. HiFi Kitchen & Cocktails
  3. El Hefe
  4. Maya Day & Nightclub
  5. The Mint Ultra Lounge

Best Dive Bar

Best Strip Club

If you’re stuck in the states, give Scottsdale a try, it’s likely the best you’ll do!

Special thanks to Penetrator X for updating us on the latest and greatest hot spots in Scottsdale

Scottsdale chicks

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  • misanthropytoday

    I would not recommend anyone go to Scottsdale, its probably the douchiest place in the US.

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