Why Dating a Male Feminist Is Like Dating a Bitchy Girl

Male feminists are like bitchy girls

Male Feminist


Like most ideologues, male feminists make me uncomfortable. But because I’m a woman, they make me particularly uncomfortable.

Because the most abusive, nasty, and whiny guys I run into into are invariably male feminists. They treat women exactly as badly as they claim all the other guys treat women.

They’re selfish and lazy in bed; they use the evils of chivalry as an excuse for making you do their share of the housework as well as theirs; they’ll gladly let you pay for all the groceries in the name of independence. Their idea of empowering you is refusing to pull their own weight.

They’re incapable of having female friends without trying to get them into bed; when these attempts fail, the so-called “friendship” ends in a miasma of sulking (or stalking). They can’t stand to leave it at friendship because they haven’t got the confidence in their own masculinity to “waste” even the remotest chance of getting some. (Because nine times out of ten they fuck it up with their whining and manipulative swinishness.)

Once they do get you in the sack, the games begin. I’ve been cheated on by a male feminist boyfriend in the most hurtful and horrible ways possible—for example, being replaced by a girl who was literally half my age while I was mourning the death of my best friend. When this charming specimen tried to get me to falsely accuse one of my friends of raping me—just to see if he had enough control over me to get me to accuse an innocent person of a felony—he responded to my refusal with “Haven’t you even heard of feminism?”

Oh, I’ve heard of it. Wish I hadn’t, though.

On the other hand, guys who don’t babble about feminist theory make attentive lovers as well as great friends. As friends, they might toss you one pass for the hell of it; if you don’t catch it, they have the confidence to assume the next girl will, and can go on being as robustly chummy as before. They don’t befriend women in hopes that they’ll get laid—they befriend women they actually want to befriend. If they get laid, it’s the cherry on the sundae.

If the male feminist doesn’t get laid after doling out some friendship, it’s end-of-the-fucking-world-level unfaaaaaaaaaair.

Why is this? Why do the men who talk the loudest about women’s rights and how the ladies ought to stand up for themselves turn around and treat them to the most cruel and presumptuous behaviors imaginable?

Well, ’cause sometimes the lady doth protest too much.

Like white liberals who won’t shut the fuck up about everyone else’s racism, I suspect these guys feel a serious secret prejudice, nay, hatred toward the objects of their solicitous concern.

Racism and sexism are bad-think, you see. (I mean, sure, these are bad things, but they’re human emotions, better dealt with than neurotically denied.) These twats are too vain to wrap their heads around the notion that there might be any sort of unsavory note in the fine bouquet of their souls. So rather than get help with their little hatred problem, they scream about everyone else’s sexism and racism in hopes that no one will see through to the evil in their own hearts.

Guys who don’t hate women, on the other hand, have no need to throw up such ideological smokescreens. Why would they yip and yap about feminist theory? They have nothing to hide. They tell it like it is, open the door for you if you like; they help you clean up your kitty litter, lend a hand when a stranger’s car breaks down; they’re kind and helpful, whether they think it will get them laid or not.

Because they’re confident they’ll get laid sometime in any case. Because they come equipped with a genuine love for women. Security makes people generous. Hatred makes them shrill.

I’m sure there are feminists out there who will read this, grinding their teeth, and squawk about how I obviously hate myself. “She’s defending the sort of woman-beater who doesn’t read Naomi Wolf like she’s the Gospel according to Luke! Clearly she likes being punched.”

You have one guess at the ideological bent of the guy who actually punched me.

Ladies, if you want the lovely treatment feminism promises to deliver you, avoid male feminists like the sneaky-ass woman-haters they are.

Ann Kathryn Sterzinger

Ann is an editor and a writer who produces actual tragic comedies—that is, they aren't unfunny stories that end happily like in "Tragicomedy." They're funny stories that end horribly. The other stuff she does is only interesting to her. Buy her best novel, NVSQVAM, at Nine-Banded Books, which also published her recent Mirbeau translation. Her second-best novel is available on Amazon (as is everything else Sterzingerian). You can find her blog at www.annsterzinger.com.




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  • Killinger

    Hear that you spineless wieners? Feminists don’t like you. Stop bending over backwards for people that hate you for existing.

  • Vidofnir

    Male feminist are emasculated beta males, why would anyone want to be with such a pathetic creature that apologizes for its own existence?

    The flip side of that is that the type of guys that feminists actually want, dont want them either, for much of the same reasons they dont want the male feminists, why would you want to be with somone thats angry all the time, sees Sexism and Misogyny around every conrner, and is toxic to be with in general?

    why choose that, when you have a huge pool of non feminist women to chose from?

    In the end Darwinism will run its course as Male-Feminists and Feminists, breed less and grow old alone without children..

    • Dan Slezak

      Don’t forget the cats, lots of cats!

      And box wine

    • PolishKnightUSA

      This is a good START and I was there, about 20 years ago. Yes, male feminists and feminists are shrill man/woman haters. But just as bad are the “moderate” feminists who think that voting rights for women and “equal pay” are good things and the rest of the entitlements (the doors held open, paid dinner dates, etc.) should be well enough alone.

      Let’s try it this way. Let’s say you liked eating out at restaurants and getting the waiter serve you hand foot like royalty and take your “orders”. A whole staff catering to your whims. You like that aspect of “traditional” dining.

      Then the check arrives and you say: “Well, I like all that OTHER stuff but not paying for it. How about we do it all but just without me paying?”

      All the other “stuff” that women crave about men: The protection, support, the being treated like a child sometimes (literally on lifeboats), all is supported by men being respected as leaders and providers. Women can’t make as much as men and still have men pay all the bills. You can’t eat cake and then have it too.

      So it’s not just the outright man-hating feminists (male or female) that are the problem but the poison of “nice” feminism that is spreading to the rest of the “developed” world that dedicates resources to seemingly liberating women and ultimately makes them, and men, miserable. The women get angry that after they earned more money, and men don’t earn as much, the men aren’t as “generous” and she doesn’t need them anymore. As women become more and more shrill, the men become weak and, therefore, less attractive to these women.

  • Anon6969

    Exterminate all manginas!

  • Joseph Romano

    I must be a weird dude because I like to have sex with women who find me attractive and want to have sex with me. When I am aware that a woman is trying to use sex as a tool, it is a turn off. I can’t even fathom the idea of raping a woman, having sex with someone while terrorizing them. Rape is about power – nothing else – it is right in line with those who bully because they are really pussies. Those who rape are intimidated by women. I am absolutely not one of those “knights in white shining armor” types, nor do I even give a shit about feminism, I think it is all pretty silly on some levels. I have had girlfriends before that that were constantly in the “you MEN think this, that…blah blah blah” and it made me laugh, because I thought none of those things. They would also say “Oh, but it’s ok to do “x” if you’re a man, isn’t it?” with the glare, anger and attitude reserved for someone who thinks all men are exactly the same and think the same way. My favorite is when they say things like “you always talk about what women do when we talk about relationships” – No, sweetie, I talk about what women I have been in relationships have done when we talk about relationships because it is my experience…….and the reason I don’t talk about men is because I AM NOT GAY AND HAVE NEVER BEEN IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH A MAN!!!!!!!!!
    If you think you need a movement to define your gender, to defend yourself against those evil men, you already have your preconceived belief of what men are and you are probably what they refer to as a “man-hater”, lol.
    By the way, I have locked more than one heavily intoxicated woman at a party in a “safe” room, or told a man that he needed to leave an obviously intoxicated out of her mind woman alone ( and by locked, i mean locked the door behind me ) for the simple fact that I have heard from enough female friends how tough it is to get over knowing that they were not of sound mind when they were taken home by someone. I am not talking about buzzed, having a good time, party girls, I mean, the chick is out of it, stumbling, etc. and Mr. Nice guy steps in to “give her a ride home”.

  • Mark Neil

    I always say, the most deplorable men are drawn to feminism, because it absolves them of responsibility for them being deplorable. Feminism asserts that their deplorable behaviour isn’t their fault, it’s inherent to men and masculinity, and so these deplorable men just couldn’t help themselves… it’s not their fault. And the fact they are accepting feminism makes them good men, not deplorable men. And, of course, these men reaffirm the feminist beliefs that men are monsters, openly stating as much… and feminists like that confirmation.

    • Kendall Raine

      There’s literally a comment below from an anti-feminist man blaming a woman for her own sexual assault because “men are sexual beings.” I think you got things mixed up.

      • Mark Neil

        I assume you’re referring to firebits…

        1: I’m not sure how the existence of deplorable men outside feminism in any way negates what I said about similar deplorable men being drawn to it. you’re attempting to deflect criticism. Feminism appealing to horrid men as a means of absolving themselves of responsibility does in any way assert that there are no bad men that aren’t drawn to feminism. And the fact you point to a single man, and think that in any way disproves my assertion, as if I was speaking in absolutes rather than generalizations… well… such tactics are common among feminists.

        2: Firebits was making assumptions to come to his conclusion, and while I don’t agree with his conclusion, the assumptions he makes, or the premises he bases them on, it needs to be acknowledged that the women he responded to was actually able to understand his point and disagree with it. I don’t think you can do that. You aren’t willing to acknowledge the agency women hold with regards to the relationship dynamic. Furthermore, once Bayonnaise clarified some things, firebits withdrew his assumptions. Again, don’t take this as an agreement with firebits (I suspect you will anyway)… I can disagree with both your positions.

  • Kiran Buenafe

    Truer words have never been spoken.

  • Max Gold

    I fucking hate manginas with a passion.

    • Alan

      The new supreme leader of Canada is a registered on record mangina. Putin must invade Canada.

  • Maurice Broker

    You raised a lot of great points. I would like to comment some of them.

    1. I also suspected that male`s solidarity to the so called rape culture doctrine is part of their insecurity need to excuse their women desires, living in a dream where he is the only one she has desires for. It is like the dellusional husband that wants to believe his wife`s excuse to cheat on him. Pathetic. Your tale of a boyfriend trying to convince you that you were raped is priceless because it offers a direct example for my suspicious.

    2. You may feel like Male feminists are manipulative fellows that kind of infiltrate into the lexicon and modus operandi of Women`s rights for their own selfish reasons. But have you ever though that maybe It is the very modus operandi and doctrines of feminism that allows that to happen? I mean, those guys are simply asking coherence from feminists. If women want to be treated equaly, why men should he feel any guilt for not paying the groceries?

    3. You sound like you just rediscovered the precious value of traditional males, but, in my oppinion, the only thing you discovered – and that`s good enough – is that nobody (including princesses) can have the best of all worlds. If you want a traditional male, don`t think he will not charge you for the goods he provides with a set of traditional requirements. If you want a male feminist instead, don`t hope too much. He will also charge you coherence and fidelity to the full consequences of equality. As though I feel your article interest, I can`t help but feeling scared by it. It seems like women are deciding If they want feminism or not based on the types of men that serves better their interest. It seems you are complaining about feminism because male feminists do not let you hae your own way. So, It seems you are not different than feminists that complaint about the same: that traditional men do not let them have their own way. The only ones that are not listened to and not consulted here are (both) traditional and feminist men. In oher words we are the only ones losing in this war of feminists and traditionalist women.

  • jinna

    I do not agree with the stereotypes in this article but I also dislike male feminists. I dislike them because I dislike feminism and I do not trust them because I think they must have a hidden agenda to believe such nonsense.

  • jg

    “You have one guess at the ideological bent of the guy who actually punched me”

    He was just treating equally as he would a guy who talks too much sh*t.

  • FireBits

    Women are a nuisance. Yes male feminists think they found a way to get female validation through friendship, but in reality they degrade themselves. Friend zone is an abuse that not single straight man should enter, and I don’t recommend it for gays either, because being an emotional tampon is going to be what it’s going to be. Women are always bad company.

    I don’t give women nothing, nor I am going to war for them. I even turn against my countrymen before I become disposable male. I am not white knight or mangina, and I don’t care a fuck, what women want. I am for absolute equality of opportunity and equality of treatment.

  • Juan David Mejia

    A man needs woman as fish needs a bicicle, men should go their own way

    • Dustin

      Are you a eunuch? Or gay? Which one?

      • Black Knigth

        you know who is parodying right?

      • jules mdot

        Lust is one of the 7 deadly sins for a reason. Chasing women can land you in a world you should have never entered. Just think long and hard about that one 😉

  • Phoboskibbity M’Goo

    i asked my mom about male feminists, she is a long time feminist and activist of the 2nd wave variety… she did not have a very high opinion of these men, as i am sure she has seen this behavior from male feminists for decades… i do not Identify as a feminist, i am just a plain old egalitarian anarchist… i will help a sister out if she asks me, i have been surrounded my whole life by powerful women. so I know that women by in large do not need my help… much of modern feminism has devolved into an victimization complex, a fetish even, and its these feminist men, that are attracted to women they perceive as vulnerable, as victims, to be saved or whatever, it inflates a damaged ego when you get to be the white knight riding to the rescue all the time, its an ego boost for these men. and some of them are just strait up predators

  • Frank Delta

    male feminists ironically get less interest from women, says something about women not trusting feminists ??

    • Akagi_Shigeru

      It’s because deep down the Feminist women know they respond in a biologically instinctive level to men that are better than them and have no qualms about controlling/dominating them and putting them in their rightful place (Alphas).

      Male Feminists have swallowed the COINTELPRO propaganda subterfuge hook, line, & sinker and look like cows championing for their own slaughter (Betas). They are weak men without a speck of masculine energy about them. They can’t check bitch behavior because they’ve taken the blue pill & are tapped into their Videodrome signal.

      Feminist women will fight men tooth and nail for control & dominance, but the moment you acquiesce to their demands and give it to them, the amount of respect they’ll be able to command for you won’t be sufficient to fill a thimble. You have to keep it constantly out of reach and dripfeed them scant amounts of validation in scarce, carefully proportioned & controlled dosages in order to gain their interest.

      A better strategy is to write them off altogether as damaged women and pursue better prospects.

  • Bayonnaise

    I got sexually assaulted by a male feminist (whom I thought was a close friend) at my 21st birthday party. Ever since then, I’ve been hesitant to trust anyone that calls themselves a feminist, male or female.

    • FireBits

      You probably gave him wrong signals, because you forgot that he is actually a real man, not gay. I wonder why it is so difficult for women to realize that even men they don’t find sexually attractive are still sexual beings.

      • Bayonnaise

        I see what you’re getting at, but no, I wasn’t giving him any signals at all. I was sitting with my husband (then boyfriend) minding our own business. I’d rather not get into detail about it, but I can swear I wasn’t giving him signals of any kind.

        • FireBits

          Okay, that changes situation quite a bit.

        • KrisRenateox

          Okay, What the fuck.

          You just let that guy blame you for getting raped.

          What the fuck did I just read.

      • There are oblivious women, and there are oblivious men.

        One thing you cannot be oblivious to, is a hard “no.”

  • MovieBuff

    Strange…this article seems to perfectly describe Elliot Roger.

    Confirmation bias activated! 😀

    • Mark Neil

      And Hugo Schwyzer.

      I’m curious what confirmation bias you’re referring to.

      Also, you do realize Roger subscribed to the idea that if he was a good man, he would get laid. If you’ve ever debated with a feminism, you will have invariably been sent this implication when you’re sexuality, you’re ability to get sex in the past, and the assurance you’ll not get any in the future, have all been called into question and challenged. So long as feminists keep insisting men who don’t subscribe to their ideals won’t get laid, you’ll keep getting men like Roger who do subscribe to those ideals, and then feel cheated when they don’t get the implied reward. But yeah, keep blaming everyone else for Roger

      • MovieBuff

        I agree with you.
        I long suspected Roger to be a male feminist. That is the confirmation I speak of.

  • Bayonnaise

    I got sexually assaulted by a male feminist at my 20th birthday party, and because of that, I don’t trust anyone that calls themselves a feminist, male or female.

  • Andrew White

    So… men who aren’t feminist are potential rapists and child molesters, and feminist men are stalkers and cheaters and lazy sexists.

    I’m confused. Like, this is bothering me a whole hell of a lot and I’m trying to figure out how to make these feminists happy so that we can stop getting accusations like this.

    • politicalcynic

      If she’s a feminist….tell her to get stuffed.

      It won’t make her happy-but you’ll be MUCH happier in the long run.

    • Grave,Regis

      Stop trying. These women’s ideas and company are unfit for human consumption.

    • Zazado

      You’re probably confused because you’re an idiot.

    • aussieguy64

      “I’m trying to figure out how to make these feminists happy so that we can stop getting accusations like this.”
      => And that is your problem!

      Feminists are mentally spoiled children. The more you appease, compromise, and try to make them happy; the more they will continue what they’re doing. They are going to throw out accusations regardless what you do!

      The solution is simple:
      Don’t appease them.
      (You’re just feeding a bottomless pit!)

      Don’t listen to them.
      (They have a right to talk, they don’t have a right to an audience!)

      Don’t vote for them.
      (They will try to get into positions of power in order to change the rules to benefit themselves! Don’t let them!)

      Don’t date them.
      (Seriously, don’t. Just walk away. Find yourself a common sense woman.)

      Don’t click on their websites.
      (Don’t help fund them! Off-line, on-line.)

      Don’t agree with them. Mock them.
      (There’s nothing more distressing for a Feminist than a man telling them they’re wrong.)

      Don’t take their BS seriously. Point out their hypocrisy, stupidity, and dishonesty.
      (All their studies are flawed. They are intentionally skewed to produce results and conclusions to fit their agenda. They don’t do academically honest study and analysis. This is why NONE of them do STEM. They just complain about it!)

      …If all else fails, don’t waste your time on them. Ignore them. Live your life. Let them be miserable.

    • I iz a fatass

      “… I’m trying to figure out how to make these feminists happy…”

      Don’t bother. As a man, and especially a white male, you are 3rd wave feminism’s enemy.

  • Zazado

    This is on point.

  • Isn’t a “feminist man” some kind of an oxymoron?

    • ghebert

      Well if you remove the “oxy”…

    • MovieBuff

      Quite similar to “Nazi Jew” and “Black KKK member”

  • Love this piece but–“they help you clean up your kitty litter”–minor disagreement. While of course a chivalrous gent might stoop so low, personally I wouldn’t want my brave one’s hands soiled by such a venture. I’ll do it myself. If I had a cat that is. Naturally would wash my hands thoroughly before making him a sandwich. Might pout if my tire went low but kitty litter?

    Behind every feminist man a.k.a. “White Knight”, in my view, is a withholding mother. He thinks if only she “felt empowered” love will surely come his way. I’d make that bitch clean up the kitty litter except that she’s probably been inhaling it so long herself it would be hollow.

    Just because I might feel sorry for her son doesn’t, well, inspire giving him an “empowered” porn fantasy. Yecch.

    Housework is wonderful. I love it. Whatever he wants. Loving housework is practically a rebellion. Totally pisses off the feminists. I’m not talking white doilies or anything. Any man who likes doilies doesn’t need to be in my house.

  • coptic777

    I am no male feminist but I stopping reading at
    ” they use the evils of chivalry as an excuse for making you do their share of the housework as well as theirs; they’ll gladly let you pay for all the groceries in the name of independence”

    The days of chivalry and men bring made to do things like the old days are coming to an end. Don’t like it blame feminist.

    • Ace

      I think you’re misinterpreting her. She isn’t arguing that feminist men are wrong because they aren’t chivalrous. They’re wrong because they use “chivalry is outdated!” as an excuse to make her do all the work including his share.

      • Grave,Regis

        I think she’s misunderstanding HERSELF and is therefore incapable of being understood. Too many voices in her head.

    • Joshua Werstler

      Maybe you should have kept reading and brushed up on some comprehension skills.

      • coptic777

        This comment and vagina sniffing you are doing will not get you laid by the author bruh. Wow what a simp! Next you will threaten me with violence to defend her honor…

        • Joshua Werstler

          Why would anyone need someone against a simpleton? kek

    • Akagi_Shigeru

      Chivalry didn’t die, women just renamed it to “thirst”.

  • Edward_Fortyhands

    This is an excellent article.

    Ideologues of any kind to be tiresome and controlling. They are constantly preaching. Egomania and personal tragedy are the frequent results. For some local color, Somerset Maugham’s “Rain.”

  • ProudlyUnaffiliated

    Good article.

    When God realized that Adam wasn’t happy,
    he asked him why. Adam told God that he was lonely. God said, “Adam, I’m
    going to give you a companion. She will cook and clean for you, bear your children, never wake you in the night to help caring
    for the children. She will not nag, she will not whine and she will
    take care of you hand and foot without complaining and with a smile on
    her face, and she will be called a woman.”
    Adam asked God what his would cost him. God answered, “An arm and a
    leg.” Adam thought about it and said, “What can I get for a rib?”

    • Egon Ruuda

      According to the jewish books, Adam and Lilith was created equal, and Lilith would not submit to Adam. She left the garden of eden, and is only mentioned in the christian bible as a evil being. YHWE then created EVE out of a rib or Adam so that they would eternaly be dependant on each other, and that EVE should be considered a part of Adam’s body for him to do what he pleases.
      Being a believeving jewish feminist is antithetical =D

      • Juan David Mejia

        god doesn’t exist so who cares, also i think male feminist are traitor to us men, i’m glad that even feminist hate them XD

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