A couple years ago we published an anonymous guest post entitled “i dun unerstan u lah: An expose of Singaporea and Singaporean Retardation”. The article was wildly popular and it went viral almost immediately after we posted it. The overall response was basically foreigners saying “Yup, that’s Singapore” and Singaporeans saying “We no retarded FAK Uuuuuu Foreigners $*(#&(*@#&$”.
Yesterday, I accidentally stumbled across a perfect example of Singaporean Retardation in the wild: 31 year old “Celebrity Blogger,” Xiaxue, aka Wendy Cheng (I must mention her age because her blog looks like the creation of a mentally handicapped thirteen year old). I discovered her while fooling around answering questions on Quora. “Oh boy,” I thought, “this is going to be an excellent place to pull out some material from the archives.” I found some inane question about this “Xiaxue” thing so I answered the question letting readers know that this looks like an excellent example of Singaporean Retardation. Some retarded “gossip” web forum where they have 17 threads and counting on the Xiaxue phenomenon immediately commented on my answer. I noticed hundreds of referral hits coming to our site from this forum so I figured I should probably throw up a quick post about Xiaxue and Singaporeans to bait them further. As you may have noticed, if you read the original article, Singaporeans get so pissed when you insult them online that their heads practically explode.
I am not really sure where to begin with this one. While Xiaxue is clearly no rocket scientist herself, I think the bigger story here is that she has nearly 350,000 Facebook likes, 240,000+ Twtitter followers and a claimed 40,000 pageviews per day of her Blogspot blog, which makes up a sizable portion of tiny Singapore’s entire population. While it’s pretty amazing that someone could be so retarded as to not move a website that generates 1.2 million pageviews per month off Blogspot, it’s even more amazing how many Singaporeans read this crap. It seems like Xiaxue is the “Kim Kardashian of Singapore” without the obnoxiously fat ass but with a distinctly ladyboyish flare (fake hair, fake eye color, etc.).
When dealing with Singaporean retardation, it’s often the details that are most amusing. Like the government websites that “close” outside of business hours and the toilet training signs for grownups, a Singaporean IT company claims to be “hosting” Xiaxue’s blog. The worst part is, I bet it actually earns them business since Singaporeans are clearly too stupid to recognize that Blogspot (aka Blogger) is a platform owned and hosted by Google.
Don’t take my word for it, head on over to xiaxue.blogspot.com where you can enjoy reading such literary masterpieces as: “I caused Grace Tan to have LOOSE STOOLS” and “The Big Gushcloud Exposé” (Parts 1 and 2). The fun absolutely never stops on Xiaxue’s blog, read along and you too may become as retarded as the average Singaporean.