After an extremely mediocre team vacation in the US, on behalf of western men everywhere, Charlie and I have decided to auction off all American women on Ebay. We’re not sure if we can get anything for them but as bad as they already are they are clearly depreciating assets.
Please be advised that these items are sold as is. You can expect to find many flaws. There is absolutely no warranty expressed or implied. Potential defects include, but are not limited to:
- Boorish, loud and classless behavior
- Obesity to varying degrees
- Lack of education and general knowledge
- Inability to speak foreign languages
- Inability to speak English at a high level
- Lack of curiosity about the world outside the United States
- Unreasonable expectations
- Mild to severe cases of feminism
- High levels of gold diggerism
- Miscellaneous psychological disorders ranging from mild to severe
- False rape accusations
Although we expect to get very little we really believe the price of these assets has nowhere to go but down. After sampling substitute products produced by other countries we know that America is rock bottom in this market and is so far behind the curve that there is no hope for recovery. We are ready to cut these items loose at fire sale prices. There is no reserve and the winner takes all. Happy Bidding!