The Single Dude’s Guide to Montevideo, Uruguay

Uruguay fat chicksGreetings to all from the Southern Hemisphere! I came down to avoid winter and Christmas and instead enjoy sunny summer in South America. Fuck cold weather, I never understood why people would put up with it. Anyway, It’s been a week since I heard any Christmas elevator music or was encouraged to buy anything I didn’t need just to keep the wheels on the US economy, and I’m totally fine with that.

I just spent 5 days in the capital of Uruguay, and I want to report back to Single Dude nation that Montevideo is a shockingly mediocre location for the single dude or frankly any traveler. I was very surprised by this realization, because I thought it would be awesome here. I came to Uruguay with the following thesis:

1. There are lots of reports of model agencies looking in SE Brazil for the next Giselle. The gene pool there is excellent and there are lots and lots and lots of hot chicks there who like to party. But I don’t speak Portuguese (yet) and gringos need a visa to visit Brazil.

2: Whenever I’m in Miami or other fancy club places, the Argentinas I meet are always super hot. However Argentinos, especially from Buenos Aires are snobby.

3. Uruguay is in between the two places, less well-known, and probably cheaper, less snobby, and the same gene pool. I don’t need a visa to go there (like Brazil) and my frequent flier miles will work for that ticket.

Great! Let’s go to Uruguay! It will be the beginning of summer (December) and it will be a cheap place with lots of hot chicks and good weather. I’ll hang out for a while drinking for cheap at beachside bars and picking up girls that are 90% as hot as Adriana Lima.

adriana lima

90% of this would be A-ok for me

Here is a picture of Adriana Lima. Imagine walking down the street with a chick with 90% of that hotness. Image buying her a 2 dollar drink at the beachside bar in Montevideo before whisking her off to a tango club and then having coffee the next afternoon on the beach. Sounds awesome, right? Uruguay!!

Wrong, wrong, wrong. Uruguay is not the place for us. Sorry, boys, false alarm.

First of all, it’s not cheap here. Hotels – minimum $30, and you don’t get much for that price. Dinner, two entrees, one appetizer and a bottle of wine – $40, minimum. That would be $15 in Vietnam if you’re keeping score. Pint of local beer at any bar – $4-$5. Cup of coffee – $2.50.

You see what I’m saying. It’s not South Beach or Singapore expensive, but it’s not cheap. Now if everything else were awesome, that would be acceptable, but the roll call of mediocrity is only beginning.

The food, frankly, stinks. It appears the whole Uruguayan populace has pretty low standards for food. Menus are short, and are basically lists of overpriced unseasoned meat or basic cheese pizzas without any flavor. There’s never anything spicy, never anything healthy. If you go to a fancy place, they’ll bring you a giant steak, with some tomatoes and iceberg lettuce ( I never saw anything but iceberg lettuce in Uruguay). That’s fine dining. The Uruguayans will dig in with gusto to a plate of fries covered in yellow cheese sauce, unseasoned. You get it, it’s not a foodie country.

The most jarring realization I had was that the chicks in Uruguay are shockingly so-so. Obviously they are better than the American chicks, but in the bars I went to it was a not uncommon occurrence to see a group of 5 chicks of the right age group come in the bar and 4 of them be completely unbangable, no matter how many overpriced drinks you drank. 5 of 5 also happens. That never, ever, ever in a million years would happen in Bulgaria and it happened several times a night in the “hot clubs” of Montevideo. Their personalities are also like the food, flavorless and dull.

Another complaint I have is that the Uruguayans don’t go out until 1 in the morning at the earliest. I’m used to this phenomenon from having lived in Eastern Europe but there the party is awesome and there’s hot, smart, fun chicks everywhere. In Uruguay the party starts even later, but then it’s just a loud club with a bunch of mediocre chicks, nobody really partying much except for Brazilian tourists (the one saving grace of Montevideo nightlife) playing shitty Latin pop. If you want to take a girl home you need to survive until at least 6 am, and who has the energy at 6 am after a night in a loud club to do a good job with some mediocre dull chick? Every night I’d have a mediocre chick into me at 2 am but I just didn’t have the energy to sit there for the next 4 hours waiting for her. I must be getting old or something.

But the weather is nice in Uruguay, so it’s a good place to sit out at cafes on the beach and relax, right? Wrong. There is some law or something prohibiting bars or cafes on the ocean, so the entire ocean walk, called “La Rambla” is basically abandoned. There’s some joggers and some bums hanging out there, but no place to chill out, work on your laptop and drink coffee while looking at hot chicks in bikinis. On the Black Sea, there’s great beach bars everywhere. Montevideo? Almost none.

At this point I started feeling like I was taking crazy pills. Luckily, Uruguay has one major positive, which is the drug policy. Weed is tolerated there for personal use and is readily available, and not too expensive (Update: Weed is now legal in Uruguay). It’s blocked up with horse piss or something equally foul smelling so it’s not pleasant aromatic herb, but it does the job and the cops won’t give you a hard time for it, so that’s one bonus to Uruguay. Other than that I say learn from my mistake and never bother with this place, unless you’re getting paid well to go there.

Hotspots: In Pocitos at the intersection of 26 de Marzo and Herrera there’s some decent bars. Burlesque, Pony Pisador, Lotus and some other club. And in Ciudad Vieja (“Old City”) there’s a bar street with some options. Expect overpriced beers, shitty Latin music, and more fat chicks than even Raul could shake a stick at. Enjoy, bros.

If you liked this article check out our latest on Uruguay here.

Charlie Bushmeister

Call me Charlie.

I decided to join with others to write this blog because I feel that I have learned a lot about how to succeed in life in general. It took a lot of trial and error and I’ve developed a wealth of philosophies, skills, and tricks of the trade that would be very useful to like minded guys out there. There’s no need to repeat my mistakes, of which I have made many, instead I urge you to read this blog, absorb and practice its lessons, and then go out and have the most awesome life, on your own terms. To me that means good health, success in your career, the number and type of relationships you want, and general satisfaction that you’re not wasting your life spinning your wheels, but going forward always towards your goals.

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  • Manuel ✓Straight, Cis-gender

    I’ve been back a few more times, Uruguay sucks. It’s awful. It has literally nothing to offer that you can’t get better and/or cheaper somewhere else. A total fucking zero as a country. Awful.

  • Wait Here

    Uruguay is total shit. Communist government and the same mentality people. Piss poor people, shitty taxi drivers and nothing to do.

    It’s a fucking shit hole. Avoid at all costs.

    And don’t believe the hype about the WEEED and how EAAASY it is to score here.

    Trust me.. the people are so chronically unfriendly, that just by looking at them will kill any desire to smoke.. much less to enjoy the smoke while looking at these dirty poor unhappy and bitter fuckers.

    I’ve been here already for almost a week and still haven’t scored even a dime bad, since I don’t feel asking these sour assholes for any help. Usually I don’t have any problems scorring weed anywhere, but here I just don’t feel the groove to even ask…

    What a bunch of losers.. seriously. I can bet their weed is of the same quality as everything else here.. so why bother.

    • Frank

      The LAST thing Uruguay needs is slime like you. Just another idiot dope head

  • Charlie

    Coming from someone who actually lives in Uruguay – if you enjoy wine, the beach, exercise, delicious buttery steaks and you know the right places (Bluzz Live, Montevideo Music Box, etc) and theatre you’ll definitely enjoy Montevideo. That being said, Montevideo is very laid back. If you want to party like Miami Beach then you go to Punta del Este. You’ll have many wild nights there – however, it is even more expensive than Montevideo. So you just went to the wrong city is all.

  • Frank

    I have been to Uruguay twice and found it to be an excellent place. I don’t care where you are in the world there are always pretty women. Uruguay is the same. Pretty women all over the place. I love Uruguay and would like to live there.

  • Alexander Kutusow

    Bushmeister you are right! Both Uruguay and Argentina are boring places,people there seem to be in a collective mental state of depression.Their societies are prudish catholic duplicitous hypocritical , everything happens concealed. Here in Europe women are free and parents don´t meddle in the kids life. Anyway the most attractive white women in the planet are by far in Eastern Europe Russia, Baltics, Ukrania,Belarus.The most ugly in UK.

    • Wait Here

      What he said.

    • Frank

      The Eastern European women may be attractive but they are out for themselves ONLY. NEVER, NEVER, think about getting serious with one

  • Alexander Kutusow

    hehe…. Who doesn´t want to get laid Paul?
    And who say women with great bodies are dumb ? Did you ever met one ? Did you ever go to Bulgaria ? You know what ? You are a Jerk too!
    Bushmeister is right ! Uruguay women are not attractive! And people there seem to be in a collective mental state of depression, That’s the sad truth!

    • Frank

      If you like the whores of Bulgaria I suggest you go there and spread your bad habits there.

      • Manuel ✓Straight, Cis-gender

        Everything is better in Bulgaria except perhaps the beef… Uruguay has Bulgaria beat there. Oh yea, and Bulgaria is cheaper…

  • Sah

    🙁 so sorry you didn’t like it!

  • tmoni

    is this feed still active? the comments are funny as much as sadly causing unrest.
    are there any locals up for showing me around. Well mannered dual Aussie citizen/ex us citizen.
    Im not that bothered about the food and I’m highly attracted to the niceness that Uraguay seems to offer… chicks? ummm there is no such thing as a non-attractive girl; especially if she has the time to take interest or like me.
    hit me up… or pass me to a friend that I can start writing, in order to get to know…brefore my arrival
    what am I hoping to achieve? hours of chating, viewing,dreaming, Procrastinating
    who knows…. the sky is the limit

  • Manuel ✓Straight, Cis-gender

    Yes how great to keep those much needed tourist dollars out of your overpriced, stuck in the 1950s country. Looks like Cuba only more expensive and less fun.

  • Andrea

    How much ignorance and rudeness can one show in one post! I guess the limits are unknown. That Uruguay has a poor gastronomic display is a not very educated statement, I’d say you were not well informed Charlie. Next time, instead of jumping to the closest pizza bar you could try Francis, Hemingway or Panninis, that would be what people usually call a restaurant…
    Regarding night life and women, oh well where to start? You just don’t seem to know where things go down in Montevideo. Of all those places you mentioned Lotus is the only one I go to, and they usually play electronic music. Anyway overall it seems that you missed the summer season in the east coast. Sucks for you. I’d mention a couple of clubs that would blow your brains out but…honestly Charlie, I don’t want people like you going there.
    Uhm and about uruguayan girls being not very appealing and boring? I will just make an educated guess here and assume that the girls you are used to establish conversations with are usually impressed by your exquisite knowledge of cultures and traditions? Some say the prettier the woman is the hardest to impress…but nevertheless now I can say I’m more than proud of my uruguayan fellas for not giving a simply disgusting man like you the chance.
    Please stay as short as you can Charlie.

    • Alexander Kutusow

      “Some say the prettier the woman is the hardest to impress”

      That only rules in a pretty-women desert!
      If you have tons of nice ladies, a pretty-women ocean,other rules are in place.

      “.but nevertheless now I can say I’m more than proud of my uruguayan fellas for not giving a simply disgusting man like you the chance.”

      Your supposed morals and ethics are a a clear case of double standards and hypocritical catholic mentality. you are just pathetic.

      “I’d mention a couple of clubs that would blow your brains out ”

      Bollocks! You guys act so depressed,with you even sodom gomorrah would get gloomy and downcast!

  • Here’s to hoping our new article on #Uruguay will stir up an equally virulent comment shit storm to the original. Check it out.

  • rikygst

    I think this guy exaggerate a little, I will come in Uruguay the 5 of February, and I am sure that between a drink and some weed, (and smoking with no worries is priceless) I will have fun, and maybe I will be so lucky to found good company, even if is not a model who cares.

    Maybe they will like the Italian accent more than the English. LOL.

    I noticed that this post it is quite old, If someone from the Uruguay like to advise me on some good venue, please write to me at

    And Food look gorgeous.

  • jajaja 😀 Pobrecito este Dude!!! Es un tremendo ANIMAL e IGNORANTE!! Será que se quedo caliente porque ninguna URUGUAYA le dio bola 😀 😀 😀 Nosotras no somos ningunas perdidas, ni nos vamos con el primero que se nos pasa por delante, cosa que no se puede decir sobre muchas otras chicas! Yo estoy muy ORGULLOSA de mi pais y de ser URUGUAYA!! Te quedo grande URUGUAY!!!

    • Juan Andres Falcon

      I’m from Uruguay and sadly what this guy said is 100% accurate. Everyone attacking him is doing it because they feel offended on a personal level. The truth hurts.

  • Alec

    You and two of your mates $$$$

  • Chuck – memphis tn

    The epitome of the rude American!!!!!

  • Charlee

    Tisk tisk Charlie
    ✌️ Charlee.

  • Martin

    Hilarious, thanks to everybody whose comments I read, it was excellent entertainment! I am so glad I found this while searching what to do on my only night in Montevideo on 10 Nov, which is a Monday!! According to Charlie The Single Dude’s brainless theory, what chance would I have of meeting any cool people, let alone a pretty woman on a Monday night in Montevideo! I am from Sydney, Australia and had a lovely Uruguayan/Australian girlfriend for 7 years, they are a great community of people here. Hopefully i will find a murga or candombe performance, or even talk to a few nice people in a nice old bar that reflects the history of the city, isn’t that what travelling is about?

    • Andre

      Bravo dude, much love to aussies. Cheers from an uruguayan chick 🙂

  • Flor

    Wow you are really rude, how can you say such awful things about a country? and that generalization about Uruguayan women, really? To be honest you don´t sound like a gentleman at all.
    I am A Uruguayan woman, and I personally feel offended by that generalization.
    I could make the same assumption, based on what you just wrote, and say that all american dudes are idiots, but then again I am a respectful and well-educated woman so as not make such an assumption based on a particular case.
    And by the way, what kind of narrow minded person does not Google a place before you go? If you had done a research you would have known that Montevideo is practically empty in the summer because young people hang out at places like La Pedrera in Rocha.

    • Andre

      Un imbecil al cubo este tipo 🙂

  • Malb3

    Another dumb ass America white guy who think he’s God’s gift to women. It sounds like he expected the poor South American women would just fall for his bull shit because he has an American accent. You travel to another country uninvited mind you, and you trash country it’s custom’s, food and most of all it’s people.And you judge their women poorly according to your bull shit standard’s I say just stay at home .
    you’re not God’s gift to women,even though you write as if you are. Did it ever cross your mind that maybe, just maybe the women were just not into you Of course you did not you are a privileged white Anglo from America.

  • pablo

    Hola, unfortunately I agree with you. I am Uruguayan, 41 and been around the world and I I I. The difference here is where you’ve been and where you haven’t been in the world. The incapable people that are and have been in charge of this country have destroyed the city by building countless shopping malls around the small city. That resulted in a social and cultural decline. Big decline!! In the eighties up to mid nineties you could have seen and tasted what you were looking for. Now most of the beautiful women left to other countries or live in areas where all the beautiful people hang among themselves. Unfortunately I agree with you. Its lame..

  • ตุ้มตุ้ย

    Sour grape.

  • Jarkko

    Charlie.. just why… why would you visit Montevideo during the summer? Everyone is running around half naked in Rocha by then. Couldn’t you have at least googled Uruguay before going there? Because it’s widely explained that, during the summer, Montevideo is a ghost town.

  • American Woman

    If America and American girls are so bad, you should stay the f×+k out.

  • I live and work in Montevideo (have been here for about a year now) and while there may be some truth to a few of the things you’ve said, you are over exaggerating for sure. The food is really good, there really isn’t much variety you’re right but who doesn’t love a nice big steak with some provolone and puree da papas?! Call me crazy…

    Regarding the women, I have met several very good looking local women and I see them all the time! Now, I will say that since I don’t speak spanish it’s quite difficult to carry a conversation with them but I’ve managed.

    The ‘beach’ isn’t Ipanema by any means but make a short trip to punta del este and you’re good to go. In closing, if you’re looking for a crazy South American nightlife with nice beaches and exotic women then no, Uruguay isn’t for you but if you’d like to experience South America for what it is then I would definitely recommend it. Go to Panama, Colombia or Brazil for the plastic women.

  • Pablo

    It seems this guy didn’t like to do some research before visiting Montevideo, the nonsense about the food is just a WTF are you talking about? Did you tried the most typical food: the uruguayan asado? just have a look this is our BBQ:

    About the girls, the thing is: they are not so snobby and not so easy… and to be sincere: your thesis is stupid. Period. Next time please use your brain to plan the travel instead of thinking with your penis. I can assure you you’ll have a nice time here.

  • Hey! I’m very sorry you had a bad experience coming here, but there really is no need to be so rude about it. You probably went to the wrong pubs and clubs, since you are a foreigber and hardly know your way around. There are many beautiful girls here, but not exactly where you expect to find them, since there us a really huge “slut taboo” going on here that people accuse you of being a slut if you even kiss a stranger one night… You are more likely to find the pretty ones in private parties. I am a Uruguayan girl myself, I’m not fat, I go to the gym, and I always try to look my best (excrpt for like.. really shitty days). So saying that ALL uruguayan girls are boring and ugly is a little… hurtful. 😛

    Hell, maybe I am boring and ugly, but I’m pretty sure not EVERY girl in Uruguay is that way. You should have given it another chance. But whatever, I respect your opinion no matter what it is. Cheers. 🙂

    • BiJake

      @Sasha Toso… I like your comment very much (and I agree with you)… your comment and sense of humor shows how respectful and classy Uruguayan girls are 🙂 I will definitely visit Uruguay 🙂

    • ianW44

      Sasha are you in Canada…I’d love to take your for a coffee or a beer babe…

    • Great reply. Buena respuesta.

    • Shahzad

      shasha i like uraguay its president and love to marry with uragauan girl

    • Viktor Malzev


      I had 6 days in Punta D. alone, in 1984. It was like Charlie wrote. But, then I had a girl in Buonos Aries and only looked at girls on the beach. I can latina – they did not know. Now, after 4 yaers in Vienna, 5 years in Thailand and now living in Norway – I miss Argentina/Uruguay. Good luck to you!

  • Raul

    You are such a fuck that don’t know how to write English or Spanish, Uruguay is a. Beauty country for a good time!!!!!asshole”……..

    • I_love_L

      I fell in love with an Uruguayan garchadora. She is just the most voluptuous woman alive. L i love you !

    • Wow isn’t that the pot calling the kettle black!

  • uruguayan dude

    shut the fuck up asshole. You’re a frustrated little bitch because you didn’t get any. Uruguayan girls are smart enough to not get nailed by a fucking dickhole. Get a life you fucking douchebag.

  • David

    Charlie, I thought you seemed like a well traveled guy. I was very hot to go to Uruguay. But it sounds like many better places to go for far less money and time. Thanks, this was insightful.

  • Roger Campos

    Speak the language stupeds!

  • thejib

    And if you go to uruguay you better know spanish and not be a creeper you wont have a good time.. knowing the native language when you go on any non resort vaction is 100% nessecary or else how the hell are you going to talk to 99% of the people you encounter.. its just ignorant, stupid, mildly dangerous and above all EXTEMELY BORING if you cant communicate with 99% of the people you entract with.. remember.. you a nobody to them your a gringo a dhmbass from north america nobody cares about you unless you throughing money around like a fool and even then so of you do that youll get robbed

    • My spanish is fluent; I’ve lived in Central America before and have no problem talking all night. It’s still boring in Uruguay with that level of fluency.

  • thejib

    And by summer i mean there summer so during north america’s winter just be ready for some intense heat

  • thejib

    Well you dont mnow how or were to eat in ururguay the best food is at the bbq joints you wont find bbqs like they have anywere else in the world theparty scene ykur comply correct abiut tho.. the part6 start at 1 and is until the sun comes up. And this isnt exactly a huge country with to many prosects in its future so most leave the ckuntry eparticualrly the younger people
    . Uruuguay is considered the vaction area for arginaians and pretty much the rest of south america. Its a busy bumping place their in summer and fyi punta del leste is the place you should be hiting up not montedvideo

  • Tickey

    Precisely correct September 2013

  • Frank

    you sound like a total American douche. Congrats on peddling your ignorance. I’ve been to Uruguay; different experience. In general, you get what you put out

  • puma

    muchas gracias para este infomacion i was considering a few months there but i think now i will reconsider. good info with good style bro better luck in your next adventure

  • tarket

    looks like it’s not worth to spend my money in uruguay

  • Lleven

    I’m from Argentina, I’ve been living in Uruguay for 8 years and I agree with you on everything you say. And I had a fun time readint the butthurt comments hahaha.

  • Lmao cut the dude some slack. Being American gives you a totally different perspective when it comes to haning out. American girls are much different and by world standards, easy. In much of Latin America girls try to get with you cuz your American. GIrls in America have nothing to gain they sleep around for fun. I’ve traveled the world in the military and lived in Puerto rico so I’m pretty sure I can speak on this. However it wouldnt hurt to learn spanish and talk to every single hot girl u see. Like most people here said, your forigen and girls are interested in that. But they never know if you dont open your mouth. im going to uruguay in October andi know no one. I make my own adventures.

  • Gabriel

    I read the blog interesting. Not sure to believe as true or not but luckily I like the idea of the relax narcotic policy and I am getting paid to be here. I play professional basketball for Capitol Montevideo and although I’m not a 6am partier I do enjoy a good time and considering I’m here for only 3-4 months depending on the success of my team I’m sure ill need a pretty guide to sure me where the good spot are so if there’s any out there fill free to email me at gabe32blair@gmail the name is Gabriel. Ill be sure to not pass any judgement until I’ve seen it all or at least as much as I’m able to see while I’m here.

  • cecilia

    i read these blog because i thought that i´m gonna like it but… sorry you are just a stupid poor illiterate unfuckable guy. you are just judging without know nothing. so sad. maybe if you were more openmind and not just looking for a hole where introduce your penis… if you have it..

  • Lo

    Hey man, sorry you had a bad time down here. Usually, if you go to the right places, women will stand in line to hook up with you just because you’re “foreign,” I know people approached me in the past because of that. Anyway, if you do come back (and by the looks of your post I doubt you ever will…) you might wanna do a little research prior to your arrival; most young and attractive locals go to the Uruguayan East Coast for the holidays and their summer break.

  • Sol

    Ok… I’m from Uruguay and I’m a chick, I must say that all the things you said are true, but it’s obvious that you only saw one part of Montevideo, the boring one.There is so much more than that, otherwise living here would be torture. The raves, the good vibes, the amazing music of our local artist, the underground clubs (where all the interesting and hot women are), you didtn’s see shit!,You’re obvioulsy not coming back, but if you ever do let me know and I’ll show you what Uruguay it’s all about. I think that you can’t judge a whole country based on a 5-day stay, but that’s my opinion. Better luck next time dude!

    • rpenn

      Hey, I’ll be hitting up Uruguay soon, let me know where these underground clubs and hot chicks are! my email is, thanks!

    • Ali

      Hey SOL,

      I’m from middles east would like to visit Uruguay and my dream to see to folks there : president of Uruguay as i consider him as the best and honest president on the world and the second one is SUAREZ the best soccer player on the world … i dont drink nor drugs or smoke i want see beach and all the beautiful place there , would you please send some info to my email address at . Many Thanks,


  • juan

    Where did this guy went to??? he doesnt know how to enjoy such a beautiful country like Uruguay!! I love USA but you Gringo, you just came to the wrong city. in summer Montevideo its like a ghost little village. You have to go to Pde or Pdd! if you cant enjoy this little piece of world, you have no life bro!

  • zano

    cuando dice mujeres se refiere a hombres xq debe de ser tremendo amraca

  • Sebastian Blanco

    Hola, lamentablemente no conociste lo mejor de estas tierras. La prostitución infantil y travestis bien vestidos. Te recomiendo que te hagas un enema y vengas con el orto dilatado. Queremos que vuelvas y te lleves una menor con documentación falsa. TE ESPERAMOS!!!

  • Mario

    Que Gringo mas imbécil!!!! Eso te pasa por no saber viajar….si hubieras averiguado bien te ibas a Punta del Este o a La Pederera donde estaban todas las chicas lindas y lo que vos estabas buscando. Igual con lo pelotudo que sos obvio que ninguna te hubiera dado bola….retrasado!!!

    • I want to Punta del Este, dumbass, and it was dead also in December.

      • elfriede perez

        Dear Singledude,

        1-Actually if you would have gone in NYE or january you would already have had at least 20 lon distance relationships
        2-As an Uruguayan i´m pretty offended by you saying that girls aren´t pretty
        3-You don´t even know what your saying. Your brain is in your penis and it is triyng to escape through your urine

        So, lots of love (fuck off)


  • Fatty boom boom

    Well, as you can see.. your ”guide” provoked comments with the typical cheap nationalism I’m used to see over here.

    Anyway…I hear ya about the overpriced stuff here, the tourism industry is kinda shitty here for the most part.
    As for the girls, it really depends on what you call ”bangable”, if you already went to Eastern Europe…we are nowhere near that, also, my impression is that Uruguayan girls don’t take care of themselves as well as Argentinians or Brazilians and are quite provincial by comparison (well, everything is quite provincial here actually).

    Still, the nice, good and beautiful Uruguayan women are out there somewhere, I’ll give some credit for the ones that are. The best advise I can give to anyone is, you need a local friend and things can get way easier. You experience may vary based on many things.

    For the rest of the people who post insulting comments, if you were one bit of the good you think you are, you’d be laughing at this. Only insecure people cannot accept even the slightest critic. You make Uruguay suck a bit more.

  • Diego

    Great article!!.. very funny!

  • Katie

    Jajajaja estas perdido, Uruguay es tremendo país, es muy caro pero para gente como tu es difícil mantenerse acá. La diferencia entre nosotros y Uds. Es q nos sale caro viajar y sin embargo lo hacemos y mucho. Grandes chances q los uruguayshos como decís conozcan más del mundo q tu.

    En cuanto a las mujeres…. Helloooooooo vos te fíjaste lo q son las americanas desagradables q tienen? Gordas, feas, o todas operadas al mejor estilo barbies wannabe. Sin duda te faltaron conocer muchas mujeres de acá.

    Aparte, no se te ocurrió pensar que no se te acercaron chicas las cuales para tus parámetros son lindas porque simplemente no estas a la altura de ellas?

    La comida no será la mejor, pero que me dicen del fast food inventado por Uds.? Ir a comer es espantoso, y te lo dice una persona que fue muchísimas veces a Estados Unidos y east and west clase la conozco entera, probablemente más de lo q conoces vos.

    Conoce y aprende más, me parece q con Uruguay dejaste mucho que desear

  • Alejandro

    You are so right, uruguayan girls and women tend to be dull, dress unappealingly and believe they are the 8th wonder. Maybe its the same stock than argentineans and brazilians, but they put to little effort in their personal care. Maybe having traveled to Eastern Europe has set the bar very high for me. But when I used to travel by bus I alway tried to look for beautiful people on the street, but the trip used to end without any.

  • Fede

    That happens when an idiot comes to Uruguay and stays in Montevideo during the summer (or the beggining of it for all that matters) and expects to find anything or anyone fun to do. Have you heard of Punta del Este or Punta del Diablo? It’s like going to Australia and staying in Canberra cause it’s the capital.

  • Marton

    I agree with you dude. I’m from Uruguay and everything you said is 100% true. But another thing is true, you were in the wrong place to have a party in summer. Montevideo sucks, if you want something good you have to move to the coast (Rocha, Maldonado). I think your travel planing here was very bad. Also, if you want to fuck ladies, you have to learn some things… here is not easy as in your country of whores.

  • pips

    Dude, what we DO have here is a true UNDERGROUND scene, which obviously, you didn’t came across with. In Uruguay there are PLENTY of hot women, and we are well educated, but mostly, we KNOW HOW TO PARTY, (and sorry to be the one to tell you this) but you DON’T. Party for us is NOT spend money in getting a girl drunk so you can have your way with her… thats MEDIOCRE!
    Party, my narrowminded friend, means make love to the night, embrace it, dance your ass off, maybe get lucky at the club’s bathroom and then continuing dancing, then comes the AFTERPARTY, and here most people get lucky, and you have sex, and you have drugs, all kind and high quality (not the shitty paguayan weed you bought on the street to a bum) and you have music, and the party goes on and on, untill is night again.
    So, my guess is you have no fucking idea about anything 🙂 good luck!

    • You have reggaeton clubs there? OR a college drinking scene I’m all about it! !?

  • Nicolás

    SO TRUE!!! That´s why uruguayans go to the US to get easy chicks. My friend… Stop wasting your time and money… Go get some street hookers in Hungary!! That should be your goal, anything tougher than that would be a loss of time for a LOSER like you.

    By the way, I´m single and love to party, and I can´t complain about Uruguay…

    • Nicolás

      By the way, I took the tiis you wearing a maskme to find you in Facebook just to remind you that you are a loser… To my surprise, your profile pic is you wearing a mask!!! After reading your review and given that you can not show your face, I think I know why you need to go to eastern europe countries to get laid…

      Try Russia my friend… With a couple of dollar notes you can be Casanova! That´s what you need.

  • Nico

    Lived two years in Uruguay.. 9 out of 10 hot chicks are from Argentina. I swear almost everything he said is true.Thats why I came back to Argentina. Anyway I have lots of Uruguayan friends… and everyone in Uruguay is very polite.. something we lack in Argentina

  • Santiago Campomar

    1. Un tal “Michael de la Teja” se jacta de que Uruguay es un país RICO y primer mundista… MICHAEL, TE ESTÁN CORTANDO EL BAZOKO CON MAS BOMBITA PICADA DE LA QUE PENSÁS!!

    2. La comida, while not healthy at all, es bastante gustosa, pasa que estos gringos de mierda le ponen agridulce a todo y no saben comer… su plato criollo son las hamburguesas y la carne agridulce, imposible de esperar buen gusto de esos tasteless pieces of shit como se los refiere en The Soprano.

    3. La vida nocturna en Montevideo, lamentablemente, no existe… tiene razón en casi todo lo que menciona de ella.

  • BrianRial

    As everyone else says, montevideo is not the place to get layed, i lived there for 19 years of my life and i coudnt agree more with most you say, it is a grey city and the women are way too histerical about guys, GROW THE FUCK UP WOMEN, you are not as beautifull or interesting as you are showing yourselves. I swear, i would love to buy them all a fucking ticket to europe or even buenos aires so they can see theres so many incredibly interesting and beautiful girls out there who are open to men and are nowhere near to the ICE QUEEN BITCH mode you hold. Seriously WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU, everytime i go out of my country i seem to have no problem hooking up with girls, be that one night stands or even dating girls for weeks, women around the world are receptive to interesting men, but NOT IN URUGUAY, they think all men are retarded (lots of them are) and so they just prefer to put themselves up there as if they were some sort of fucking movie star who is too good for anyone, constantly thinking people around them will call them whores if they are seen with a guy who they havent dated like 10 times. GROW THE FUCK UP, you are dull and boring just as most uruguayan guys are, and youre not even that hot, so if you girls want to keep your fuck rate as it is (which im sure is pretty low and dull) just stay in uruguay forever, seriously, the rest of the world doesnt need you, it has so much more interesting women than you.

    And for those who say all the hot chicks are in the east, well DUH, thats where all the argentinian and brazilian chicks go to! so we cant really take credit for that can we? uruguayan girls can only blend in with their attempts of cheesy looking outfits trying to imitate argentines and their poor makeup.

    I love my country, but this is the honest truth, and to all of you retards insulting this guy, i tell you this, ciego es el que no quiere ver.

  • Fernandulo


  • Emil

    ARE YOU STUPID????!!! Women are not objects for you, fucking man!! I’m from Uruguay, and we don’t nedd asholes like you, so you can go to your fucking country, fucking gringo!!!!!

  • Lucía

    Mediocres son todos los cerdos que han opinado acá olvidando que salieron de una vagina o acaso a uds los cagaron?

    • pablo

      lucia? se nota que no entendiste una mierda de loq el gil este escribi no?

  • Sean

    This post definitely entertained me whether its right or not. I did see some hot girls in the bus station when I arrived in Montevideo today. My impression of Colonia was get me the hell outta here but I know its not the summertime so was a little more dead.

    I’m about to hit this nightlife tonight, Friday, here in Montevideo. Can anyone give me some recommendations on good bars to hit or clubs to go to that have good electronic music? Yes, It would be nice to see some good lookin girls, but I wanna have a good time either way.

    Thanks peeps!

    • Sean

      As a follow, I saw one of the prettier girls I’ve seen in over a year of travel here in Montevideo yesterday. I thought for sure she was from Brazil or Colombia, But nope she was Uruguayan.

      Also last night had a lot of fun in Pocitos with a group of really nice and cute Uruguayan girls that I met there. Is it Brazil or Argentina or Colombia…No, but there are definitely still some cuties here that are super nice and ready to have a good time if you approach with an open mind and no expectations…

    • Mastermind666

      Sean how much are you staying? Since April is treating us well, there is still some movement towards Punta del Este. If you want to go out I presume the best places in Montevideo are “Asia de Cuba” and “Lotus” both pretty near Montevideo Shopping (I tell you this as a reference). If you want to go to pubs, maybe you can go also to that exact same area I mentioned before (there you have an avenue and their surroundings full of mini pubs). Second of all I suggest you guys before asking for advice to say how old are you. Some places are for youth (18 to 24, 25 years old) and others are more for mature (26 and up). I think this is very important unless you are into cougars ;). I hope this information helps you. You can contact me to mastermind666.87 AT gmail if you need anything while still around Montevideo.

  • Pablo Mundell

    Tragasable falopero!!! Si venis con guita te vas a las partuzas de Punta del Este, pero como sos un pelado te fuiste al cante y gane koreano. Andate a Vietnam a comprar championes y a caminar por los senderos de arroz, pichi de mierda

    • soviet

      Loco impresionante metes caraoke a full a full

  • Julia

    You obviously don’t know anything about Uruguay!!! you should read more and go to other places to give these kind of opinions! I agree with you about the prices but THAT’S IT!!! You don’t deserve a country like this, it’s too wonderful for you. REMEMBER TO BE RESPECTFUL, it’s going to help you in life! And I could write a lot more things, but I’d be wasting my time!!! goodbye GRINGO!

  • soviet

    I’m from montevideo and i must say that what you say is the damn true.

  • Majo

    Its funny how you criticise uruguayan chicks for being mediocre while your expectationes and most of your critics are notoriously shallow, but I should accept that recognising our own weaknesses before criticising others is not very usual in people.






  • Anti MARACA
  • Michael de la Teja

    A la pelota, muerto de hambre !! Uruguay es un país para ricos, venís en plan promoción de viaje y queres todos los lujos, raja para Argentina que el dólar está barato.

    Te repito, URUGUAY es un país RICO, mucha plata y todo acorde, esto es FIRST WORLD muachacho !!

  • Javi

    Juaaaa … I just can say: “Stupid gringo”

  • Guille

    I’m kind of torn up about your review….. I do agree that nightlife isn’t the best here, but it isn’t that bad if you’re determined to have fun. As for the girls, it’s true that it’s pretty hard to hook up with one in a club. I would like for that to be different too, but hey, you can’t have everything, right?
    It’s fine that you hated the place, but it’s also true that you went to the wrong place at the wrong time….. Maybe do a little more research next time?

  • Leti

    Ah y una cosa más, realmente me parece patético que exista una página llamada “Guía de Viaje del Tipo Soltero”. Refleja poca autonomía e inteligencia para desenvolverse.

  • Leti

    Primero poné una foto tuya y después te digo porque no levantaste ni las del piso. Saludos.

  • juan vega

    jajjajajaja you gringo got back without banging no human being!!!! Next time get some advice about the country you are going to visit! Rocha and Punta del Este are full of beautiful girls, no guarantee that you will score but you can admire the views!

  • Frederic

    Uruguay bitches (called there putas) are nice, like woman in chair number 36 in picture.

  • Mr. Keosseian

    The woman with Blonde Hair , with black T – Shirt is beautufil

  • Bruno

    Some clueless yanky has came here to get laid and he could not. Then his EGO was destroyed and he write a critical essay that hearts the EGO of others Uruguayan idiots. Idiocy and EGO is the same in the whole planet you idiots, lol, lol, lol, lol !. Some things about MVD are right and others has no sense. I imagine my self in the middle of Alaska in the middle of the Winter in the middle of the Woods asking my self: “USA sucks where are the chicks ?” lol

    • Julio Iglesias

      So, basically there are two types of responses from los uruguayos. 1 – yeah, I’m Uruguayan and I totally agree with you Charlie. Decent, objective, and someone with an open mind. 2 – you stupid American moron, why didn’t you go to the east (when he really did and you desperately need to learn how to read) and I’m glad you didn’t get laid, and go home. Completely emotional response. Charlie hit a soft spot and you people can’t accept it. Truth hurts. Sometimes it’s just better to suck it up and admit when you are wrong. Open that closed mind of yours, read, become informed, and get a clue. You are the same uruguayos that spend the whole day criticizing your country, but heaven forbid some foreigner do it. Gimme a break.

      • Julio

        “I imagine my self in the middle of Alaska in the middle of the Winter in the middle of the Woods asking my self: “USA sucks where are the chicks ?” lol lol, ja ja ja ja ja

    • Nadya

      It does not HURT the ego of Uruguayans, it Is a pity that he puts the whole country down because he could not get laid. He did not do any research before visiting. He went to the wrong place at the wrong time, Montevideo is more of a cultural country, and also more family oriented. Good thing for the people living there, he is not going back. Also, work on your grammar, it sucks

      • Julio

        Of it hurts the EGO of some Uruguayans. The question is why an idiot can hurt your huge ?. Personally i don not give a fuck if he got laid or not. How many people are having sex right now ? so the subject is meaninless !!!

  • Christian

    I lived all my life in Montevideo… and you are right… Uruguayans are not old fashioned, just boring… and there is no places to enjoy the night… from monday to thursday the pubs are almost empty, and all the girls think they are models… anyway… sorry for that… The Shannon is a good place in the “Ciudad Vieja”

  • Bruce

    if you speak three languages you are trilingual.
    if you speak two languages you are bilingual.
    if you speak one language you are an american.

    • Charlie and I both know more than one language, but yes most Americans are idiots and they don’t even speak one language well.

    • bbqchickenrobot3

      Americans aren’t idiots because the majority speak only one language. There is less of a need for us to speak other languages. When the US Dollar is the world currency and everyone wants to communicate with Americans in English there isn’t a sense of urgency to learn a language. BTW – a lot of Americans actually are bi-lingual. Dick face.

    • Juan Andres Falcon

      That was pretty funny

  • Natylo

    First of all, I’m shocked you even gave Uruguay a chance. Most tourists that are around the area completely evade this small country in favor of bigger and more attractive fish.
    Second, I’m sorry you didn’t get a good impression of my little country. But most of what you said, I have to admit, is true. I am a single 24-year-old woman living in Montevideo and I rarely go out to dance clubs and such. When I do, I go out with a bunch of my girlfriends to a gay night club so that we can dance our asses off without having to worry about creeps hitting on us all night long. And yes, the guys here are mostly creeps, especially in the clubs. Most of the women I know would never hook up with a guy she met at a club, because we know they’re all on the prowl for some easy pussy and most of us have to at least like a guy a little if we’re going to sleep with him. Laid-back pubs will prove more fruitful for those in the quest of a one night stand or a small fling, mostly because you can talk and get to know each other while you have a couple of drinks.
    It’s true that this is a crazy expensive place. Even us Uruguayans suffer through it, and it’s only getting worse. That’s also one of the main reasons most of us young folk don’t go out partying; you need a wad of cash to have a decent night out and what’s available isn’t really worth it, at least in my opinion.
    Another truth you’ve stated is that Uruguayan girls, in general, don’t wear much make-up and don’t dress up very often. I don’t know why this is exactly; in my case, I hate wearing even a smidgen of make up and am a jeans and sneakers kind of girl. You won’t ever see me trotting around in heels and with my make up done to the nth degree, simply because I’m very low maintenance. I also don’t have time for all that bullshit, I work 40 hour weeks and have school stuff so I prefer to do all I have to do while being comfortable.
    So yeah, the conclusion is that if you’re looking for easy, glamorous girls, you won’t find them in Uruguay. I love my country because it’s my home and there are a lot of good things to see and try out over here, but I’ve done a little travelling of my own and can’t wait to get out of here….

    • Guille

      Es fascinante lo diferentes que pueden ser las perspectivas. Yo pienso que las gurisas son demasiado cerradas y vos que los pibes son mayoritariamente unos imbéciles (no sé si tenés razón o no pero es medio deprimente que lo pienses). Andá a saber, probablemente la verdad esté a mitad de camino jajajaja

      • Natylo

        jajaj seguramente es un poco de las dos; nosotras somos muy cerradas y muchos hombres no se dejan de joder después de que han sido rechazados. Creo que eso es lo que mas molesta, hay veces que la persistencia rinde fruto, pero en este tipo de situaciones cuando una mina no está interesada no es que se está haciendo la dificil, símplemente no está interesada….

  • Not Uruguayan

    I totally agree! I was living there for about a year for work purposes and It is just stupid to chase a girl and pull her arm all night long just to get her phone number, even if she likes you. I had just one night stand in a hole year and I had to lie a lot.

    The girls who have lived abroad are the ones who are more open minded, and as somebody said the guys are assholes and they like it.

    I got luck a couple of times with foreign girls, once in Punta del diablo I knew an american, but behind the chick I was kissing, was an asshole uruguayan pushing her as if she was her property even after he realized I was with her.

    I just liked Uruguay cause was in the middle of Argentina Brazil (ohhh BRazilllll) and Chile, and I could travel a lot. Punta del Este is nice, but still very overpriced.

    At the end I was used to, and just went behind foreigners. The weed policy is a plus! You can smoke in the street outside the bar and it is ok.

    I totally agree with your perspective

  • Dude, what Raul are you talking about?

  • Eguren del Gol

    Fue a ver a peñarol y le saco fotos a una gorda…jajajajajaj

  • Peter

    Dude, Montevideo is the last part of Uruguay that you should visit during our summer…. All the women go east to Maldonado and Rocha, where the beaches are… You got some shitty advice and instinct…

  • Lola

    Lo que más me enorgullece de mi país es que nadie, pero NADIE haya querido coger con vos. Abrazo.

    • Pablo

      Sublime respuesta

    • Annie

      I have to translate this:
      “What makes me most proud about my country is that ANYONE wanted to fuck you.”

      clap clap


      jajaja terrible lola!!

  • Micky cohen

    hey there, I must say 60% of your statement is true, but I lived here my entire life, and I love Uruguay. The thing is, you’re a single guy wanting to bang someone, we are very old fashioned people, living in a small country… everybody knows each other, everybody knows who you are, what you do, bla bla bla. so you have to preserve your integrity. Im so sorry you found Uruguay such a straggy place! maybe you went out to the wrong places. next time let me know when you’re around and I’ll point you where you should go. I find it a Little boring myself, but you get use to it, people here is very short minded. some of us are not! take care, Micky

  • Reading this made me happy. I’m so so glad Uruguay doesn’t fullfill an American’s standards! It’s a good thing for them to realize all the dumb latin cliches that are stuck on their minds are nothing but that, cliches. Bad thing for them the “dumb American” cliche only gets stronger and stronger everyday.
    I don’t know who would ever think there is a country filled with Adriana Limas, jeez. We are talking serious dumb here.
    And if you want to see hot Uruguayan girls, I could put at least 15 facebook profile links here, in a second. For real. But anyway, I couldn’t take any of this too serious. I’m pretty sure I could fuck 20 smarter and surely hotter guys than this one over here in an hour. And I’m a Uruguayan chick, hey, that’s weird! I’m bangable! It must be my great great grandmother’s Brazilian genes…

    • If you’re an Uruguayan chick how come your Facebook link is “wowbobwow”? Is “Bob” a common name for chicks in Uruguay?

      • Yeah you know, in your facebook link it’s only allowed to put your real name, not a Twin Peaks reference as this one is… Seriously dude, what the hell was that stupid question?

    • thejib

      Thr best advicr i can give to anyone is come live in the oil fields in canda for a year… after that youll actually apprecite girls alot more and you wont be a superfical

      • Pete Pecker

        yep, done north sea oil rigs, When I hit dry land I would do anything with a warm moist hole.

  • Julio Iglesias

    Wow. Such low class responses from so many typical Uruguayan male morons. Sometimes the truth really hurts and your classless responses have shown more about you than refute anything Charlie has said. When someone calls it like it is, and you have no way of refuting it, all you have left are personal attacks that show your own ignorance. You would be doing all of us a favor if you would just fall of the face of the planet so that real classy and beautiful Uruguayan women would be more open to meeting men because all you do is ruin it for the rest of us who don’t have our heads up our asses. The stereotype of a typical Uruguayan male: classless, little to no taste, ignorant, uncultured, and awkward seems to be proven more and more as you douchebags post. Keep it up gentlemen!

    • Pepe Mujica

      It doesn’t hurt too much, and some observations are very accurate. But you can’t stand in the middle of Sahara desert with an umbrella asking where the rain is. Uruguay is not cheap, the food is not so good if you don’t like to eat meat (if you put some BBQ sauce over that meat better buy a hamburger, you don’t qualify for it) and Miami will probably have more open places than Montevideo (perhaps the fact that the city population is just 1.5 MB from 3.2 MB in the country could be related). I also agree that music sucks, but it also sucks in most Latin-American counties. There are lot of places where you can get WIFI and coffee on the beach. If you want to see bikinis you should go to the real beach (east coast) because Montevideo beaches are not at all the best ones. And please don’t go early in the morning because hot girls are probably still sleeping after having 6AM sex with a better looking guy. But if you like Argentinian girls from Miami I can’t imagine where in the whole world you can find more such girls than in January in Punta Del Este.

    • Mastermind666

      I’m from Uruguay, and I guess you guys had a bad time. But you were in the wrong place, at the wrong time! If you really want to get women you should get here only in summer and never, ever, put your feet in Montevideo (unless you have some friends). From the First December, Montevideo starts a slow exodus which finishes before 24th December (but goes on in streaks through the rest of the summer). They are all heading, mainly to Punta del Este, Punta del Diablo and La Pedrera. Some (the less), however, might as well go to Brazil (Río de Janeiro, Buzios, etc.), Mexico (Playa del Carmen, Cancun), United States (California, Miami, etc.). What I’m trying to say is, you lost the opportunity to see them. And even in Punta del Este you can’t stop at any beach, you must know which will be the most popular one for the season. There you can see people partying with Champagne all day. There you can get your coffee or any other thing you might want. But prepare to sell your liver to pay the bill. A small bottle of water can cost you 3 USD (not Evian or Perrier at all) and chivito (like a burger but with meat steak, instead) goes around 16 USD without drink. Also there are secret parties, where alcohol runs free and you don’t have to pay the ticket.

      But I wanted to answer some guys here saying stupid things as Uruguayans behave as Machos… It’s not the reason why women behave the way they do. It’s all related to education, religion (not many following as a religion per se but following the doctrines in some manner, though you also have Opus Dei women which are almost unreachable since they practice their religion rigorously) and morality, which are really near 1920s’ European standards. Women themselves can be considered by other women as sluts or having slutty behavior. That’s why they usually don’t pay attention but others have another reason to do so: they are also all into the looks, they need to check if you are from the same status or not. Don’t worry things are changing though, something has all our society horrified is a big of it: In sweet 15 parties there are not allowed table cloths anymore because girls go down for orals.

      And I had the same bad experience as you did, but even worse perhaps. We arrived to Casa Marina Resort hotel in Key West July 1995, and with a friend of mine left all the luggage in the entrance (we did not even bother to get to our rooms) and ran into the beach and the first thing we said was: were the fuck is Pamela Anderson??? (all were white fatties and all looking pretty old to me). The same happened to me in a Four seasons one year later and in New York (but I have to blame winter and all those tons of clothes you needed for not freezing outside). And also recently happened to me at Philly (last year, my office was in front of City Hall).

      I do really agree Uruguayan women, despite the huge progress they’ve made need to lose it more. That’s why you see less make up, but before, it was almost not used unless you were heading to a pub or something at night, off course.

      And please do not compare us to Argentina or Brazil, they have good looks plus they love to show it all off, the second point is totally the opposite of Uruguayans!

      And something else, I’ve seen you guys say it’s a good strategy going to the shopping mall for hunting. Well in Uruguay this won’t work if you have such high standards because almost (not everyone of course) every single person you find in malls on weekends, are people running from the cold in winter and the heat in summer.

      Good luck next time!

      • Mastermind666

        One more thing, otherwise it sounds as I’m not being objective, eating outside in Montevideo it’s a tough job. Food is crap in almost every place and is expensive. But there are great places to treat you well or for going on a date such as, (here are some in no particular order):

        -Bamboo (the best, Sushi restaurant in MVD, in my opinion of course)
        -Kokoro (Japanese restaurant, please try their green tea ice-cream)
        -Hemingway (the view at sunset and city night, drinks and food are great)
        -Tandory (high level cuisine, the chef itself will assist you in your dish and wine choice. Unfortunately it could cost you 120 USD if you include a bottle of wine)
        -Rara Avis (impressive menu, innovative cuisine, also really expensive)
        -Milajos (another great restaurant which changes their menu offering always fresh food, like wild boar ravioli)
        -La Lupita (real Mexican food and I guess I can confirm this since I lived in Mexico for more than a year)
        -Cake’s (by far the best cakes in Montevideo, also a great place for having tea). I recommend you make things delivered to you instead of going there, the place is beautifully settled but for an 80 year old person.
        -El Italiano (it’s not the best looking place but they have the most fresh sea-food you can find in all Montevideo, and it is pretty cheap)
        -Francis (fancy food for your tongue)
        -La Giraldita (it makes you travel in time into an old styled bar were the only mean of light is the flame of a candle. It offers a small but pleasant menu. And maybe if you are lucky you can win your meal or at least your dessert by playing “El juego del sapo”, which is a traditional game almost in extinction)
        -For ice-cream you must go for “La Cigale” or “Las Delicias”, I know we don’t have cinnamon cones as in Ben & Jerry but rather than that, we don’t have anything to envy them.

        I know there are a lot more places to hang out (Walrus, Asia de Cuba) but since I really don’t know them I can’t talk about them.

        And as you noticed, almost all Uruguayans stick to a Chivito, pasta and pizza (but not the one you know, it’s more similar to Italian) diet, which is really dull IMHO. In a slow pace this is changing for good.

        One last thing that you might find handy:, they don’t have a list of all existing restaurants in Montevideo, but they have a pretty big list and you can even read about reviews done by other users and check the stars which they count with.

        I hope this information helps you out and if any of you guys need a hand, feel free to contact me!

        • Thanks for the tips, I could have used them when I was in town!

        • Julio Iglesias

          All good restaurants, but the whole premise of this is for single guys to travel cheaply and have a good time. Just about all those restaurants are on the pricier side of things.

          And by the way, I am Uruguayan and I live here in Montevideo. My observations were meant for the other pelotudos. You present arguments and show thought. You’re in the minority like me.

  • Pepe Mujica

    At wrong place in wrong month. Most people are waiting and sparing for vacations (usually between January and March) and will not care of any tourist trying to score. All kind of end of year party’s start from November, there is no need to spend your time in a bar. The only place you can get hot chicks is some party at 24th December, but after that Montevideo will be death. December is a good month if you plan to go with your own girl to the east coast and if you don’t want to be surrounded by people. Getting some bungalow or cabin at the beach will be a lot cheaper as in vacation season, but don’t expect to get full services there. The top season is between 1st and 15th January and you will not get any place or car without reservations. You can forget to come to Uruguay between April and September unless you like rain and cold and your favorite color is gray.

  • Nadya

    well clearly your main objective was to get laid, and you are probably as dull and mediocre as the girls you met, so you could not get laid and, as a result… you did not like it. Also, you were not smart enough to do the research before you went, just like everybody else in the world does before travelling, that way, you would have been ready to pay more… Also, research could have helped you find the right places and times to visit. MVD is not Ibiza dude, people work sometimes at the mall or centric stores until 10 pm, go home, get dressed and then, go to the club, they are not going to open them for you at 6 pm, at that time, kids from 15 to 18 are allowed there until 11 pm. Also, MVD is mostly a cultural and family oriented city as the main attractions so, again, research. From January to March you will find restaurants and bars opened until 1 or 2pm, not much after that, because, again, everyone is at the clubs, and old people sleeping. I do not know what you consider a hot chick, but let me tell you..not every Brazilian is like the model you know…believe me…and same thing with the Argentinians… you will find a little bit of everything in BR, AR and UR…too bad you did not like it…too good you are not going back there. I am sure Uruguayans won’t miss a dull, unrespectful American…

    • You can tell when I’m right when people resort to personal attacks.

      • Jaime Ross

        if you thought that was a personal attack, you should go back to school and improve your reading comprehension, I think.
        Her points were all clear.

        • Nadya

          Thank you 🙂
          Hey…let’s give him a break…he is probably planning his next trip to getlaidland. lol

  • Pepe

    Dude, I’m a 22 year old guy from Uruguay and i get you. I had the chance to visit other countries so don’t listen to other angry uruguayans, you are TOTALLY RIGHT. It’s even lame that you could get all this accurate information in just 5 days. The average person age in uruguay is 60+, it’s a country of old people and girls are super hard and boring. And the prices are really high too. Everything you said is sadly true

  • Spitch

    This poor asshole stiffler reminds me, if you want cheap holidays, go to vietnam.



  • Un uruguayo

    Justamente, todo el mundo se va de Montevideo en vacaciones, solo a vos se te ocurre ir al lugar menos turístico del Uruguay en esa época del año. Te tomaron el pelo si te dijeron lo contrario.

    • Si, pero debe ser un bar divertido en la mas grande cuidad del pais, aunque es temporada de vacaciones. No hay un momento aburrido en Miami, por exemplo.

      • yo

        Pobre yanki pelotudo, caer a Montevideo en pleno verano. Arranca para el este la proxima gil!

      • ana

        Montevideo is NOT Miami, not even close. Have no idea why you expected it to be. As many people already said, you should’ve gone to the east coast: Punta del Este, Punta del Diablo, etc, where the fun actually is. Montevideo is not exactly ideal for young tourists, it’s more of a cultural and quiet place, especially during summer when everyone’s gone to the East.
        Lol, Montevideo is dead and almost empty during the summer even for us. You seriously should’ve done more research.

        • I went to both places when I was there. Ghost towns in December.

          • ana

            Yeah, in December the whole coast is pretty much empty still. Not high season.
            In general, Uruguay is a very quiet country with a small town feel to it, so I guess you had the wrong idea about this place. Now, in January it’s a different story, but mosy tourists still appreciate Uruguay for it’s tranquility and peace. Again, not Miami, not Bulgaria. Stop the comparisons. Cheers.

  • Ignorance for export. Reading your words I only can take your disgust about my country and my people as a compliment. You judge what your small mind can’t understand and enjoy. what a sadness to see the reallity with you eyes and understand it with your mind. Condolences.

  • Tatito

    Valor ! Varias cosas para comentarte:

    1- Clima lindo. Enero y Febrero (calor, playa, punta del este y rocha)
    2- Las gatas divinas, casi todas divinas, no son argentinas ni brasileras pero tienen lo suyo
    3- Precio de la cena, donde fuiste a comer? te dejaste robar por turista, ese es tu problema, tenes que informarte antes de viajar, no tenes cancha.
    4- Tenes toda la razon del mundo sobre la hora de los boliches, la joda se arma tarde y por eso no salgo, punto para vos.
    5- Las minas son medio soretas, bueno soretas del todo, pero eso es lo lindo, sino podes ir por planchuscas facilongas que con dos cajas de vino lija y un chori arreglas la cita deseada.

    Me gusta que des tu punto de vista, igual es medio vago y con poco fundamento.


  • John

    I can say just one thing about the writer… “IGNORANT”. If you call yourself a “traveler”, you should research a little more about what to do, where to go, and when, to get some results. Anyways, better than you ignorant american single pathetic guy are not coming any more to try to get our hot girls 😉

    • What hot girls?

    • Julio Iglesias

      Son pelotudos como vos, John, que hace mala fama al hombre uruguayo.

  • Sofia

    Im a single Uruguayan 25 girl, living in Montevideo… and everything you say… it´s true… (besides you came expecting a lot, but thats something Im going to talk later). The coment form Julio Iglesias is just excelentt!!!, and other people just told you you came in the wrong time.

    I dont go to clubs or pubs here, only a few times a year because everything its overpriced, sad, dirty and I dont see the worth in it.
    I hate “cumbias” latin pop, worst music you could ever listen to.
    We dont have even a decent public transportation!!!, (if you dont have a car you need to depend on taxis and somethimes between are dificult to catch on the streets),

    The coast is full of trash, boring, depresed, abandoned, places that could be just amazing!!!. Full off dog shit (and even human shit) no lights, homeless people asking for money everyfucking time!!,

    We dont have even public bathroms we have to pee on the bushes, or behind a wall… men.. just fucking pee everywere!!…
    If not… pay an overpriced beer, on a overrated bar, just to have somere to go to the bathroom.

    And thats just a few examples.. I just could go on an on……

    Everything is so expensive, drinks, foods, clothes, makeup… and even so… if you manage to dress a little bit, and wear a pair of heels… prepare to feel verbaly……. RAPED!!!,

    It never stops to amaze me how this bunch of assholes autocalled “ganadores/winners” have no respect for women. Making fun of you, saying abusive coments of your body, and even trying to touch you!!..
    And its just so damn funny how they insist to describe out loud, how hardly they could fuck you in the ass, if they had the chance…
    (I absolute believe they have sexual disfunction and are just trying to compensate infront of their friends.. but well.. its just disgusting, they dont even look good) …

    Thats a normal social behavior…its “fun” for them.. and you are less than a slut because you dont charge…
    So… try to understand how horrible is to us to feel pretty and kind of have self steem around here when we want to meet some boys…
    I prefer going out with friends, and go to a private party rather than go a “pub”… to meet someone… bacause you have to tolerate this kind of shit on the streets….

    Ahh and btw… you say that women here are ugly, fat and boring??… omg… try to know a normal, atractive, single guy around here that doesnt live with their mother and have at least 2 neurons for sinapsis to talk something rater than tv, football, and the turd they just made last night…

    But well…. basides all that… I have to agree that you didnt travel on the right time… December here is just a horrible time to go out… If you want to meet aceptable, inteligent, idependant, women (that at least takes a shower now and then… no low class chicks you can bang on a daily basis only for beeing foreign).. You have to know that on December we have the test/finnals from college, and 80% of students also work, and that month is just a social MESS around here.

    Summer vacations start on January til´ mids Febuary…. and you have to go to the East… Montevideo is dead at that time.

    Yes we only have 1 and a half month of real summer and “party time”….

    On February you have Carnaval, good parties everywere…. and after that.. its just dead again…… The rest of the month is beach relaxing time 😉

    If you want glamur and high class magazine chicks expectations, go on January to Punta del Este, La Barra, and that kind of places… (you can google it)… but if you really want to know mid-class, inteligent, atractive REAL Uruguayan girls…(and a lot of hippies too) go to Rocha, La Pedrera, Punta del Diablo, Punta Rubia, Barra de Valizas… etc.. and they will be expecting you with a matress of weed, tons of beer and a huge “milanesa” with carusso sauce fries…. oh but wait… you totally hated that…

    So next time.. try not to judge a whole contry with a 5 day travel, and make some internal research… we are NOT a first world country… but if you want to know the best, just make an effort…

    • Thanks, Sofia, and sorry to hear confirmation from you about what a bunch of pigs the local guys are.

    • Julio Iglesias

      Thanks Sofia! I can’t tell you how many countless women here feel just like you do and how I described. Most Uruguayan dudes are classless douchebags and leave a lot to be desired and have ruined it for the rest of us. We have to work way to hard because of it.

    • Uruguayan lady

      I’m an Uruguayan lady living in London and I have to defend uruguayan men because I feel they are only been critizised. I recognize most women don’t like to be say things in the street but other love to be said nice things. After living in europe for almost 12 years now, you can’t image how do I miss los piropos uruguayos, truth to be told sometimes are not nice but quite low, but when they are nice they really make your day and made you feel like a queen. The horrible macho uruguayan that you describe has characteristiques I definitely miss here in Europe, he is confident, he has audacity, he is chicky but yet he is reliable, he is able to fix almost anything with the more rudimentary equipment ‘lo atamos con alambre’, he is not the sort of metrosexual who would spend more time than you in the toilet. Neither needs that you have make up on to be turned on. When he likes a lady he approaches her and she would have little doubts in her mind about whether he likes her because he knows how to make a woman feel special. Those who want to understand rioplatense culture should pay attention to tango. Isn’t it hot? the most sensual dance according to my taste, yes we are used to men who have a plan and who lead in the relationship. Uruguayan guys must be poor, if you are horrorised about poverty you shouldn’t be going to South America, but even being poor they would invite you to what they can afford in a country where people earns a third of what they earn in Europe and everything is so expensive as in Europe if not more (e.g: cars). They are not liers, there are liers like everywhere but not most of them aren’t liers. They are macho but help with the cleaning at home, with the care of the children and respect woman as partners in life and not second class citizens. Before you wonder, I’d tell you I dated Spanish, Italian, German, French, English even Indian and much more citizenships, I don’t have an Uruguayan partner but not because I dismiss them but because we are a very small country and as u can image is not easy to pop into Uruguayan men in London (and I don’t discriminate others). So i consider to have a broad knowledge of men and can say Uruguayan are not at all among the worst. If there were like Indians or italians that there is plenty here in London, no doubt I’d be definitely be inclined to date one.

      If u want to compare Uruguay to Miami, then u are mistaking, Miami is famous for being the place where the best boies are exhibed good for them, but Uruguayan women as the country in general exhibe a natural beauty, they are not into botox, surgery and super production but they are reliable, caring and good partners, and there are hot and ugly like everywhere.

      • Thanks for a nice and honest comment. I agree that in a world of pussy liberal faggots an Uruguaysho boyfriend is definitely a step up.

  • folia

    Have you ever asked yourself why you are still single? 🙂

    • Nope.

    • As you can see from my profile in facebook not because I’m unbangable, as uruguayan women are being described here, I don’t consider myself a quuen of beauty but quite all right. I didn’t know that in the single dude web-site you needed to be married to be able to express yourself! hahaha

  • Ignacio

    Yankie hijo de perra 1) Si no tenes guita, no vengas.
    2) Si querés buscar putas, anda a un quilombo.
    3) Si no te gusta la música “Latina” averigua un poco de la musica de Brasil de donde salió (que me parece que es Latina, digo……)
    4) Si te moves en los peores lugares, no te quejes.
    5) Si te gusta mamar porongas brasileras, anda a Brasil que seguro te van a partir la cola.
    6) “Food Standars”????, right, you eat MC all day, BK, all that fucking shit… (where are those standars??)
    7) “Cheese Pizzas” – Do you like with flavor? Chocolate, watermelon… Maybe semen?
    8) Spicy? – It is from México…
    9) Healthy? Yes, like Mc and BK… (explain me that)
    10) Chicks?? you are comparing that awesome girl with two fat girls… Not even a point of comparisson.
    11) Umbangable? – Like you….
    12) Personality? – Came to me and I will show our personality……
    13) I would continue… But I am going to tell my final answer in my language, Hacete dar por un burro con hipo! Gringo lustrador de porongas!

    • Porque estas tan enojado, Ignacio? Tal vez porque toco un tema sensible?

      • Ignacio

        Tu mama cuando vino toco una parte mucho más sensible de mi… Do you wanna know? hehe

        • Julio Iglesias

          Ignacio, you’re exactly the “pelotudo de mierda” that I have been talking about.

          • Ignacio

            Yoy, Julio Iglesias, love the “microfono” right? Also does you mom…….

        • yo


  • masterOfPuppets

    Hi m8!!! i have some shocking news about your time in Uruguay ….
    Ok here is the deal: We do have hot chicks, we do have good food, we do have good parties!!!!!!, the only thing you don’t know is this:

    We wait for stupid american wankers to arrive to our country, we take his money away, we feed them with rats food, we send them ugly fat ass girls and lot’s of other things that i wont tell you so you can’t sue us.

    Why we do that?, cuz we hate stupid wankers that believes that for the simple fact of being american (north one, you guys should always say North American) and having some bucks can go around the world finding the hotest chick ever, have laid, enjoy holidays with cheap whores and have enough money to go back to your country.

    So don’t come again, you save us some time, and of course, go to Brazil, we all know is paradise, hotest chicks ever, but hey, u need a visa, we don’t XD

  • Someone

    If you think Uruguay is a hidden paradise, where girls are extremely out-going and hot, easy-to-fuck, and that they would be shocked for meeting a foreigner douche… well, think again.

    I’ve been there, and Uruguay is not a country for mediocre travellers like you. If you wanna visit any country, please inform yourself before landing with false and self-imposed expectations.

    Like I said, you only wanna fuck all night with shitty-makeup and E-cup bitches, while you drink like a pig and smoke your weed. So, Montevideo is not your place, tho. But the problem is not a country who likes a more “down-to-earth and peaceful life”, may be the problem is you

  • Mayra (Uruguaya)

    I cant believe this, you have to learn to travel, you come to Uruguay and you didnt have idea about anything, only hipotesis for other countries. If you do that, you have to know how to getting down with the locals. Im sorry you couldnt know Uruguay as well I do, and I´m sorry you wrote this so other people will believe this. You have to learn to travel…
    sorry about my english

  • YourFaceIsTheProblem

    Wish you had posted a photo of yourself… maybe it would’ve help us understand everything.

  • Someone

    Obviously, you know nothing about life -.-
    You went to a country hoping to met an Adriana Lima in every corner, and thinking there would be a bar every 2 blocks? Bitch please…
    If you are a top traveller or whatever you call yourself, you should think it again.

    Montevideo is not Ibiza, and girls don’t wear makeup like any other bitchy girls in your country. That’s so sad, bro 🙁

    Women in Uruguay doesn’t sell theirselves like in other countries, haven’t you thought of that? And a word of advice, most girls wouldn’t date with douchebags like you 😉 That’s another reason why you’re putting so hate on this place.

    For what I read in your guide, you’re like a typical “Plancha”, which so many Uruguayan people hate… So let’s face it, Montevideo is not the best place for a “pajero” and “plancha falopero” like you, who only wanna hook up hot girls while you have a “cara de pancho”. But you forgot to mention that in your review

    • Care to translate your stupid slang for us gringos, you name calling douche?

      • Mastermind666

        1) “Plancha” is a (as I define it) low life group of individuals, which live in very humble neighborhoods, as similar as to brazilian “Favelas”, they listen to “cumbia” (I guess you already discover how it sounds). Most radical ones will dye their hair to yellow (yes, not blonde) and will have at least one plastic earing which imitates a diamond (and nope, its not even zirconium). They wear only Nike, Puma or Adidas clothes, including and mandatory, a cap. Little to none good education, not at all manners and are against the police. They can annoy you with their cellphones because, they go playing music (cumbia, what else) on the streets or on the bus.

        2) “Pajero” = wanker, jerk, jerk-off. I think it might be clear now

        3) “Plancha falopero”, I already explained “Plancha” so “falopero” it’s a despective way of calling someone a drug addict instead of just calling it “adicto”.

        4) “Cara de pancho”, It’s used mainly by new generations (I’m 34) and it’s a way of calling someone his looks evidence someone stupid. Like calling someone Turd face or similar.

        Take notes because theses are also used in Argentina

        • Thanks for the translation, it’s good to know which 3rd grade insults these guys are using on me.

  • Matias

    You should have gone to the east of the country in that month, not to the capital, dumbass ignorant fuck

    • I did, I went to Punta, and it was a ghost town. There is nothing to do in Uruguay in December. Truth.

    • Julio Iglesias

      Matias, thanks for the insults. Just proves the point about typical Uruguayan guys. This country has a very odd and very close minded social scene. Just about everybody knows it. And thanks to pelotudos like you it is what it is.

  • Sebtraveler

    Man, what is wrong is your expectations. You seem to me much more mediocre than anything you mention, if your life spins around those interests… You seem like the kind of guy who needs to pay to have sex…

  • Patricio Brum

    Dude, you came to Uruguay and you only visited Montevideo?¿?¿ And you say you are the “single dude´s life holy guide”??? Next time do some research and travell east.

  • ssdssa

    its a city, not a cheep whore house, for that u need to look for another place

  • Natalia

    I’m Uruguayan and most of what you say is true, but you’ve been in the wrong place for the season, which makes things worse :).

  • co

    pegate un tiro…

  • Lucky Strike

    Going to Montevideo in Summer is like visiting a ghost town. Everyone´s either travelling abroad or at holidays in the eastern coast of Uruguay.
    But if you visit Punta del Este by January, February or March, you´ll be astonished. It´s kind of Saint Tropez, but not half as fun as Ibiza.

  • Gonzalo

    Hi! ^^, I´m from Uruguay and after reading the whole thing i have only one thing to say to you: YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT!
    Chicks: 1 in 10 is actually “hot” (leaving personality out of the scale), and 9 in 10 behave like bitter old ladies that believe they are hot.
    Partying: well… mostly during summer and, not focused on the capital city, you gotta go east (Punta del Este, Rocha, Etc.)if you wanna party and gotta have a load of cash. (And this places are thick with tourist chicks, so there are your hotties)
    And yes, it´s really expensive here, even we suffer that.

    So, if you have money to spend you can have a fair share of fun. (nothing that would blow you mind though =/)

  • Lola

    Maybe next time you should get some company and get to the real thing… Being in a country you don’t know all by yourself is just so sad dude… hahahaha.

  • Matias (uruguayo)

    Do you know something about Candombe? Did you see the drums on the streets? and the girls dancing there?
    You have to learn my friend… you have to learn.

  • Patricia

    I am so glad my country repelled you!

    • delbetu

      I am uruguayan and everything is true.

      • YourFaceIsTheProblem

        Jajaja y porque no te vas entonces !! Por favor…

  • Andy Forster, 22

    Wrong place, wrong month. You should’ve gone in January, and not to Montevideo. I don’t know what’s more astounding, the fact that you’re so ignorant as to disqualify a whole country for your lack of research or well, the latter fact itself. Anyone who has even half a sober and conscious braincell knows not to go to Uruguay in December.

  • I_love_Lucia

    Hey guys I dont know about Montevideo nor Uruguyan girls in general,
    but I have got a very nice Uruguyan girlfriend, and really she is damn hot, and the best lover I could imagine…
    Very easy going and fun, tall 176cm, DD (silicone) boobs, angel face, with no taboos. I may have treated her quite bad sometimes but she was very forgiving, and full of love. I met her in London, and our first date was already very hot.

    I think you may have been unlucky in Montevideo or you just dont know how to pick girls ! learning some Spanish and learning to be a gentleman might help you dude !

    • Well, looks like you got lucky, dude. Hot Uruguayan chick in London, those are some long odds.

    • Tato

      In fact, Uruguayan girls that takes “the risk” to live out of this shitty country are better than the ones that stay here, fat ugly conservative seals….

  • Christian

    I can’t comment in Uruguay because I haven’t been there but I once had the chance to date an Uruguayan chick for a while and having a quite varied and broad international experience with women (including babies from the 5 continents) I can say she was the hottest, funniest and most down to earth girl I ever dated. I had the best sex ever, but also great conversation, and an incredible conection. Unfortunately, she went back to Uruguay eventually… Probably I found the exception that confirms the rule but she wasn’t hippy or dull at all… Very fit, classy and passionate!

  • Thanks for the heads up dude.. obviously its no paradise or you guys wouldn’t be debating it.

  • Costa Rica, Guatemala, Argentina, Brazil, Mexico. Uruguay is probably to be avoided.

  • Miguel Jagger

    totally wrong time to go, the time to go to Uruguay is JANUARY and you go straight to Punta del Este, there ain´t no other town in the planet that looks as close as heaven than that. The girls are the most beautiful in the world, no doubt, most of them are from all over the world and also very high class. Lots of clubs and restaurants, parties at the beach…don´t bushwalk me bushmeister

    • I know, dude, but I was there in DECEMBER and the place was fucking dead. What kind of lame-ass-country only parties one month a year?

      • YourFaceIsTheProblem

        What kind of jerk travels and doesn’t know how to!

      • Bruno

        I agree on many things you said about uruguay. In fact, I live in Uruguay. It’s too expensive, January is “The Month” and local chicks are not as hot, smart and outgoing as those from Brazil and Argentina. It’s true that you must go out at 2 am, and people do not use to go out after work, i mean, what people may call “go out on an after” does not exist in uruguay, I met some argentinian people that came to Uruguay and complained about that.

        (English is not my native langage, I hope you understood)

    • Tato

      If there is something you WONT find in Pta. del Este is Uruguayan ppl just because is too expensive and reserved only for rich foreigners (dont get me wrong, there are also a few rich uruguayans that go to PDE, the other ones go to work hahaha lame ppl)
      For instance the “beautiful girls” are Argentinians …..sad and true story for us we have some kind of “Willy the whale” in each block

  • Xavier

    No way! Montevideo is awesome if you know good enough Spanish to communicate.

    • You need to get out more if you think MVD is awesome, dude.

      • YourFaceIsTheProblem

        Again… talking only because it’s free. That’s lame.

  • WorldTraveler

    Ahhh Punta, Punta, Punta del este! Truly a gem in south america. I saw some really hot talent at the conrad hotel. That’s the nicest hotel in town. That whole area goes wild when the elite of Argentina and Brazil go there to party. Its like the monaco of south america. Love that place! Montevideo is the capital of Uruguay. So, I was inevitably there before my trip to Punta de este. They have these luxury buses that are comfy that will take you straight there. Beautiful scenery to look at as well on the way. It was cool. But, the food sucked! Meat and cheese with no flavor what so ever. Really strange.

  • Alana

    I agree with most of this article. Pretty pricey (and only getting worse) and not much going on. However, that shouldn’t steer everyone away from visiting. One of the reasons you may not have took to Uruguay is because it’s not very touristy. This is due to its competitive location (next to Argentine and under Brazil) so it generally gets overlooked. You don’t have bars on the beach and crazy tourist parties- but some people prefer to go on vacation and meet locals, live the way local people live. It would be like people coming to the states and visiting the midwest, for example. Not much going on, but your vision isn’t clouded by typical touristy things- you can really see how people live in the capital… not everyone’s idea of vacation, but some would surely enjoy it…

    That being said, totally agree with “Big in Japan”. Punta del Este is the place for you Charlie, if you want to meet the hot chicks. Careful- it’s expensive. My favorite place, Punta del Diablo, is another place you should see. It isn’t insanely expensive and has a completely different relaxed, almost bohemian feel (if you want to connect a little more with nature, but I can only assume that you may prefer to connect with something else…)

    Oh, and the unbangable girls…. may be true…. but is hard-to-get really a bad thing…. Also, just out of curiosity, what is your idea of attractive? I am a little confused, only because (in my opinion) the women in Uruguay are beautiful and very fit. If you’re looking for something incredibly “exotic-looking” you may not find it in every woman, but in general- very beautiful.

    • I went to both Punta del este and Diablo as well and will eventually have articles on them when I quit being so lazy. When were you there? My issue with the chicks, other than the shocking rate of obesity, was that they don’t wear makeup, nor nice clothes, and generally just have a lack of sex appeal physically and personally. The raw materials are there but there’s just something missing.

      • Big In Japan

        I agree with Charlie’s assessment of Uruguay’s women. They lack a little make up and they all dress like hippies. But Punta Del Este is a different story. Their you are talking about the rich of the rich among Brazil and Argentina’s females. From what I witnessed they were all put together well, even the bartender’s and server’s were hot everywhere we went.

        Punta Del Diablo is a total surfer town. I think I remember Lonely Planet saying there was no bank machine in the whole town. We brought a bunch of cash and just slept on the beach a few nights. If you are really roughing it and want to just surf and drink then this is the place for you. But bring your own pussy because you will not be getting any their.

  • At least there’s weed!

  • Big In Japan

    Great site. Just wanted to chime in quickly about Uruguay. I was their around New years last year with my girlfriend at the time. I agree that Montevideo is a little pricey and not a heck of a lot going on it seems like. However if you hop on a bus and take a quick ride east you will find paradise on the coast.

    The little town is called Punta Del Este. Not sure of the population, maybe 10,000 or so. But for New Years and a lot of other occasions that place is packed with hot Brazilians and Argentinians. Also it is one of the top 10 places in the world to surf. It is pretty pricey, so hostel is recommended.

    Great party town though. I never had fun with my ex when we went out back home in Canada, but we both had a blast together when we were down their. To save money they have great little stands and stores that sell fresh baked goods, such as meat pies and rolls which are cheap. Partying starts late, so grab a couple bottles and hit the beach with everyone else before you go clubbing.

  • I second you on Asuncion, Antonio, especially as regards the chicas. But I have two problems with Paraguay: it’s hundreds of miles to the ocean, and (at least when I was visiting) they’re tight-assed with visas to gringos.

    The Paraguayan Embassy in Washington, DC sold me visa after visa that was only good for 90 days. That’s fine if you’re going to Southern Cone for the winter, but it’s a three-leg, overnight flight to ASU from DCA.

    As for the ocean thing, I sail, and I can see myself living some day on the Rambla in Pocitos, across from the yacht basin….

    • Antonio

      Beijaflor you could try to get residence in Paraguay…:-). Its not difficult and there is no income tax.

  • Antonio

    If you are still around in SA you should try Asuncion…

  • Paul Murray

    Come to Australia, dude. It’s a bit late in the year, now, but December/January – come to Australia. If you are ok with the weather and spiders in Brazil, there’s nothing here that will make you break stride. I’ll buy your book on kindle, I swear.

  • Julio Iglesias

    Hey everyone.  First off, great site and Charlie is right on in his observations.  I’d love to take the opportunity to shed even more light on the situation in Montevideo.

    Women in Uruguay have had to learn to protect themselves from the typical Uruguayo.  Although any stereotype leads to a minority that breaks the rule, I can say without a doubt that most Uruguayos are pseudo macho pig slobbering douchebags.  They really have no idea how to treat a girl.  It’s so normal for guys to stand a girl up without any notice and then a week later call or text message to set up a new day to go out.  Then on top of that, a hotdog and beer at one of the typical chain restaurants is the normal place to go before he tries to get in her pants.  If you know how to treat her right; wine and dine her and you will have the promise land shown to you very easily.  She might even want to be the mother of your children!  

    Secondly, as a cause of the shittyness of the typical Uruguayan moron, most of the classy, smart, and beautiful women don’t go out at night to the clubs, and if they do, it’s with a girlfriend or two and with the plan of ignoring all semblance of the male species because let’s face it, 90% are complete idiots.  So that leaves the remaining 10% who deserve it the task of working WAY too hard to even get her attention.  It just isn’t worth working that hard.

    Best bet is to be a friend of a friend of a hot classy babe and get a reference from the friend.  That makes life easier and opens a lot of doors and possibly a few legs.  This is where I’ve had the most luck.

    Again, there is always an exception to the rule and I have had great experiences outside of the before mentioned, but….

    Here in the southern tip, Brasil is the promise land, gentlemen.  Ah Brasil….the memories.

  • JULZ

    Shocking! Depressing!!! I met some Uraguay hippies, while partying in Florianopolis, Brazil. I’d have had no idea the country was so mediocore. Thanks for the report. Nice save.

  • Lumiere

    I went to this place twice.

    First time I had the same experience described here.

    Second time I just spokeo local people only to find out the best bars. Ended up a really cool bar that spilled out on to the street with tons of guest DJs. Fairly gay friendly place.

    Picked up a stunning local girl, maybe the hottest girl I picked up in S.America, who was there with a gay male friend.

    We went out the next night (my second night in town) just the two of us and after showing around some other cool spots that are not mentioned in any nightlife guides we ended up in a love hotel all night. I had a blast.

    Like most places its a question of throwing lonely planet and website recommendations and getting down with the locals.

  • Thank god, i’m not the only one who had a rough time there. It was one of the few South American countries i didn’t get my flag. I couldn’t find anything decent to go out there and ended up at some Cumbia clubs down town. Its was packed with poor people and absolutely no one spoke English. My Spanish is good enough to game girls so i had a big problem there. A make out with a mediocre girl was all i got.

  • mate01

    Anything better than American chicks is OK in my book.

    • Yes, but if you have vacation time and can get out of America, you can do much much better than Uruguayan chicks.

  • Elijah Craig 18

    Wow. Very disappointing news. The prices don’t sound terrible, but much higher than they were in the mid 2000’s after the banking crises. A quick check of the CIA World Factbook shows “official” inflation running at 6.7% in 2010 and 7.1% in 2009. It appears Ben Bernanke’s policy of exporting inflation to the rest of the world is working well. From your report on the women, it also sounds like the Uruguayan Peso isn’t the only thing inflating.

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