As part of Single Dude Travel’s ongoing commitment to keeping you healthy and successful while also helping you get laid, I’d like to convince you macho single dudes to go to yoga class. We’ve already discussed how real men go to the Farmers’ Market, now it’s time to enter the land of yoga mats and leotards.
I know, I know, it sounds pretty gay. I mean, you’re just stretching, right? And there’s a 65-year-old grandmother in there! We’re men, we don’t do yoga! Wrong. Now I’m just like Hank Hedgehopper in that I love doing things at the gym that are hard and awesome, like slamming a sledgehammer into an old tire a bunch of times in a row and lifting super heavy weights while letting out a high decibel bellow. Don’t get me wrong, I like being a manly man. But one must be well-rounded in one’s fitness, just as in life, so doing that all the time is not a good idea.
So sometimes I go to yoga class. I know, it’s mainly chicks, so you think it must be easy. Do not be fooled, yoga is not, especially for someone like me who isn’t super flexible. You have to stretch and then hold your body in difficult positions for a long time, all while keeping your breathing going. Yoga will kick your ass when you first start.
There’s several types of strength that you need to stay healthy, and flexibility is definitely one of them. Flexible people avoid injury better, recover quicker when they do get injured, and move around the world much easier than musclebound. Let’s face it, none of us are getting any younger. As I’ve moved into my thirties, I’ve realized that the goal in the gym should not to get huge, as fun as that would be, but to get in the kind of shape that maximizes your success in all life and maintains your body as you age. Specifically my fitness goal is to be as pain-free as possible, so I don’t feel like shit every time I get off a long haul flight.
This is what yoga is good for. It gets you in balance. It really works your core, which is the center of all movement of the body. Without a strong core, you can’t have a strong body. It also loosens you up and makes you more limber, allowing you to move much more pain-free through the world. Yoga also has mental benefits the breathing and meditative quality of yoga work is good for brain health and gives you better impulse control, which basically makes you come through in the clutch better. Chicks dig guys who are clutch.
Oh, that reminds me! Ever notice that yoga class is filled with chicks? That is the other main benefit. Most yoga classes hardly ever have any dudes in them, so it’s a great place to go pick up health conscious and limber girls with great asses. Charlie loves limber girls with great asses. Come to think of it so do Boris and Raul! I guarantee you, a trip to the yoga studio presents much better odds than the club, where there’s a bunch of douchebags and fagbagsters to compete with for the attentions of a bunch of teenage coke sluts. Yoga girls can sometimes be a little hippieish, but I don’t mind that, and a lot of them are just regular career girls who don’t really have time to go out during the week.
Yoga is really a great place to kill two birds with one stone and pick up chicks while getting healthy. So give it a shot, go try a class. Most gyms have free yoga classes so that’s a good place to start. Just show up early and chat some cute yoga girls up, try to survive the class as best as you can, ask them out for smoothies after, and you’ll be doing the Downward Dog in no time. Namaste!