Life these days is difficult, and there is a lot that the single dude needs to spend his time and energy on, like staying healthy, having a good business plan, good investments, avoiding tyrannical governments, paying college debts, finding health care, and avoiding ladyboys. The average single dude has enough to work against in the world and therefore his relationships should not be a further drain on his mental and emotional resources. Simply put, a good relationship is an easy relationship. So why doesn’t that chick understand this and stop trying to fight with you about completely unimportant crap all the time? Because you let it happen.
Fighting accomplishes nothing, and you don’t need to do it to have a good relationship. I don’t know why I haven’t written this article sooner, because the realization of this has made my relationships go much more smoothly the last several years. There are three key points that will make the single dude have the relationship he wants.
1. Set the ground rules clearly and consistently at the beginning of the relationship.
Communicating what you want early in a relationship is of paramount importance. Women will take what they can get and if you let them get away with something early they will think it is acceptable behavior. Remember when your new woman first did something you didn’t want her to do, like showed up uninvited, started a fight over nothing, interrupted important work for something trivial, belittled you in front of your friends, or made you apologize for something you didn’t think was wrong? That’s not a isolated incident, it’s a critical moment for you. It establishes a precedent. Just like English common law, once that precedent is in place it will take exponentially more work to undo.
In relationships, it is very very important to set the boundaries of your relationship at the beginning. If you don’t want to spend every night together for the duration of your relationship, you can’t spend every night the first week together. If you want to be able to go out with your boys, the first time she seems to have a problem with the idea, you must go out with them anyway. She’ll get over it. If you cave on a point that is important to you at the beginning, you will lose that point forever unless you do an enormous amount of backtracking. To use a couple of common aphorisms, an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure, and if you give a woman an inch, she will take a yard (that’s approximately a meter, for those of you readers in the rest of the world not still stuck on the retarded American measurement system).
2. Don’t apologize or act otherwise guilty for doing something that isn’t wrong.
How many of us have had this horrible situation of being confronted with an out of control emotional girlfriend or wife bitching or crying about something that we supposedly did that wasn’t wrong at all? You didn’t call to say you’d be 20 minutes late home because you were busy saving your business from going down in flames? You had coffee with a woman you dated 10 years ago in college? You yelled at her dog for putting its paws on your chest? Good, that stuff is all ok, regardless of what she thinks. So don’t apologize. Have some integrity. Right is right, and wrong is wrong, and her subjective emotions do not change that. The most famous example has got to be the toilet seat thing. What the fuck is with chicks and the toilet seat? We have to lift it up to take a leak, they put it down to do so, so why do we have to leave it down? “Well, I don’t want to try to sit down and end up in the toilet bowl.” What? Are you so retarded that you can’t look at the toilet before you sit on it and see if the seat is up or down? We look before we leak, why can’t you? And chicks get so indignant about it; some can be downright abusive and accuse guys of being jerks for this. This is because guys put up with this nonsense and have been apologizing for leaving the seat up for years, and now chicks use this as a power play.
If you apologize and admit guilt for shit that you’re not guilty for get ready to be always the one to blame whenever she is unhappy. I’m not saying be a jackass and never apologize for anything, I’m saying only say sorry when you screw up. Otherwise you must not react with anything other than 100% confidence that you’re in the right. Sometimes chicks know when it’s ridiculous and that you shouldn’t apologize and use this as a test of your manthority. You think they’re attracted to some wussy kiss-ass? Think again. Stand your ground, but don’t fight about it, it validates their position. Which brings me to point #3:
3. Don’t fight.
Oh, those long sleepless nights I used to have, staying up until the wee hours fighting over some long forgotten trivial shit with long ago dumped girlfriends. What an unbelievable waste of time and energy, and for what? have you ever had a fight with a girlfriend that resulted in you getting more of what you wanted from a girlfriend? Probably not other than some good makeup sex from time to time.
Fighting with a woman is one of the worst ways to spend your time and the most ineffective ways to accomplish any positive change in a relationship. First of all, an upset woman rarely has the ability to listen to any reason, and so even if you “win” the fight you lose the war. The next week when you fight again, the old fight will inevitably be rehashed, except you will both have totally different recollections of what happened. She’ll say, “You asshole, you said this”, and you will realize that nothing you said in the last fight was understood and you wasted the night before your big presentation arguing for nothing.
Put simply, you can’t communicate very effectively verbally with a woman during a fight. So I don’t bother, and it works perfectly. Instead I use body language to get a woman to treat me the way I want to be treated.
People subconsciously want to feel good, and you can use this principle to your advantage. The principle is to do things that make her feel good when she does things you want her to do and when she does things you dislike, withdraw those good feelings. Simple, right? So what this means is when she is nice to me, I am nice to her, and vice versa. Bring me a beer or sandwich or say something supportive and teamish? Then I’ll squeeze her shoulders, give her a big kiss, and say thank you. Say something bitchy? I won’t say anything bitchy back, I’ll just turn away a bit but otherwise act like I didn’t hear it. If a girl tries to start a fight, I’ll just get up and go into the other room for a vaporizer hit, or go check my portfolio, or go take a leak. The when I come back if she does something nice, I make a real point to be nice.
I’m telling you dudes, it works like a charm. After you practice it a bit, you can do it without her really even noticing it consciously. Her subconscious will feel it, and she’ll start to realize how good she feels when she’s being good to you. Never fight, always win.