Dude, this girl is perfect. Smart, hot, cool, fun, legs for miles, perfect boobs, great job, super nice, the whole package. I see why we got on a plane and came all the way out here to Riga, just to meet a girl like her. We really hit it off when we met at the coffee shop too, and after we sat and talked for hours I knew she was exactly the kind of girl that fit my definition of perfect. I’m totally in love right now. But then I asked if she wanted to meet me for drinks this weekend and she said what many would consider the worst four words in this situation:
“I have a boyfriend.”
Now normally one would consider this an enormous disappointment, but I’m not worried. And no, I’m not going to try to bang her anyway this weekend. The thing is is that I really like high quality, classy women. What doesn’t really fit that description is a chick who will go around on her boyfriend and bang some other dude she just met who is in town visiting for the week. You wouldn’t want her to do that if she was your girlfriend, right? So instead, I’m going to get her contact information, stay in touch and just wait. While she’s hanging out with her totally nice, in-love-with-her-just-a-little-too-much boyfriend I’ll go out with my teammates and we’ll find some other hot bar chicks and party with them tonight. And Future Ex-Charlie Bushmeisterova? I’ll just get her Facebook and watch and wait.
Real quality girls are rarely single for long. Especially in Western countries with a very low percentage of non-obese, non-entitled, non-bitchy, non-retarded cool women, the good ones tend to get snapped up pretty quickly and spend minimal time single. So when I meet a really high quality girl who I find out is unavailable at the time, it doesn’t bum me out because I realize that it’s probably just a temporary situation. The chances of Miss Dreamgirl marrying and living happily ever after with her current boyfriend are very small. Be patient.
Same when you have a girlfriend. Ever been in the situation where you have totally nice quality girlfriend and you happen to notice how hot and cool and smart one of her girlfriends is also? And you want to bang her friend? Great, suggest a threesome. OK, that didn’t work, fine. Don’t go for it yet. Keep your totally acceptable girlfriend, treat her great, make sure to rock her world in bed (because she will definitely, 100%, tell her friend about it, that’s great advertising) and just be a friend to Hot Amiguita. Counsel her in her boyfriend problems. Introduce her to other guys. Even if you get drunk together, don’t do it. Be patient. She’ll come around your way eventually when you’re both single, and since she knows already what a quality guy you are it will be super easy when the time comes.
Sometimes now is just not the right time. Maybe it’s something else, a family issue, a work/school thing, or you live on the other side of the world at the time. Be patient, and be the right kind of guy and you’ll get your opportunity eventually. Things change. Just wait, and keep the pilot light lit.
Keeping the flame lit is the other component to this strategy. Patience is useless if you lose contact and she forgets about you, or vice versa. You have to keep up just enough contact so that you stay on her radar. Thanks to the wonder of modern technology this is super easy. An email just to say hello every three to six months seems to be all you really need to do to accomplish this. Facebook and Skype are great for this and many girls are so kind as to notify the world the moment they come back on the market.
This is a major concept that I’ve learned as I’ve gotten older. Patience. Sometimes it’s taken years of waiting for the right time with a girl to come along. It’s okay, because I always have plenty of irons in the fire, and some of those little investments are coming to maturity all the time. Just stay calm, stay cool and remember, life is a marathon, not a sprint. Stay cool and don’t force things. Then when opportunity knocks, go for the kill.
An anecdote from Boris:
Perhaps my longest ever work in progress (WIP) was a beautiful Spanish girl I meet at the tender age of 22 (she was 19) while I was studying abroad for the summer. Sure enough she had a boyfriend back home in Spain. Naive 22 year old Boris was heart broken. The pain was somewhat mitigated by hooking up with a hot Russian girl, but that is a story for another day. Long story short, we kept in touch by e-mail no more than once every six months – sometimes longer. After five years, out of the blue, I received an e-mail from her asking if she could come visit me for one month. The rest is history, I don’t think I have to tell you that we did many things together during that month not the least of which was cooking to bang!