It’s all in the eyes… and the ass

Big AssThere she is. The one you have been looking for. She is all the way on the other side of the room. Her eyes… they call you over. As you make your way, you never let your gaze waver. Closer… closer… clo… Holy shit. What a huge ass. I mean gargantuan. Damn it!

Have you ever been driving in a car and been convinced that the chick driving next to you is hot? She just has those eyes that say, “Bang me solid for a week.” Then, have you ever seen her get out of her car and the whole chassis raises a foot? That was no lo’ rider. That is a fat chick. This kind of thing happens to men every day all over the world.  You just have to remember to not always be fooled by the eyes.

Let me start by saying ¡Raul! is and will always be a sucker for a beautiful set of eyes. Women always want to look at mine and if I see a great set, I can’t help but return the stare. ¡Raul! always thinks that if you are to see someone consistently, you need to be able to look at their face and eyes. So much can be communicated with the eyes. Why do poker players wear sunglasses? Because eyes are one of the biggest tells. Even great actors can convey any emotion with just their eyes. Women love it if you think they have great eyes and tell them. It is the ultimate ice breaker. No woman will turn down that compliment. At least not after you catch their eye, smile and then compliment. Women can live off of water and compliments. It has been proven by many scientific studies.

But what do we look at next after they eyes? Boobs? Hands? Feet? Legs? No. Go straight to the ass. The ass can be a major ‘poker tell’ just like eyes. What does she think about her figure? Is she wearing tight pants that show off her ass or is she wearing sweatpants that say Princess on the butt? If the answer is the former, then you are on track. If it is the latter, you are in Wal-Mart. Just get the protein you came for and leave. What does a huge ass mean? Well, it can mean a few things. She has no discipline. She has no self respect. She has low self esteem. Or, she might just like black dudes. You might just want to walk away from any of these situations right now, unless you are a black dude. And if you are, brother, dive in.

If you are talking to a twenty to thirty something year old girl with a huge ass, you must remember, at this point it ain’t gettin’ any smaller. From here on out it is this size or bigger. Now, don’t get ¡Raul! wrong. ¡Raul! like some ass.  More than any of his Team for sure. But, there is a difference. A latina that has a small waist and a round ass is going to look awesome with her clothes off and especially from behind. You must not walk away from this type. There are many Nubian Princesses out there that also have round asses that are firm as a $10 mattress. Do not walk away from them either. Jump into that with reckless abandon. I would say just be wary of white girls with big asses. Especially American chicks. They do not have the discipline to change unless they get pulled onto The Biggest Loser with their mom. This situation is a rare one. So rare they televise it. I would liken these girls to mermaids. They can be totally hot on top, but there is nothing below for ¡Raul! Jr.

A girl’s eyes can tell her past, but her ass my friend, is a crystal ball that sees the future. Find the perfect combo of a nice ass and beautiful eyes and you go to town on that. Stay with the hourglass figure. Stay away from the eggs and the pears.

And just remember, if you are drunk, all bets are off and you can do whatever you want. Just make sure she is not a lady boy with a big ass!

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