Rant: Models are just walking coat hangers

Super ModelsI don’t know what this has to do with Single Dude Travel, but Charlie says he loves rants, so here it goes. Models are just walking coat hangers! This is a topic I love to rant about because over the years I have had the pleasure (or displeasure, as more accurately may be the case) to work with a lot of models, including those on the international “super model” level. Actually, on second thought, this topic may have some tie-ins to Single Dude Travel, so bear with me.

Models should earn minimum wage and not a penny more. Why? Despite what some douchebags in the fashion industry might have you believe there is no real special skill required to be a model. Sure you need some special physical attributes such as beauty and a slim build, but other than that you really don’t need much. Basically you have to be hot. It’s not even true that you have to be outrageously tall (although it helps if you want to do runway) – there have been some “super models” that are only 168 cm (5’6″), although admittedly that’s not the norm. However little skill is required to be a runway model, due to Photoshop and creative lighting, there is even less skill required to be a print model. You don’t even have to be hot or super thin for that! Don’t believe me? Check out this Dove commercial called “Evolution”, it’s a surprisingly accurate portrayal of the way this industry really works behind closed doors:

Basically every professional photo you have ever seen is a huge fraud. It’s surprisingly easy to take a complete disaster and make her look totally hot in print. Even without Photoshop, a professional makeup artist can work wonders. But I’m digressing here, let me get to my beef with models and why I’m so personally incensed by how much money they make because it does tie-in to Single Dude Travel. Whatever minimal skills and talent they possess are not rare. Anything that costs a lot should be rare. Hot chicks are not rare. Even tall hot chicks are not rare. If you live in the US you might feel like tall hot chicks are rare but trust us, once you start traveling you’ll figure out that they’re not. If you’re in Eastern Europe in any major city it’s pretty much impossible not come across 4 or 5 chicks per day that are every bit as hot as your favorite super model (I don’t care who she is). But here’s the thing, they’re actually hotter, guaran-fuckin-teed! You are seeing these chicks in person – if you saw your favorite super model in person she absolutely will not look as good as she does on TV, in movies and in magazines. That’s just how it works.

Now all of these gorgeous super model quality Eastern European chicks you’re going to run across will not be making millions per year just to stand around and look good, they won’t have a $500 an hour personal stylist helping them to look good by applying hundreds of dollars of cosmetics to their bodies. They probably study and work in some shitty corner store for $2-$3 per hour while they try to pay their way through their masters degree while living in some cramped apartment that they likely share with their parents and/or grandparents. These girls are smart, beautiful and sweet whereas your typical model is a strung out coke slut who cannot string two sentences together.

Where is the law of supply and demand in this equation? Why is it possible to earn millions being a model? Fuck that, why is it even possible to earn $20 per hour being a model? I don’t understand. Every career model I’ve ever met is a complete retard. From the wannabe level up to the true supermodel level. Let me clarify what I mean when I say “career model” here though because many of the Eastern European princesses I know model on the side. When I say “career model” I mean someone that does it as a primary or sole source of income. I don’t want to just trash world famous supermodels here, I want to trash your local Macy’s catalog models too. They’re all stupid and they’re all overpaid. I once dated a girl that was more on that “wannabe” local level, she still pulled down $120K+ per year. It was worth more like $150K because most of it was cash! She was actually pretty hot and I certainly enjoyed banging her but she was so painfully stupid that I had to dump her after 2 months of intellectual agony. The thought of a long car ride with her was depressing. She bored me to tears. My porch furniture had a higher IQ than she did. But with the exception of Eastern European hobbyists, this is the rule, not the exception for model stupidity. This even goes for Western European chicks that you would expect to have a greater intelligence level than your average American chick. This industry is a fucking travesty. Billions are being squandered on undeserving brain dead coke sluts while the world is full of equally beautiful (if not more so) perfect little princesses that don’t have two nickels to rub together.

The law of supply and demand dictates that models should earn minimum wage. If you’re in a position to help bring about some sanity in this industry – please do so. Fuck models!

Before I end my rant, here’s another good place to tie in some more Single Dude Travel advice: if you decide to do some internet dating you better learn how to critically examine a photo. Don’t get me wrong Eastern European and Asian chicks are committing far less “photo fraud” than American girls but there still is some. On any online dating site anywhere in the world there are always going to be a few chicks trying to pull off “the MySpace angle“. When you’re done oggling her boobs critically examine some areas that you would not normally pay much attention to – chin, neck, arms, legs (especially knees and ankles). Unless she’s engaged in some serious photo fraud using Photoshop (see below) these are the areas that will give away any degree of chunkiness that they’re trying to hide with clothing and/or creative camera angles. If she has super slender feminine arms, legs and neck she is probably OK. Eastern European chicks love to get professional quality photos done all the time, this alone is not cause for concern as it would be in the US but look for a non-pro photo to verify the facts. Happy hunting!

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