Bar Real Estate: Location, Location, Location!

A BarEveryone has heard the old cliché, “The three most important things in real estate are location, location and location!” We agree and think real estate means much more than just real estate taxes and whether there’s a Bed Bath and Beyond nearby and the how the goddamn school districts are.  Real estate is very important in social situations as well.

In every social situation it is important to feel at home and to control your territory, just like the alpha males in the animal kingdom control their pack’s territory.  As alpha males, your territory in question is the bar, club, coffee shop, restaurant, or any other place where you intend on picking up girls who just missed the cut for Miss Venezuela.

Where you set up shop in the bar can often make the difference between being the hit of the bar or just a wallflower. The floor plan determines which locations are good via four key features: the bar, the entrance/exit, the bathrooms and the stage or dance floor.  Your object is to select a location that gives you a good view of as much of the bar as possible and brings a lot of foot traffic past your table.  The perfect table would be one where every person enters or exits the bar, gets a drink from the bar, goes to the bathroom or goes on or off the dance floor has to pass your table.  Few floor plans would allow all that but that is the ideal situation, just do the best you can.

See the example diagram below (green is good, red is bad).  There is no perfect table but there are some desirable locations (green) to sit and undesirable (red).   The main idea is to simply allow you to talk to as many people as possible in a situation where they have to come to or near you.  That is much easier to do than have to get up and cross the entire bar to talk to somebody.  With a really good location you can wait for people to come to you because they will most likely be forced to sooner or a later.  Our favorite location in a crowded bar is at the bar, where people have to come to you in order to get their drinks.  If someone has to enter your territory it is much easier to control the situation and make them feel like they’re asking for your favor instead of the other way around.

Sample Bar Floor Plan

Sample Bar Floor Plan

At a coffee shop or other daytime location where people sit at tables and don’t circulate much, we like to select a centrally located table in a desirable part of the establishment.  If there aren’t a lot of people there upon your arrival just stake out some territory in the middle of a bunch of empty tables where people will want to sit (i.e. near the window) and just be patient.  Soon, you will be surrounded by beautiful coeds and it will be very easy to ask a question here and there over your shoulder to get the ball rolling with them.  However, don’t feel constrained by your location too much in that situation – if you catch a girl or two checking you out from across the room, feel free to walk over and say “hi.”

The last important point regarding real estate is to control as much of it as possible.  If you’re going to some bar or club that you know will be good, go early and lock down as much real estate as you can.  There’s nothing better than when you and one friend have a table for four, or three of you have a table for six.  If it’s a hot location and tons of hot girls come in later with nowhere to sit it will be easy to get them to sit with you.

You don’t need to be bored while you’re waiting for the club to fill up either, just lock down your table by putting your coats and drinks on it and then go befriend the staff, DJ, band that’s setting up etc.  And TIP the bartender WELL whether it’s a country where tipping is usual or not.  By the time the bar fills up it will pay off some serious dividends if you’re friends with the whole staff.

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