An introduction to Russian girls

There is a land across the sea filled with women so beautiful, your balls will ache when you lay eyes upon them. Russia is the name of this promised land.  These gorgeous sirens have suffered much hardship at the hands of the men in their home countries who are generally abusive irresponsible drunken assholes, and usually fat, ugly and frequently criminal to boot. Without any reasonable prospects these the women have thrown up their hands and declared Russian men “impotent”. Imagine the Homer Simpson of the eastern bloc, Borat. It makes them wary to trust any man. Get ready to be quizzed about your whereabouts last night, and have your answers ready. They all have KGB designed bullshit detectors, so no lying. If it goes off, they might throw your Apple laptop at your head.

So, if you suck here in USA , you will still suck over there too, so don’t get the idea that the average, run of the mill American douchebag can show up in Moscow and get banged simply for flashing his US Passport. That was true only from 1989-1992 when Communism fell and their economies were devastated and many women desperately needed to emigrate to the West. Their economy is stable now, though difficult. Their women freely travel to NYC, LA and Miami for fun and return to their homeland. But now you know where bulk quantities of the planets most smoking hot women can be found and I will now tell you some rules about what it takes to hook up with them.

Rule #1: They are NOT easy to get in to bed.

Banish from your mind that they are easy because they can smell that arrogant attitude from the end of the bar and they will enjoy crushing your assumptions under the heel of their real Prada boots. Yes, there are MANY Russian prostitutes in the world and for that reason, it is extremely important to regular Russian women that you know they are not hookers. Those sexually crazy Russian girls you see in clubs and on the internet are pros and they are laughing all the way to the bank.  The whole pornography and sexploitation thing has made the regular girls feeling rather bruised and defensive and it bothers the normal women that they might get lumped together with their professional sisters.  So, you have to somehow convey respect without being a pussy. Got it? That said, these Communists have no God and will show you their lingerie by the end of the night if you push their buttons the right way.

Rule # 2: Just because a woman speaks Russian, doesn’t mean she is a Russian.

If you’re gonna play in this arena , you better pull out a map and start getting familiar with the countries of the region and their major cities. Nothing deflates a Latvian girl more than being called a Russian. Nothing makes you look stupider to a Ukranian girl than you not being able to name some cities there (Hint: Odessa, Kiev, Sebastapol, etc.). There is a great deal of resentment that these countries feel towards the Russian occupiers who fucked them over so very hard after WW2. Make sure you know who you are talking to. ( Wait, I think that alone might be a good topic of conversation with them….!) Russian women are the prickliest of the Slavic world as they’ve been pushed the hardest by Russian men, especially when they tell you they are from Moscow. Moscow is the equivalent of NYC for them and has a lot of hardened strong professional women. St Petersbergers are wondrously sophisticated and romantic. Siberians are gorgeous and affectionate.

GENERAL RULE FOR ENTIRE PLANET: Big city girls have big attitudes as they have to weed out 100 losers a day. Country girls are much sweeter and simpler. When looking for the supermodels follow the money. Where you find most of the wealth, there you will find most of the beautiful women in any country. Moscow has 80% or more of the wealth in all of Russia and not surprisingly a mind boggling number of spectacularly beautiful women hoping to find their man, just like NYC. Calibrate, you don’t hunt swans with an Uzi.

Rule #3: They are used to strong guys, guys unlike you and your friends. Remember Stalin, Putin, Krushev, Rasputin, Boris Badanov? These guys were badASS! Whatever you do, do not let them decide what’s next on the agenda (unless it involves getting naked). That means them deciding going to a different bar, eating, where to meet etc. They are used to STRONG leaders, so lead. They don’t respect anything less. If you ask out a girl, you must have a plan about where you are going even if it sucks. Going for a walk through a cool area is acceptable. Buying dinner is a lesser option, especially when it smacks of you buying them. And don’t smile all the time unless you mean it.

There is a Russian saying that you can only have as many friends as you have fingers. That means, they are slow to trust people but if you win their friendship, it actually means something (unlike L.A. for example). The payoff with these women is that they actually want to be be very submissive, are screaming maniacs in bed and will do your laundry while you eat the breakfast they made. They are like having a Ferarri. Requires skill to drive, but oh what a ride! So, man up! One unfortunate inexplicable exception to all this alpha male stuff is Anna Kournikova’s choice to date Enrique Iglesias (WTF? Publicity stunt so he doesn’t have to come out of the closet?).

Rule #4: They are romantic. They all want to be Cinderella. Therefore, you have to be their knight in shining armor who whisks them away from the hell they live in. Flowers, opening doors, being protective, etc, win you lots of point in the east if you do it in a guys-guy kind of way. Take them to the ballet and they will be yours. It triggers an uncontrollably stupid passion in them. You might want to kill yourself at the opera but you can survive watching almost naked teenage girls dance around for 2 hours. Dress better than you do in back in Minneapolis. They want their man to look good too as they take way better care of themselves than their American counterparts.

They also read tons of books as they are generally waaay smarter and developed than American women. So, like geography, if you are unfamiliar with Chekhov, Pushkin, Dostoyevsky and Tchaikovsky, you could end up looking like a dumbass. The majority men of the East are emotionally flat toolbags and usually drunk with no prospects for career. Be better than that. From what I’ve seen, Italian guys kill in East Europe, not that you have to be one. Slavs of all ages far prefer George Clooney over Justin Timberlake. It’s a race to the top, not to the bottom with these girls.

Like I said before on in earlier post , the best place to meet women of every variety is to go to shopping malls. Russian women dress way sexier than American chicks and it doesn’t have the same connotations as it does here. Eastern European women really love to shop and you might as well go find them in their favorite habitat. All they really wanted was to attract a real man, anyway.

Russians in particular love to party in big groups at long tables with endless Vodka. With the big doofus guys cockblocking, it’s very hard to break in to these tightly knit groups which is why I stay away from their big party halls. Bars offer good opportunities but Cafes are better. Fast food places are fantastic because girls 18-25 concentrate there as that’s all they can afford and in Eastern countries and the fast food isn’t that bad. A detail to remember is that women in the Slavic countries marry VERY young. Commonly by 19 they are boxed in to marrying the first guy who came along by their parents. These marriages are meaningless and the young dipshit husbands burn any goodwill within a few years of a marriage. That means, these girls who are “married” are very lonely and dying to have an affair. When you see the ring, know it’s a good sign because she’s in a hurry to be rescued from her misery.

Part of this same equation, there are many early divorces for the same reasons. So, it’s not uncommon to find a really slammin’ 24 year old with a child who now just wants to replenish her deficient self-esteem by fucking as sport or as means of getting husband #2. A strategy I respect, in fact. MILFs are extremely good news in East Europe. Life has taken them down a notch and they aren’t gonna play as many games. Keep your eyes peeled.

Cougars are also ample and maintain their looks far beyond Americans the same age. This is due to the fact that they walk everywhere, often in heels (apparently great for buns and calves) and they don’t over-eat. If you meet a cougar you like, proposition her right off the bat and make her an offer she can’t refuse. This is what all the Italian guys I know do there with great success.

OK, you don’t have time or money to go to Eastern Europe? Well, some of them have come right here to us. Most major cities have big populations of recent immigrants with very “talented” girls among them all wanting to live the American dream with you, if only for a weekend. When you see names like Tatyana, Svetlana, Ana, Anastasia, Karina, and Olga on Facebook, you are wise to investigate and connect.

Brighton Beach, just a subway ride beyond NYC, is a huge ex-pat Russian colony, everything said above holding true. Likewise for Chicago and L.A. (hoping to be “discovered”). Now that you know a bit about what they are like and how superior they are to lame over-rated pain in the ass American women, you can go to town.

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