You cheap if I wanteth you to be,
You great supplier of dentistry.
From your high mountain tops,
To your women’s boobs that almost pop.
Your Imperial Beer is not the best,
Luckily you serveth all the rest.
Your downtown San Jose is trashy,
Except for the casinos, sticketh to the Del Ray and Key Largo for flashy.
They are filled with beautiful girls,
That you may taketh up and give a whirl.
The cost is not too much to handle,
Less than a hundred dollars get’s you till the end of the candle.
And what would the cost of a return visit be?
You guessed it, could most likely be free.
Now whateth if I am feeling too cold?
There are many beaches thou must behold.
Ah the East Coast, you are almost untouched,
Hippies doth roam and of backpackers there are much.
Your hills and rivers giveth much delight,
As for finding a great party, it helps to have a full moon night.
Moving further West, we enter the mountains,
With your blasting volcanoes and hot steamy fountains.
This is where ¡Raul! goes to unwind,
After a long day of the rest of you being so kind.
But, whateth of the West Coast? Thou dost ask,
Well, this is a place to surf and findeth some ass.
All up and down these beautiful beaches,
You will indeed find sun, surf and tons of beeyotches.
Jacó is great, like a warm San Jose,
Casinos, cheap hotels, women and what ever else, have you may.
If thou hast dreads, Monteverde is thine place,
A toneth of drugs and white unshaven women will put a smile on
your Rasta face.
Don’t go to Tamarindo if thou are on a budget,
The rich pale face has moved in, and with him his wallet.
This is only a quick tripeth around Costa Rica,
I’m sure if thou goeth, you will find “Pura Vida!”
One warning ¡Raul! presents, is do not stayeth forever,
There are too many chicas elsewhere that don’t charge for their feather.
To the north and south other countries await,
Don’t hesitate to travel to them as it is getting late.
As people move in and prices are on the ups,
The best thing about these places get buried under Starbucks.
So to leaveth you now, with a smile on your face,
¡Raul! Sayeth, this is the place!
How I doth love thee,
Let Me count the ways.
TOO DAMN MANY-ETH!