Of secondary importance to body language but also of critical importance in communication is how your voice sounds. One of the fastest way to drive off chicks is to have a monotone voice. It also used to be one of my own biggest problems, coincidentally. People always used to tell me I had such a boring monotone voice and I always got mad and thought my friends were just trying to fuck with me and insult me. It wasn’t until one day when I was attending a psychology lecture discussing the importance of tone of voice and vocal expression that I realized that perhaps people weren’t just fucking with me. The class was given an assignment with a randomly assigned partners that involved critiquing each other’s communication style, when my partner compared me to comedian Steven Wright that I finally realized I needed to fix this serious personality flaw immediately.
The good news is it’s pretty easy to fix if you simply take some time to consciously address it. First of all, record yourself talking and listen back. What do you sound like? If you sound like Barry White go ahead and skip to the next entry. Otherwise, be self-critical here. What don’t you like? The tone? The expression? Then fix it. There’s lots of ways: you can take an acting class, see a voice coach or just try to imitate your favorite actors doing different voices and/or accents (just don’t choose Steven Wright). It’s very easy to fix with practice. Be expressive with your voice. After a while it becomes a habit and the problem just disappears.
Lesson 1 for today: Be expressive with your voice and speak with a pleasing tone.
A common technique to make your voice sound better is to pull your chin down a little bit which should open up your throat and lower your voice. A lower voice is more masculine, more authoritative, more confident sounding, and therefore more attractive to the opposite sex. Try the exercise, pull your chin up head back, and start talking as you pull you chin down. You’ll notice your voice get deeper and richer as you come down. An added benefit is when you get your chin down a little bit and then look a little more up it is more attractive way to use your eyes. Look at all models, they always do it. Imagine a little Blue Steel look.
As soon as I had put enough effort in to make a marked change in this aspect of the way I presented myself I noticed immediately that it was much easier to meet new people out in public, especially girls.
Take this one to heart and realize that this is a really difficult thing to be consciously aware of about yourself. Find some people you trust and get some honest opinions. If you’re not a professional actor or radio host or something like that, just poll a few friends just to make sure you aren’t deficient in this category. It’s one of the few things that you can do that’s easy and quick that will improve your game by leaps and bounds besides body language.
With solid body language and a good voice you can actually pick up girls that you have no and I can’t stress this enough NO common language ability with at all. They literally will understand you as “blah blah blah, blah blah blah blah, blah blah blah.” It’s very difficult but it can be done, I’ve done it and this drives home the importance of voice and body language.
Another interesting thing to consider is that if you have problems with job interviews, there is a good chance it’s a voice or body language issue rather than your skill set or education. They wouldn’t have called you in for an interview if you weren’t qualified for the job. You fucked up in the interview. And since the actual word choice is the least important part of communicating with people in person chances are it’s a voice and/or body language issue. Don’t get me wrong, we really enjoy banging super hot Central American models and hearing them call out, “Si, si, si, me encanta, me encanta!” just as much as the next guy. However that’s not the only point of life! The real goal is to have a great quality life overall. There are plenty of douchebag losers that get laid enough but are miserable and hate their life and can’t even enjoy or appreciate the girls they bang. The tips you read on this blog will help you be a rock super star in every area of your life. Don’t measure yourself by how many girls you sleep with, measure yourself by setting and attaining personal goals that improve your life and the women will come in droves seemingly magically.
My greatest problem with my voice was that I didn’t speak slowly and clearly enough. Confident people never have to rush when they speak, only people worried about people not paying attention. Especially when you’re talking to people who don’t speak English as their first language, you have to slow WAY down and really enunciate yourself. Don’t use a bunch of complicated slang. Express yourself simply and you will express yourself powerfully. Practice this. Once again, record yourself. Take public speaking classes and work with the Toastmasters. This was a huge improvement in my game and my life when I got hold of this skill.
Lesson 2: Speak slowly, clearly and simply.