Ah, Bulgaria. A great single dude travel destination. If you’re on a budget and you don’t want to venture too far off the beaten path Bulgaria is a excellent destination. It’s not too far away, cheap, beautiful, fun, has 24 hour, 7 day a week full on partying and lots of super hot girls who still carry genes from the alien race that came over on a spaceship and populated the area with alien nymphomaniacs thousands of years ago. We call them the “Master Race.”
There is no point repeating what others have put out there already, so if you want to know stuff about Bulgaria’s population, size, history, etc check out the CIA World Fact Book, the State Department travel advisories and Wikipedia. From the government sources however, take what you read with a grain of salt. When I first started traveling in Eastern Europe and reading the US State Department travel advisories I got the impression that I would need full body armor and automatic weapons to safely navigate Eastern Europe. As you will hear from us many times, there are always exceptions but by and large you’re more likely to get in to get in real trouble more often by venturing int the wrong neighborhood in a large US city than you will in Eastern Europe. One key difference between Bulgaria and the US is that Bulgaria is full of what we like to call “Mafia Douchebags,” however Mafia Douchebags most of the time behave like bees: don’t fuck with them and they won’t fuck with you. Just leave them and their battered chalga slut girlfriends alone and they won’t bother you.
What I will tell you is that Bulgaria is basically one of the poorest countries in the EU which also happens to makes it one of the cheapest. It’s also only a two to three hour flight from most major EU airports (i.e. Zurich, Frankfurt, Paris, etc.). It does not directly border nor is it even particularly close to any Western European countries with large numbers of drunken asshole football fans (DAFFs). So geographically Bulgaria is in pretty good shape to be an ideal Eastern European travel destination. It also some other great things going for it – it has a quaint wine country in the center that may remind you of northern Italy, mountains that are good for skiing in the southwest and beaches all along the east on the Black Sea. That’s a lot of pretty cool geographical features to pack into a country about the size of Kentucky or Iceland.
Sofia is the capital city and it has great night life and naturally is also the most expensive city in Bulgaria. Still you can find nice hostels for about 10 EUR per night and you should be able to find apartments that sleep two or three for 35-80 EUR per night short term, 450-900 EUR per month for 1-3 months and 200-400 EUR long term. The prices I’m describing are for fully furnished apartments. If you go to small towns outside of Sofia you can often easily find hotels or guest houses for as little as 10 EUR per night or less.
The women are some of the hottest you will find on planet earth. On scale of 1-10 for the number of hot available single women that will be interested in meeting a quality foreign man I would give Bulgaria a 7. Even though the place hasn’t been over-run with DAFFs yet, just being in the EU always leads to some DAFF traffic which inevitably turns off some proportion of the local women to foreigners otherwise Bulgaria would definitely rank higher on my 1-10 scale.
Bulgarian women are not without their flaws, however. While you can certainly find gorgeous, highly educated, highly intelligent professional women all over the place in Bulgaria that make even the best American women look like Rosie O’Donnell, the hottest of the hot girls in Bulgaria have a propensity for being Chalga Sluts. If you want to know what Chalga is look no further than this video:
A Chalga slut’s goal in life is to go to Chalga clubs and throw a bunch of napkins on the floor, and then fuck old, fat, bald Mafia Douchebags in order to ride around in their 200,000 EUR+ Mercedes that they bought with money they stole or embezzled from the EU. If you want to learn about Mafia Douchebags check out this video:
Unfortunately it’s not subtitled but there isn’t much to what this fat stupid neanderthal is saying. The central concept in this shaved ape’s only partially coherent rambling is that the best way to win over a chick is to have an expensive car and to be a criminal asshole. Fortunately for us, only Chalga sluts agree and quality Bulgarian girls view these Mafia Douchebags with the same disdain we do.
Now, Chalga sluts can be picked up, but they’re much more difficult because it’s unlikely you will have anything in common to talk to them about and they often don’t speak English or any other foreign languages. I in no way want to discourage you from going to Chalga clubs and banging Chalga sluts but if you’re anything like us you will like the girls that hang out in bars, coffee shops and house clubs a lot better (although they definitely have house club sluts that are basically the same thing as Chalga sluts). In a way, you could think of a Chalga slut as an American chick… only hot and a little bit smarter.
There is another thing you should know about Chalga music: if Bulgaria ever fights a civil war it will be over Chalga music. Half the people love it and half the people hate it. Chalga chicks are hot though. Check this one out:
In Bulgaria, the best method to meet girls is to go to cafes, bars and restaurants in the day time hands down. Once they go out and start partying they hit it pretty hard and all the clubs and bars (no matter what kind) are often loud enough to make your ears bleed.
We will be writing more over the next couple of weeks, so stay tuned, and book your Bulgaria tickets for your next vacation.