Hey bro, what’s up? How are you doing? What’s new? Me? I’m awesome. Why? Well, everything is good at work, and I’ve been hitting the gym a lot and eating well so I feel really excellent these days. Also, I’ve been seeing this totally perfect girl from Eastern Europe!
Yeah, I know, I know. I never say that about my American girlfriends. I thought it was me, that I was burned out, and that I couldn’t really be that into a girl anymore. But this girl changed my whole attitude. I’m really into her for all sorts of reasons. Like what? For one, she’s really ultra hot. She’s in great shape and really looks good whenever we see each other. You just hardly ever see chicks like this in America anymore. She’s really smart. She’s got a good professional job and she speaks four languages. I feel like I can actually have an intelligent conversation about about anything with her, and she understands everything I say even though English is her third language. Also she’s super nice. When I first saw her I walked up and said hi, and she just smiled at me and said, “Hi! Where are you from?” She was totally in to me from the first second, and vice versa.
I know, man, it’s great. And when I told people I was going to Eastern Europe, they said things like, “But it’s poor and crappy there”, or “It’s all Mafia Douchebags there”, or “Where is Latvia? Is that in Russia or something?” It’s true you have to watch out a little for the Mafia Douchebags. But those skeptics have no idea what they’re missing out on in Eastern Europe.
Life there is just, so, European. Pretty much everybody is nice and smart and competent. When the weather is good, everyone sits outside at cafes and drinks coffee all day, and then they all party their asses off all night, seven days a week. The places on the beaches there are pretty much all night parties in the summer. There’s some really nice scenery; with mountains, seasides and beaches, and cool old cities. It’s cheap too, since most countries haven’t adopted the Euro yet, you can have a pretty awesome time for pennies on the dollar.
Also the girls, the girls! They’re everywhere there! It’s not like you have to scour the bar for the two hot chicks in the whole joint like you have to in America or Western Europe. You don’t really even need to turn your head to watch a hot one go by, because you’ll be missing the next one. And they take great care of themselves too. They dress nice all the time, wear high heels and makeup and really seem to enjoy being feminine. And lots and lots of them are also just as smart as my new girl. It’s a paradise.
So yeah, feel like coming along on my next trip to Eastern Europe? I though you might! Maybe we’ll go to one of the Baltic countries. Or someplace on the Black Sea. I really like the Balkans too. And don’t forget central Eastern Europe, there’s a lot going on there too.
So, let’s book our tickets! For next summer! Maybe you won’t come back! Or maybe you will, but with the girl of your dreams! I bet you though, chances are good when you get back, that you’re going to be in love with a girl or three with last names that end in “…ova” or “…ic” or “…ski”.