Friday Haiku Corner with ¡Raul! Vol. 10

Haiku

And now, for a special edition of Haiku Corner, I will write about my favorite time of year…

Springtime. The best time.
Off come coats and heavy clothes.
Goods are on display.

Her flower smells bad.
Stay away from that action.
Nose clip and doggy.

Sun feels amazing
Remember sunscreen. If not…
You’ll turn to leather.

You must get in shape.
Girls do not like to whale watch.
Unless it’s Raul!’s…

It’s time for Spring Break!
Shots. Bombs. Contests. Loose women.
Don’t forget condoms.

Mr Day and Dr Night

Dr Jekyll & Mr Hyde

So now you’ve arrived in wherever it is you’ve gone to give this new lifestyle a crack and now it’s finally time.  You’ve done whatever groundwork you could, be it learning the language, getting in better shape, doing internet groundwork, whatever, and now it’s time to actually hit the pavement and get to work.

The question is now: where and when to do it?  I like hanging out in bars as much as the last guy, but it’s not the best place to make new beautiful Bulgarian girlfriends with high heels and sex addictions.  Which brings us to today’s first lesson:

Lesson 1 for today:  Meet girls when the sun is up.

It’s so much … [Read more]

Save your money

A Wildebeest

Ok, so you’ve booked the ticket for your first trip to some place where the beer is cheap and the women are beautiful, nice and can’t wait to meet you.  Now what?  How do you get ready for the trip?  What homework might pay dividends?  How do you make sure you’re as ready as you can be?

First of all, save your goddamn money.  If you’re like me and have to be in America or Western Europe for job reasons most of the time, going out to meet girls is pretty much a waste of time and definitely a waste of money.  It’s just throwing your money and precious time away at late night clubs drinking $5-7 beers and … [Read more]

A plea to stag parties

Stag Party

A Plea to Dudes Worldwide (Especially the English):

Please guys, we know it’s fun. I love my guy friends. It’s super fun to hang out with the guys and go out and watch the game or play sports or just go out and get super drunk. But for travel, the big stag trips just don’t work for what we’re trying to do and furthermore make it harder for everyone else.  Eastern Europe, courtesy of the discount airlines like Ryanair and others, is quickly becoming a huge sausage fest and making it hard for everybody to get laid.

I lived in the summer of 2007 in Prague, in the Czech Republic. It’s a beautiful town with a lot … [Read more]