Just as I felt the need to proclaim my undying love for Mexico, I too feel the need to make a similar proclamation of my amorous feelings toward the wonderful Republic of Bulgaria. It’s taken me a lot of world travel to truly appreciate how much this small country has to offer in one neat little package. I mean really, the only drawbacks of Bulgaria are a decrepit infrastructure ravaged by communism and the mafia douchebag infestation which is currently raging much as it is everywhere else in Eastern Europe. But really besides some holes in the road and the poser gangsters, there really aren’t any significant drawbacks to Bulgaria.
Let’s talk about all the … [Read more]
I see fat people.
Everywhere I go in America they’re there, mountainous creatures waddling down the street armed with their XXL Big and Tall outfits, burritos in hand, with gargantuan partners and morbidly obese children drinking Super Big Gulps filled with sugar soda. Sweating through their pits at the slightest effort and mouth breathing like some woolly mammoth out of Ice Age, these disgusting creatures are everywhere and it is only getting worse. This is an epidemic that is to America what AIDS is to Africa.
Not convinced? Look at this graphic on the CDC website. When you watch the little slideshow map you can really get an idea of how much of an epidemic this is. … [Read more]
Every Saturday morning, when my alarm goes off super early (at 10AM) and as I groggily lift my head off the pillow, the girl next to me says,
“Carlos, que haces?” to which I reply:
“Voy al farmers’ market, mi corazonita. Regreso en una hora con desayuno y mas amor!”
Then I step out and drop by the farmer’s market. So I’m sure your next question is: Why would I leave that gorgeous Costa Rican girl in bed to go buy some vegetables?
Because: Real men go to the Farmers’ Market.
It’s so useful for so many reasons. In today’s world of super unhealthy processed food, the McDonalds epidemic, and lots of artificial pesticides and fertilizer, … [Read more]
Fuck You McDonald’s! You guys are really making the world a shittier place to live. I’m dismayed to say that after visiting 35+ countries I can’t remember a single one where I didn’t find a McDonald’s (and usually tens if not hundreds of them) serving up their unique brand of McShit. Why is McDonald’s such a bane on society? Well let’s see:
1.) Their food is atrocious. It’s both extremely unhealthy and extremely fattening. From factory farmed beef cleaned with ammonia to the inclusion of a plethora of chemicals in their “food”, one thing is clear: McDonald’s doesn’t give a shit about you or your health. McDonald’s just wants you to stuff your fat face with … [Read more]
Kiev, Ukraine, a major city right in the heart of Eastern Europe. It’s certainly a place worth visiting at least once but I’m going to have to surprise even myself here and give it a mixed review. I’ve only visited Kiev twice, once recently and once many years ago. I was surprised to find the women less beautiful than I remembered and the city itself more beautiful. If you haven’t been to Eastern Europe yet you may not know that many Eastern Europe cities are huge concrete wastelands of architectural diarrhea courtesy of the communist era. There are exceptions though such as Prague, Riga, Zagreb and to some degree definitely Kiev.
Let’s talk about the other major … [Read more]
I have never really understood how guys hook up with desirable women at bars and clubs. First of all, those places seem to be populated mainly by skanks and second of all, if we took alcohol and drugs out of the equation, I’m not sure how lucky those guys would be getting. I am certain that it matters greatly to women how the narrative of how they met Mr Right reads. Their ideal story is that they were carrying milk in pails back from the market down a country road and a “real man” with honor and a horse chased them down and talked them in to taking a ride on their steed (this is how my grandparents met … [Read more]