Not Everyone is a Douchebag, People!

douchebag 2

Raul told me a funny story the other day about a conversation he had with his mom recently. She’s a really nice lady, which is strange considering what a depraved misanthrope her son is. Anyway, he happened to refer to someone as a “douchebag”, and his mom cracked up. He apologized for his crudeness, but she said,

“No no, it’s just when I was growing up (in the late 50s-early 60s) we used to call people douchebags all the time. Are kids calling people douchebags again?”

Amazing. Anyway, that story got me thinking about the modern douchebag and the impact he has had on society. The douchebag and his opposite, the hipster, are the yin and yang … [Read more]

Single Dude Radio Episode 5: We Love Eastern European Chicks

Single Dude Radio

In this episode Charlie and Boris take a break in Manila from reporting on Southeast Asia and discuss one of the best places on Earth for the single dude, Eastern Europe. We tried to keep it positive but we could help ourselves from comparing the fantastic Eastern European women to completely uncompetitive Western chicks.

Tangential topics discussed included:

The Single Dude’s Guide to Manila Philippines: The Cons

Eastern Europe, now do you see?
The Single Dude’s Guide to Kiev, Ukraine
Up yours Rebecca Watson!
American Girls Suck!
The Diamond Ring Scam/
How to get what … [Read more]

Single Dude Radio Episode 3: The Night Boris Died (almost)

Single Dude Radio

Today Boris and Charlie are back for another episode of Single Dude Radio as they recap the story of Boris’ parting gift from the wonderful nation-state of Singapore.

Links:
The Night I Almost Died in Singapore
Singapore – The Cons
Singapore – The Pros
I Love Cougars!
Retard say what?
Nice Guys Finish First
Don’t be an asshole!
The Single Dude’s Guide to Thailand
Crazy Chicks- The Dudestroyer
Making Friends with Dangerous People
The Single Dude’s Guide to Boracay, … [Read more]

The Single Dude's guide to Singapore, Part Two - The Pros

Marina Bay Sands is cool but pricey

In my previous article on Singapore, I detailed the numerous drawbacks for the single dude to Singapore. Seen from that perspective, Singapore sounds terrible- high prices, gold diggers, fagbagsters, DAFFs, and retardation do not make a good single dude travel destination. But, in case you find yourself in Singapore for some reason beyond your control, don’t lose heart. You can make it work here if your skills are good and your bankroll is … [Read more]

How to make friends with dangerous people, an advanced technique

Charles Manson

First and foremost I have to disclaim that we take no responsibility if you get your ass kicked or worse when trying to make friends with dangerous people. That said it is almost always better to have the dangerous people on your side rather than neutral or [obviously] against you. As much as we like to make fun of mafia douchebags, it can be useful at times to have them as friends. Of course they are always going to be guys that know how to get you contraband like drugs but also they will watch your back if they like you. If you have a good mafia douchebag friend there is no way you are … [Read more]

Avoiding Bar Scams

Scam

“Wow, this bar is fun! There’s hot chicks everywhere, the dance floor is pumping, and the team is just killing tonight. Bartender, get these girls some drinks! Yeah, whatever they want. I’ll have some more vodka, sure, just put it on my tab. Dude, these chicks are ready to go, let’s invite them back to the apartment. Bartender!”

“Check please!”

“What?!?”

“Five hundred dollars? You have got to be kidding me. I’m not paying that, that’s ridiculous.

“Wait, where did all those mafia douchebags come from? Uh oh. This is getting ugly. OK, OK, we’ll pay. Just let me go to the ATM. What?”

“You’re all going to walk there with me?”

“Fuuuuck!”

And that’s how it goes, … [Read more]

Obichem te Bulgaria!

Bulgarian Girls

Just as I felt the need to proclaim my undying love for Mexico, I too feel the need to make a similar proclamation of my amorous feelings toward the wonderful Republic of Bulgaria. It’s taken me a lot of world travel to truly appreciate how much this small country has to offer in one neat little package. I mean really, the only drawbacks of Bulgaria are a decrepit infrastructure ravaged by communism and the mafia douchebag infestation which is currently raging much as it is everywhere else in Eastern Europe. But really besides some holes in the road and the poser gangsters, there really aren’t any significant drawbacks to Bulgaria.

Let’s talk about all the … [Read more]

The Single Dude's Guide to Kiev, Ukraine

Maidan Nezalezhnosti Kiev

Kiev, Ukraine, a major city right in the heart of Eastern Europe. It’s certainly a place worth visiting at least once but I’m going to have to surprise even myself here and give it a mixed review. I’ve only visited Kiev twice, once recently and once many years ago. I was surprised to find the women less beautiful than I remembered and the city itself more beautiful. If you haven’t been to Eastern Europe yet you may not know that many Eastern Europe cities are huge concrete wastelands of architectural diarrhea courtesy of the communist era. There are exceptions though such as Prague, Riga, Zagreb and to some degree definitely Kiev.

Let’s talk about the other major … [Read more]

hotchickswithdouchebags.com Submission

Bulgarus Douchebagus Fashionistas Faggus

Dear Fellow Douchebag Enthusiast,

I would like to submit the attached for your consideration for inclusion in your outstanding collection. This is a rare species hailing from the Balkan state of Bulgaria. Commonly referred to locally as ubitak (убитак), official Latin classification: Bulgarus Douchebagus Fashionistas Faggus. This species refuses to mate in captivity or anywhere else for that matter. It is a genetic mutation only produced by inbreeding the common mutra (мутра), official Latin classification: Bulgarus Fattus Baldus Noneckus Mafias Dumbassus Douchebagus.

Please accept this photograph as our gift to you. If you have any interest in obtaining a live specimen please contact me at your … [Read more]

Bansko, the Aspen of Bulgaria

Bansko

If Sunny Beach is the Cancun of Bulgaria then Bansko is definitely the Aspen of Bulgaria. I probably need to disclaim right off the bat I’m using the term “Aspen of Bulgaria” loosely here. You should not expect to catch Charlie Sheen doing coke off some hookers ass in the bathroom of a Chalga club or to see Jack Nicholson hitting the slopes with an 18 year old snowbunny on each arm. What I mean is that Bansko is the biggest, nicest and most expensive ski resort in Bulgaria and it’s a hell of a lot of fun. I don’t mean that it’s 100% high class, it is certainly not and still littered with Chalga clubs and … [Read more]