American Scamocracy


The assholes running this country (Republicans, Democrats, it’s all the same, really) have absolutely no qualms spending trillions of other people’s money. They’re not just spending our money, they’re bankrupting our children and their children and consigning them to be born in an America where they will live in debt slavery from cradle to grave. The politicians don’t care, they’ll be long gone by then and their children and children’s children will be sitting pretty on the wealth that their parents and grandparents are stealing from you and me right now … [Read more]

Real Men go to Yoga Class

Yoga chicks are limber

As part of Single Dude Travel’s ongoing commitment to keeping you healthy and successful while also helping you get laid, I’d like to convince you macho single dudes to go to yoga class. We’ve already discussed how real men go to the Farmers’ Market, now it’s time to enter the land of yoga mats and leotards.

I know, I know, it sounds pretty gay. I mean, you’re just stretching, right? And there’s a 65-year-old grandmother in there! We’re men, we don’t do yoga! Wrong. Now I’m just like Hank Hedgehopper in that I love doing things at the gym that are hard and awesome, like slamming a sledgehammer into an old tire a bunch of times … [Read more]

Friday Haiku Corner with ¡Raul! Vol. 13


Dude, get off your ass.
Make something of yourself.
No more bitching out.

Lets see… cucumber,
zucchini, eggplant, carrot.
She gets the idea.

I can’t believe it!
Bastards! Why don’t they love me?
I deserve it all!

What a bunch of shit.
The great neighborhood is lost.
Why, Amsterdam? Why?!?!

Friday Haiku Corner with ¡Raul! Vol. 12

Hot Tattoo Chinese Girl

Want to eat healthy?
Stop being so damn lazy.
Farmers’ Market. Go.

Big mushroom benders,
can be good or get messy.
Not dull with ¡Raul!

Las Vegas Mangal!
It’s like a douche/ho contest.
Everybody wins!

Stewardess? Sky Hag?
One instead of the other?
Asia or U.S.

Oh no, where is he?
I lost my fairy wingman.
Nope! He is in back!

Real Men Go to the Farmers' Market

veggie love

Every Saturday morning, when my alarm goes off super early (at 10AM) and as I groggily lift my head off the pillow, the girl next to me says,

“Carlos, que haces?” to which I reply:

“Voy al farmers’ market, mi corazonita.  Regreso en una hora con desayuno y mas amor!”

Then I step out and drop by the farmer’s market.  So I’m sure your next question is: Why would I leave that gorgeous Costa Rican girl in bed to go buy some vegetables?

Because: Real men go to the Farmers’ Market.

It’s so useful for so many reasons.  In today’s world of super unhealthy processed food, the McDonalds epidemic, and lots of artificial pesticides and fertilizer, … [Read more]