I can never understand why so many people want to go on and on about how much they love London, although, I have noticed that it is usually fat Western people doing the talking. It’s the favorite place for entitled American Women’s Studies majors to go and spend a semester at or to work for a year, so that they can then come back to America and demonstrate their sophistication by going on an on about how great London is and how they want to go back there to live.
I personally have never understood the attraction of London, and in our opinion London is a very bad single dude travel destination. Why? The food is mediocre at best, the weather is bad, it’s unbelievably fucking expensive, it’s filled with business banker douche bags (BBDs), and to top it all off London is one of the absolutely worst places for women in the world.
Regular readers of this blog by now are quite familiar with my dislike of mediocre self entitled overweight western women, as well as banker scum. I also dislike bad food, bad weather, expensive drinks, bars without hot chicks, ripoff taxis, and unhealthy overpriced restaurants.
That is London in a nutshell, dudes. The so called advantages of London? They have no regulation of bankers making money out of thin air and screwing over their clients, soccer hooligans, the biggest bunch of obnoxious drunks in the world, an ugly bunch of inbred royalty, some good electronic music clubs, some excellent museums, and for those trapped in London for work, cheap budget airlines with daily flights to hundreds of better destinations in Europe.
While generally speaking I do not recommend America as a single dude destination, New York City, on the other hand, can be one of the best places to be provided that you’re not on a tight budget. Many, many beautiful young single girls come to New York to make their mark on the world, and are quite lonely and have a surprising amount of trouble meeting a nice cool smart single dude like you or I. The single dude can find New York to be a killing field for beautiful smart independent women if he plays his cards right.
I am not quite sure why, but this is not true for London. Yes, there are some hot chicks in London, that is undeniable. But not many. However there are legions of mediocre fives who think they are much hotter than they actually are and who have quite an attitude about themselves. Some London friends of mine who have been very successful single dudes in New York and Switzerland have told me over and over the London is the worst city for women they have ever lived in. I believe them.
I recently found myself in London for business for the first time in years and was able to immediately confirm that I made the correct decision not to visit at all during the last 10 years. I hope I do not need to return for another 10 years, unless I get my dream job – Head Banker Executioner of the Revolution, which would involve a lot of first class travel between New york and London to make sure the guillotines are well greased and the blades dull and rusty. Now that would be a 9-5 that I would commute to with a smile on my face every day.
Until then, though, fuck London. It is also a terrible value for the money. This is a city where traveling one stop on the tube costs 4.30 pounds ($6.88). In contrast, the New York City subway system will take you anywhere outside of JFK Airport for $2.50 (assuming of course that that your line is not under 20 feet of water). If you go out drinking forget about taking a taxi home unless you have a lot of money budgeted for it. Check out the London taxi fare schedule:
On my last trip to London I had a small apartment off of Brick Lane, in the Shoreditch neighborhood, which is Ground Zero for London hipsterism. Arriving by taxi on a Friday night at around last call, the street was a total chaos of sloppy drunks, with no cops to deal with the street fights and girls peeing in the street. Occasionally someone would think it was a good idea to rock the cab side to side as we waited for room in the street to inch forward.
Why are the English such a bunch of obnoxious sloppy drunks? In all my years of traveling I have seen more embarrassing and annoying drunk behavior from English people than of all the other drunks of the world combined, excepting the honorable-mention-worthy contribution of the Aussies. The men are well known for their drunk soccer hooliganism and stag parties, but an under appreciated percentage of bad English drunks are in fact the girls, who have no problem getting super drunk, screeching at each other, having emotional meltdowns, and squatting in the streets. These girls, when drunk, make even the American girls look classy in comparison.
Undeterred by the trip in the taxi, I went out the following night to sample the local nightlife. There, I found the following scene: packed bars with expensive drinks, slime on the floors, very few hot chicks, and sketchy African/Middle Eastern/Paki/Bangladeshi dudes lurking in the shadows everywhere.
The English girls there were pretty disgraceful – fat, badly dressed, not pretty, and possessing some real attitudes of superiority. It was really hard to even get the time of day from one of them. On the rare occasion that I did manage to engage one in conversation, it felt like quite an accomplishment, until I realized that I would never have even looked twice at her when I was in Bulgaria. Quite simply, London girls have their claws out and are not worth the effort, at the bars at least.
Not that I blame them for having their claws out in a scene like that, however. The male to female ratio is quite high in London bars, and a high percentage of the males are sketchy looking foreign dudes who all stand together on the outside of the circle without talking and stare hungrily at the girls. They really look like a pack of wolves ready to pounce on a lone sheep that strayed too far from the herd.
That was another thing I noticed on this trip to London: the percentage of actual English people there is quite small. Certainly English is not the the most common language heard on the street these days. Indians, Pakis, Banglis, Africans, even French and Spanish have been coming to London lately to try to find economic opportunity. That Mohammed is now the number one name for boys in the UK really becomes apparent just by taking a brief stroll down the street. As a result, there are a lot of poor immigrants and not much community cohesion. This is why there were those riots in 2011 in London and other British cities, and there will surely be more to come. With all the poor people and such income inequality in London, the city is a powder keg and one of the last places I would want to be trapped in the event of the breakdown of the social order.
London is dangerous even when people aren’t rioting and causing sales of baseball bats and riot gear to skyrocket 6000% on Amazon.com. The UK has the highest violent crime rate on the EU and that rate is also worse than the supposed “super dangerous” South Africa.
But at least the British government is doing its best to “protect” the people of the nation by putting up CCTV cameras everywhere. I had heard the stories about England being the capital of Big Brother style spying, where there is one CCTV camera for every 32 people but I had to see it for myself. Those fucking cameras are everywhere. Not that they help keep anyone safe, as one crime is solved for every 1000 cameras in England. However, when it comes time to crack down and declare martial law as the world ponzi fraud comes down and people take to the streets, they will be a very good way of controlling the sheep of Britain. For now we just get to watch typical London scenes like this:
Looks like the rest of the world is taking up The Knockout Game now.
So dudes, really, avoid London if at all possible. Leave it to the drunks, the criminals (bankers), the criminals (violent), the price gougers, and the worthless spoiled overweight chicks. Hop on Ryanair, Wizzair or Easyjet, squeeze your legs sideways for an hour or two, and come out to the Black Sea beaches, where the girls are skinny and wear thongs and you can walk home from the bar without having to choose between crime and unaffordable taxis. Leave London to the wankers.