“Ugh. This place sucks. Why did I come here?”
It’s been three times now that I’ve visited for a day or two, and let me tell you dudes, Brussels is not a single dude recommended destination. It’s boring, expensive, and has virtually no hot chicks. The only redeeming feature of Brussels is the excellent and extremely strong Belgian beer, very well paired with mussels in beer sauce and French fries. But one well designed beverage-meal combination is not nearly enough to balance against the world-class lameness of Brussels.
Only the French and Belgians can consider lameness and boringness something deserving national pride. That’s their response when I say, “What is with this town? There’s no place fun to go out, everything closes early, people are uptight, there’s no hot chicks, and the most famous piece of artwork in town is a statue of some little kid pissing? What gives?”
This is Belgium. That’s just the way we do things here. It’s our national character. Why do you Americans always expect everything to be like how you are used to it in America?”
Ok Jean-Michiel, let’s get a couple things straight. First of all, I am not complaining because Brussels is not like America, I’m complaining because it has too much in common with America. I’m complaining because it’s has no hot chicks that can compete with Eastern Europe, is approximately 5% as fun as the very nearby Amsterdam, and is filled with a bunch of delusional Euretards who think that they are accomplishing something great for humanity as they fold napkins at the bar on the Euro Hindenburg seconds before the whole thing burns up in the sky. Therefore, Brussels is definitely one of those cities that fall in the category of “don’t go here unless you’re getting paid well” cities. Although if you are getting paid well to be there you probably work for the EU and are a completely delusional retard who thinks your mediocre slightly overweight entitled French girlfriend is hot, and are therefore not a regular reader of our site. If you just happened to stumble on this article, dude, you gotta wake up. Your Euro experiment is a failure, there’s no leadership in Brussels at all, and now would be a good time to bail on the corporate/government job prison and redeem the rest of your life before you’re too old to enjoy it.
Thursday night is the weekly hang for the EU and related kids in the square near to the Parliament, so I rolled down there with an open mind to see how the scene was. There were a couple thousand young staffers for the EU and and young workers for all the attendant leech non-governmental lobbying and charity organizations that gather round big government shit like those little fish that swim around a big fish eating the seaweed off their gills.
When I walk out of my door for the first time of the day in my Eastern European city where I’m living on a quiet side street, I often see a super hot chick as soon as I open the door. It’s a little bit shocking when I’m in my slippers and usually more than a little bit hung and just dropping to the corner shop to pick up brunch vegetables. Brussels however, has no hot chicks, just more mediocre entitled Western feminists. That Thursday night was an ocean of 5s, as far as the eye could see. No hot chicks anywhere, I swear to God. Even a Midwestern American cow town has some hot chicks but I didn’t see one that night in Brussels, with the possible exception of a Slovakian girl I talked to for a while who, while cute, wouldn’t get looked at twice on the street in Bratislava. The rest were just thouroughly mediocre Western European girls who weren’t trying to look good at all. No high heels, no hot outfits, no makeup, they showed zero effort. If everyone gets their own Hell mine might be having to live forever at a big cocktail party in Brussels with a bunch of arrogant mediocre feminist wanna-be politicians.
One type of girl I have lots of trouble getting along with is the overeducated professional charity type girl who thinks she’s really smart and destined to change the world though lobbying the EU to change their environmental standards at the next Constitutional Faggotvention. They really live in a fantasy world, as is obvious after chatting with several of these graduates of some Euro version of Sarah Lawrence University. I spoke with several after drinking some delicious Belgian White and was just amazed at how stuck in their own little fantasy world these supposed young leaders of Europe were.
Overall, I have been surprised this summer in Europe how many people I have spoken to who appear quite intelligent that have no understanding of the amount of shit that the Eurozone is in right now. I kept hearing these Euretards saying something like,
The Euro will be ok, they just need to contain the crisis and everything will be fine. French people will continue to be able to work 35 hours weekly and take the summer off for their country house and there will be permanent peace and prosperity in Europe despite the continent’s 2000+ year history of war, genocide, and financial Great Devaluations. But now, we have finally changed human nature and solved all those pesky problems, and of course the world center of that historic accomplishment is of course…
Brussels! The home of the Euretards. Just don’t bother, dudes. Amsterdam is just a couple hours away by train. Even if you’re working in Brussels, it’s worth a 4 hour commute, even for just a couple drinks. I could go on and with more reasons why the Single Dude should skip Brussels, but I think I just won’t bother.