Charlie's Plan B

Emergency Glass

The dominoes are falling faster and faster right now in the ongoing global financial train wreck that is starting in Europe and will eventually spread to the whole world. First Iceland and Ireland. Then Greece, Greece, Greece, for a month. Then they fixed Greece! Or… well anyway, forget that shit, then Italian bonds exploded over 7% with the authority of Peter North on his first scene of the day. Then Spain, Belgium, Hungary, and several others shot up all at the same time just like bond bukkake. And that was just the European sovereign debt market. The US stock market had its worst Thanksgiving ever. Ndamukong Suh stomped on a guy. The debt Supercommittee failed, surprising exactly no one. Oh, and by the way, we’re getting ready for war with Syria.

Is anybody noticing this? Something is happening. When I travel and have bar conversation in other countries where people actually pay attention to what’s going on, I meet people who share with me the view that there is major change coming soon. Game changing kind of change. But most people in the West, specially younger Americans, have their heads in the sand (or up their asses). They don’t really seem to accept the possibility that life in America could ever change much from the big-screen TV, gas guzzling, consumerist, fat, entitled, king-of-the-world America that has been the whole of their experience on Earth.

But examination of history tells us the opposite. Times can and will change in the world. America is not special. Empires come and go. We are just as guaranteed to fail eventually as the Romans, Spanish, British, and Russians. The Romans also believed in the specialness and permanence of their empire also and probably never considered the possibility that one day the Coliseum would be in ruins and Rome would be run by Goldman Sachs.

Look around. Things are going to start happening soon, dudes.


The question is what? That’s hard to predict, but I have some theories and some plans drawn up for different scenarios. The single dude should always plan for contingencies. I would like to take you through one possible scenario – let’s call it Charlie’s Plan B! Here’s what happens:

World Event:

First, there is a major bank run in Europe as credit markets completely freeze up. This infects the entire globe as credit-default swaps are found to be fraudulent, and the whole reach around circle jerk that is the world financial club is exposed for what it is. The stock markets start to tank, along with all asset classes including oil, gold, food, and bonds.

Charlie’s Plan:

I make popcorn, read Zerohedge and pick up gorgeous nice chicks at oceanside cafes in Montevideo, Uruguay.

World Event:

In a general panic, there’s a huge sell-off before governments have time to get their shit together and we have a stock crash and we see numbers in the markets at least as bad as 2008.

Charlie’s Plan:

I sell my FAZ, and take that money, all my cash, max out my credit cards, take home equity loans on my houses and buy as much gold and silver as I can get my hands on as close to the height of the panic I can. I put it in a safety deposit box in Montevideo and then hit the vaporizer.

World Event:

The only ways out are sovereign default throughout Europe or money printing, and since default negatively impacts the bankers’ wallets, they will never let that happen. So the money printing this time will have to be big. It is guaranteed that gold will go up when this happens.

Charlie’s Plan:

I go to Southeast Asia for the rest of the winter year and chase after hot Iranian chicks in Kuala Lumpur.

World Event:

As gold spikes, more and more people ask for physical gold instead of gold certificates or ETFs. The fraud in the paper metals market is exposed and in order to satisfy redemptions there is a huge spike in the physical price. At this point it will be difficult to find any sellers of gold because everybody will need it to stay in business.

Charlie’s Plan:

I sell my gold and buy land. Where? Not sure, but it needs to be in a location with the following attributes:

1. Good weather.
2. Hot smart nice chicks.
3. Great food.
4. Good drugs and a tolerant drug policy.
5. Good weather.

Maybe a bargain basement deal on a a little place on the beach in Greece? An apartment after the Chinese real estate crash in Shanghai? Saigon, with a little place in Mui Ne too? Mexico, oh, Mexico, I love you. There’s some great choices. But I tell you, that gold will buy a lot then. Then I hang out on the beach and make more popcorn and make plans for for whatever the next stage is.

So that’s my Plan B. What’s yours?

0saves

6 comments to Charlie’s Plan B

  • Yeah, I would definitely put a vote in for more articles about single dude entrepreneurial strategy – I’m sure those articles take way more time and effort, but they could definitely be useful to lots of single dudes building up Plan Bs.

    I know I was definitely inspired to start creating my own professional destiny after finding you guys.

    And I love Boris’ business plan article BTW.

    Peter out.

  • From what I can tell, the real key to this is (either being rich already or) making one’s living through the internet somehow.

    As far as I can tell, there are…

    A: Those places where it’s easy to get a straight job

    …and…

    B: Those places where the women are super-swell

    I don’t know of any overlap between the two. Do you?

    • You gotta be an entrepreneur. Don’t look for a job, make your own professional destiny.

      • I clearly have some head-fixing to do here.

        I already did the entrepreneurial thing 2001-2008, failed, and filed Chapter 7. This leaves me gun-shy about taking such a risk again.

        But also, I DO remember the great feeling of being in charge of my life that came along with it, at least during the optimistic first half of the experience.

        It’s funny. I can’t seem to get my head around the idea of simply pumping a website or selling someone else’s stuff. If I can do that, then everyone else can too, so I can’t imagine making any kind of living there.

        But I CAN imagine actually inventing, building and selling unique and useful THINGS. That I can see. Hm.

Leave a Comment