The Single Dude's Guide to Singapore, Part One - The Cons

Marina Bay Sands is cool but priceySingapore, a tiny nation-state at the southern tip of Malaysia, is really on the rise these days. A haven for big banking and other big money businesses it is quickly, along with Hong Kong, turning into the economic powerhouse of Southeast Asia. Shit is happening there, skyscrapers are going up all over the place and people are immigrating from all over the region (and the world) to get in on the party.

With that in mind, I went to Singapore for an extended period this summer and I have a lot to say about it. There’s great party there and an enormous number of hot chicks, but despite those advantages Singapore is absolutely not a recommended single dude travel destination.

The first reason is the cost. Singapore is a super expensive place. The first night I was there I went to the bar and ordered a pint of local brew on draft, Tiger Beer. My cost? $18 SGD ($15 USD). That was at a somewhat fancy place and prices at super high end places can be as high as $25 SGD ($21 USD). Add this to the club entrance fees which can often be $30 SGD and up and you can easily spend a couple hundred bucks going out on a weekend night and not even get drunk.

I personally prefer cheaper places where you don’t have to call your broker to sell your investments in order to go out and party, places where you can go out freely without worrying that you’re going to spend your whole paycheck on mediocre Southeast Asian beer. To party well and survive financially in Singapore you have be smart about it. My Singapore nightlife survival strategy includes several tricks to take the edge off the high drink prices:

1. Duty Free – Every time you come into Singapore from abroad (except from Malaysia, nothing is allowed) you must bring booze from Duty Free. This will save you lots of money over the store price and enormous amounts over the bar price. Unfortunately the duty-free allowance is only 1 bottle of booze (1 liter), 1 bottle of wine (750 ml), 3 bottles of beer (330 ml each), and no cigarettes. If you bring a second bottle of anything you must pay a tax of $70 SGD ($55 USD) or risk a big fine if you’re caught. They will also fine you a shitload if you are seen with even one pack of foreign cigarettes without the import sticker (even if it’s only a partial pack and you opened it before you arrived), so just quit smoking already or get ready to pay $12 a pack for your cancer sticks.

2. Predrinking – Never go out sober. Have a little predrinking party at your place with your duty free booze or at least cheap beer from 7-11 before you go out and make sure you are pretty drunk when you arrive at the club.

3. Networking – Singapore is full of cool rich trust fund kids and other door openers, if you’re a cool single dude one might take you under his wing, get you into clubs and start letting you drink his bottle service. Be cool, let him offer a drink first, don’t ask for it. Buying a cheap happy hour drink for one of those guys can often pay off in spades.

4. Flasking – Singapore is usually a safe place, so they won’t pat you down when you get to the club. That’s good, because I always bring a flask or water bottle filled with vodka or some other high proof spirit with me to the club and then add that to ice or my rare $15 purchased drink.

5. Happy Hours – Singapore has some pretty good deals (by Singapore standards) for happy hour, like buy one get one drinks, cheap jugs of beer, etc. When possible do your drinking there and then have a chick over for the real party at your place in lieu of going out.

6. Chinatown, Food courts, and Hawker Stalls – For food, this is the way to go. Why pay a shitload for bad service at a real restaurant when you can get cheap delicious food at the mall food court or hawker stall and pick up chicks while you’re there? That’s what the non-millionaire locals do for food in Singapore and it’s a much better option.

Everything is expensive in Singapore, especially housing. Since it’s such a small country, apartments and hotels are quite expensive. Taxis are OK, although it seems like there’s a surcharge pretty much for everything – rush hour surcharge, night surcharge, city center surcharge, airport, etc. You’re better off taking the MRT (Metro) and buses which are everywhere and cheap. Get a $7 SGD ($5.50 USD) rechargeable card for $12 SGD ($10 SGD) and refill as necessary with the pocketfuls of change you will accumulate everywhere.

The second major problem with Singapore are the local chicks. I have been around much of the world and so far the Singaporean girls are the worst gold diggers I’ve ever met. They say there that all the Singaporean chicks are looking for the “5 Cs” in a man- cash, credit cards (which are apparently hard to get there), fancy car, condo, and career. Missing one of the aforementioned Cs is grounds for immediate disqualification by these gold diggers. The normal way that I like to meet chicks – “Hi! (smile)” does not seem to work on a Singaporean chick like it works on a Dutch chick – she’ll often give you a weird forced-half smile and then just turn her back to you. Bitch! The only technique that we’ve found that seems to work is to find a mixed group of Singaporeans and talk to the guys in the group while ignoring the chicks until the chicks start to take an interest in you. Then you can meet the girls. Overall I say it’s not worth the trouble. If she doesn’t like you right away she probably won’t really work that great as a partner anyway.

But don’t lose heart, there’s plenty of other chicks in town. Just like Kuala Lumpur, as a center of business there are chicks from all over the region in town trying to make it, and if they haven’t been infected with the goldiggerism like the Latina girls in Miami are after a couple months you have a good chance to make it work with the foreign chicks.

Another problem with Singapore is that it’s a sausagefest. All the upscale clubs are just filled with douchey Western business-banker types on expense accounts wearing long sleeve striped shirts, if you are making progress with a chick at a club and you leave her alone for a couple minutes, be ready to find her just absolutely surrounded by DAFF English guys when you get back. This is another good reason to focus on meeting girls during the day in Singapore.

The Singaporean guys, oh my. Nice dudes, but there are so many fagbagsters there. For those unfamiliar, here’s the Single dude Travel definition:

Fagbagster – A relatively new species currently very common in Asia, the fagbagster combines the douchebag quality of self-primping with the pussyness of hipsters, all sewed up in a handy effeminate Asian package. Complete with man-purse, eyliner, frosted tips and Zoolander face pout, the fagbagster is populous and growing in number, especially in Japan, Taiwan, Singapore, China and God knows where else in Asia. Foreign correspondents, please report back about the other Asian countries.

Our buddy Art Pfister, who has lived there for years detailed for us one of the most common techniques of the Singaporean fagbagster when he picks up a girl. He walks up to a Singaporean girl and shyly asks for her phone number. Then, after she gives it to him, because he’s Singaporean and nonthreatening, he walks away to a different part of the bar and flirts with her via text messages. What a faggot move! But apparently it works, because we see a lot of hot chicks with fagbagsters around town.

One last problem with Singapore is the retardation of the locals
. Maybe it’s the heat, but the Singaporean brains just don’t work in the same way that yours and mine work. Expect very bad, slow service, and a complete lack of ability by the locals to make decisions independently or to engage in abstract thought. Blank stares and incomprehensible “Singlish” are the norm and you must be prepared to wait forever for your change at bars. Singaporean society has a very top-down command structure so the rank-and-file people are not asked to think for themselves. Even the simplest request that is not by-the-book will be met with stupefaction and a “can not lah” by the locals. Need something at a restaurant or bar? Just get it for yourself and you’ll save 15 minutes. Have a different idea that will be mutually beneficial? Just keep it to yourself unless you’re talking the president of the company.

So that’s a lot of badmouthing of Singapore for one article. I could go on for another 1500 words on the topic, but I think those are the major points. My next article will be on the pros of the place, of which there are several, and where to go if you do find yourself there. Not all hope is lost for the single dude in Singapore, but it’s definitely a high-difficulty location for experts only.

Boris adds:

Unless someone is paying you to be there, there is absolutely no reason to go!

  • Defiler

    You don’t go up to her and ask her phone number, stupid. You just give her your phone and tell her to key in her number.

  • mrs chuck

    chucky, yr mum here, will u stop wanking in front of your computer & come help me with the trash? yer dad’s out wearing my dress again!!

  • charlie wilson

    most girls esp chinese sg girls are money hungry for expat suckers and when you try to get pay off they say’sorry friendship only’this is after you have gone out of your way and lets be frank here all gooks look the same to me must be the inbred gene pool in sg,they want you to meet them so they can get another free meal,well my meal ticket yellow gook can go fuck her brother,and add another four eyed dickless prick to the population of TOILET TOWN singapore where the only thing that smells worse than fresh dog shit is a local,

  • Dingo The Dog

    Pretty much what I heard to from people who lived there for months. Overall just a shitty boring place.. for people with small brains and small dicks trying to overcompensate by showing off.

  • Reason

    As much as you may complain, Singapore as a whole simply isn’t like that. Cognitive-wise, Singapore is by far not inferior. And for the girls, maybe they just simply didn’t feel comfortable with you. As much as I’m itching to join this word war, I have nothing against any of the countries. In short, know your place as a tourist and if you don’t like it, there’s no need to flare up and make exaggerated claims. I respect your views, but the terms like that fag-whatever was uncalled for and unnecessary.

  • charlie wilson

    went to molley molones ordered a pint of kilkenny fucken slope singo came back with a pint of jap piss now if this guy was an indian or fillipino would i have got my pint of kilkenny… your ass i would have,fuck i hate working here….

  • Michael

    Nice story, I have been 6 days in Singapore and have the same impression. I was a bit supriced, that girls don’t look at you and not even have a little smile for you. I’m from switzerland and girls a simular, maby it’s a thing of rich country’s.

    • 陈天昀

      Nope, its what happens when you cross western values and eastern culture. You basically get women (most , but not all) who don’t really know what they want. Like a rich, dominating but caring nice gentleman sensitive to how her mind works..but with a straight sexual orientation.

  • John O’Paul

    ps Singaporean women play little games and love to tease. Call their bluff! Tell her that you really love her and the only way that you can really show it is if you make “love”…
    Otherwise tell then that you think that they are as false as water!
    Take a picture of her, threaten to cyber shame her for being a phallus teaser! Tell her its for her own good!

  • John O’Paul

    Singaporean women are weird, well as weird as anyone else!

  • Philantropy

    sounds like a foreign fagola whining, to follow your white trash example, if you don’t like my country, FUCK off. Go back to your own country.

    • Manuel Pfister

      Hilarious, tell us more.

  • JacktheSGguy

    Every country has it’s fair share of foreign douche who tries too hard getting a local to acknowledge them ’cause they are just not attractive. You happen to be one of them. It ain’t fag to many girls in Asia that guys are shy, not all dig the Hollywood shit. By the way, I happen to be an MMA practitioner, but cute girls here just loves k-pop metro-sexual boys, n i respect their preferences.. Anyway, if you got a A&F model looks, Singapore is your oyster, white or Asian. If you are a fat, stingy unhealthy uninteresting douche crying chicken little and trying to blame your mom for the world is unfair to you. Go on try to get sex without paying, good luck Faggot :D

  • Charlie Bushmeister

    That’s not his real picture, retards.

  • curellasays

    I’m a Singaporean woman and I would just like to say that never have I come across any women in Singapore who even mentioned the 5Cs. The 5Cs was something made up by the media in Singapore, used in many Chinese television dramas. In real life, I don’t know one Singaporean women who cares about the 5Cs, they only care if the guy they are with was sincere and not after them for a one-night stand. It’s no wonder you didn’t have such luck, even I would be rude to you if you were after me for a one night stand. Get real please.

    • SB

      Geez, I wish I could meet a girl like you. The girl I’m with thinks it’s absolutely fine to get approached by guys that are looking for a one night stand. Well, obviously not right now because we’re dating but I still dislike the way she thinks. Why am I even writing this… nevermind.
      I’m glad to hear some Singaporean girls are like you, if I ever move there I’ll be more than happy to have a real relationship with one of them.

  • Eat a Whale

    Damn, this guy is one fat fuck

    • curellasays

      I just saw how fat he is. F**k. That explains EVERYTHING

  • richman

    Wah lan eh? So many fucking comments. I was fucking born here n fucking raise here. In singapore everything is so fucking expensive u want chicks, beer cheapcheap? You are in the wrong place dude. So don’t to fucking singapore and complain about expensive unless you have 1 fucking million usd in asssets, u know what i mean? Singapore chicks are no gold diggers but they aren’t cheap or easy either. Rich man? Fagbagbusters? Rich man are as many of them fagbagcheebye. Singapore has fucking changed so much tat i dont even fucking realised it. Who says asian country cannot be expensive and with high class pussies (or cheebyes). Yes expensive but it is also fucking boring and uncool. Thats the key thing here. It ain’t sexy n cool and yet so fucking expensive. You will not get value for your money here. Thats the irony. Well, welcome to fucking singapore

    • Manuel Pfister

      Thanks for another broken English, completely illiterate comment that proves not only the points above but many of the ones made in a followup article.

      • Nicholas

        Hi Manuel Pfister.
        With reference to the article; I would like to highlight a few brief points.
        1. The reason why the poster feels the drinks and fun is expensive is because he is really poor. I dont know why he is complaining about himself being poor instead of doing something about it.
        2. He suggests leeching off rich Singaporeans? Is that the kind of mindset westerners have? Really?
        3. Next he suggests smuggling alcohol in. In singapore, we call that cheapskate, but the unfortunates got to do what they got to do. Its not a sin to be poor.
        4. I find Singapore girls to be one of the classiest and smartest around, so I really have no idea what he is talking about. But I do understand that as a tourist, you would have minimal contact with the local populace and have been talking to the foreign labour (not talents). So you are forgiven for your ignorance.
        5. Regarding the part where you are chatting with a girl and she loses interest in you? Really sorry bro. You need to up your game. Its an individual effort, no one can help you if you miss the bar.
        6. Oh. And given your negative connotations about the local culture. Please keep in mind most of the people you meet are not locals. We have a huge population of foreign workers serving us in terms of customer service, etc which I find their service attitude poor and inadequate. But if you didnt notice, I guess you are not as ‘abstract’ as you believe. You are looking from your myopic point of view.

        You really need a lot of growing up to do.
        All the best to you moving forward.

        • Ang Moh Blues

          I first came to Singapore for work, and as I did not have an office, I worked from my hotel room at The Four Seasons Hotel. I was single,smart, well turned out and well travelled, with a tertiary education. However I could not get a date for love nor money. Well that’s not strictly true as you can always get a date for money at Brix Bar. The first thing to note is that Singaporean women, who don’t have to endure National Service, work. So they will only party on Friday and Saturday. Even if you go to the smarter clubs, no matter how much game you have, they won’t chat with you. If a wealthy Singaporean dude is in a club with his girlfriend,he will usually hoover up all the single girls by inviting them to join him and his girl. So unless you know this dude,you are wasting your time.
          The Singaporean men,on the other hand,are some of the nicest guys you could ever meet. Smart, educated, handsome. I made some great male friends. None of these guys had any problems picking up, but not one of them tried it on first night. There are social rules in Singapore. There is no 3/5 date rule in Singapore. You might have to date someone for months. Anyway my Sing buddies tried their best for their Ang Moh friend, but always failed to set me up. It’s not that I’m ugly or fat. In other cities in Asia I always did well. But not in Singapore. I would spend my evenings, dressed to kill in Paul Smith suits, with hand made shoes and shirts, drinking champagne cocktails, knowing full well that I would always go home alone.
          I asked out some of the girls at my hotel. No takers. A wealthy Sing cougar tried to pick me up in the hotel elevator one day. I extricated myself as I was new to Singapore and did not realise that this would be the only interest ever expressed in me during my two years stay.
          So I took the advice of my buddies and travelled to HCMC, where I met a stunning girl. I flew her in to spend every weekend with me. One day we were shopping at an upmarket grocery store, having a laugh, hanging out, when a stunning Scandinavian blonde made it obvious she wanted me. Of course I declined her advances.
          So in general, I would say don’t waste your time on the Chinese Sing girls. They will only look down on you and play with you,for the amusement of their friends. They tend to be immature and not worldly so I doubt any of them knew how to please a man in bed. Best avoided.
          If you’re really lucky,you might meet a Malaysian girl. They are by far the most beautiful in Sing. They are in great demand but make fabulous girlfriends. I met one on a business trip to KL. Classy, warm, great fun. As good as it gets. Other than that your best bet are the many Filipinas who work in Singapore.
          In summary guys, in regard to Sing girls, if they are of Chinese extraction, don’t bother. I did marry my Chinese Indonesian girlfriend, who used to dance on TV shows. I met her in Jakarta. So cool dudes, jump on a plane and be happy at weekends. The so-called Hi-So Sing girls are just not worth the candle.

    • Fishmarketstench

      Please imagine chow from the hangover when reading rich guys comment

  • li

    completly fucked up place

  • singapore dating events…

    There are nice singapore girls. You probably don’t find that many in a club.

  • Jj

    This is indeed a very interesting forum, but what will be more interesting, is if you guys gathered and carry on this discussion at a bar. Who knows, at the end of it all, you may realize you’re all more alike than you think. If not, just fight la.

  • Dca

    Well the whole point of being a western guy picking up girls in a less developed country is to find the gold diggers – girls who like you because you have more to spend than a local guy.

    But in Singapore, one of the richest places on the planet, you have basically set yourself up to fail in that regard. It’s like playing a game you know you cannot win. You would have better luck going to Monaco and complaining bitterly that no one invited you onto their yachts. Actually, analogies fail me, but you know what I mean. The girls just have better options.

    One final thing – Singapore actually has a much higher average IQ than any other English speaking country. That would seem to contradict your statement about the intelligence of the locals, butwjo knows – maybe that isnt enough to dissuade you. It’s kind of like the old poker saying – if you can’t spot the fish at the table, maybe it’s you…

    • Charlie Bushmeister

      Maybe they massage the IQ test statistics just like they do the school test scores. I mean the SG gov would never bend the rules to make SG look better, never.

      • Just another local

        Maybe they do. But let’s leave aside IQ and move on to comprehension. I’m a fan of ZH too, but ZH titles can be quite sensationalist. If you read the article, you’d find that the losses were from SGD appreciation and some firms were caught for not meeting anti-terrorism financing rules. Quite run of the mill, but perhaps for some people, it rocks their world. Didn’t see anything about bending the rules in main ZH article either.

        I like your blog and I agree with most of your views. And yeah, Singapore is fucking expensive. I’m a local, trust me, I hate it even more than you do. But I’m surprised at some of your experiences, like the level of retardation you encountered; I’d thought that Singapore is well known as a place where things work, but maybe I haven’t been frequenting the same places you visited.

        As for the women, If anything, many local men complain that all white guys need to do is show up and the Singaporean girls will throw themselves at them. In contrast, the local dudes have to produce the goods first. So I’m surprised at your lack of success. One tip – if, when you chat up a chick, she gives you a weird forced-half smile and then just turn her back to you, it doesn’t necessarily mean she’s a bitch. Don’t take it personal, bro. Maybe she just likes asians or blacks, or maybe you just need to up your game, or maybe you give off this sleazoid vibe you gotta lose, whatever. Just sayin’.

      • Philantropy

        The average american is pretty fucking stupid too, some don’t even know how many sides there are on triangles. By the way, singapore only modernized from its rural fishing village state fairly recently. Compared that to the centuries the west has to modernize and of course most people are not too bright. Typical flawed white argument. Actually, I find it scarier that a good portion of your kind is more retarded than us, despite your centuries of “refinement.” I guess you’ve reached your limit as a species if you must come to “inferior” countries to make money, but such is the fate of Nazi scum.

    • dude

      great article bro. i was born and raised in this country and being a strong believer in ‘dudeism’ i can vouch that singapore is probably the worst place to be for a dude. guys are faggots, girls dont talk and everything is expensive as fuck. just getting some beer and ciggies and chilling out with guys can cost 50 bucks. it can be a real developing country for one so small or whatever but a dude just cant chill here man. i actually googled ‘places in singapore for dudes’ and i came by this. great article bro. made me leave a comment when i dont give a shit about this kind things.

  • Compassion

    What is first world mentality anyway? Is judging people all the time, and acting pissed off, and getting easily depressed and critical of others – qualities that are regarded in London as posh and fashionable – first world?

    • Philantropy

      Apparently, first world mentality is defined as being an egotistical, imperialist nazi, at least in their countries.

  • frank

    Wow, this is one of the most ridiuclous blogs / posts / keyboard bashing things i have ever seen.
    What suprised me most is that considering singaporeans and their love for gossip that this hasnt recieved more attention.
    As most of you correctly pointed out, Singapore would be no where without foreigners both white and blue collar.

    What is fascinating though is that you use this as an attack on Singapore as if you are pointing out something that the government here didnt know. Singapore has 0 resources and was born practically yesterday.
    How else were they going to grow. If you LISTEN to your Singaporean counterparts its not general foreginers that Singaporeans are un-happy about its having too many. And please you hypocrytical mother fuckers, i grew up in pubs in London and if you looked remotely foregin, verbal abuse was something that foreigners were lucky to recieve as it was usually eventually physical (But not everyone in London is racist, its just that if you have 6million people in any city, you will meet some fucking retards… though it does look like the ratio of retards to average thinking people here is pretty skewed!

    Anyway dickheads, just exercise common sense… Are there some MINGING girls in Singapore damn fucking right… are there some fagbasters (love that word btw) certainly.. and some is understatement…
    but when you compare it to England (Sorry to keep refering back to England but im from there and hence use it as a reference) for every weasal fagbuster that you see here in Singapore you have 2 chavs, for every minging materialistic bitch in Singapore, you have a spotty fat teenage mum on an edge of a counsel estate in England hoping to get fucked so she can pass time before her “job seekers alowance” comes through.
    see.. its fucking stupid to generalize because on average girls are nice in England as in Singapore. On average guys in England are only 60% dickheads and thats the same in Singapore…Erm thats becuase guys are egotistical idiots by nature and given any oportunity they will behave like idiots. but yes we all like to talk about the not average as if they represent some sort of uniform for that society… but to the extent on this post is just fucking hilarious but embarssing… like really

    Lets not lie guys, its pretty fucking chill in Singapore. Yes its expensive… but there is low tax here. Wake the fuck up, go back home and pay tax so that fat teenage bitch can get fucked by your retard class mates who never made it past GCSE and your tax can support their pathetic excuses for lives. Singaporeans do not claim to be cultured and they do not claim to have class. They spend money on things they want that they work for that their society feels is neccessary. YES its stupid, but guess what retards thats fucking capitalism. I mean seriously for those who have been to america, PLEASE SHOW ME THE CLASS IN CALIFORNIA, that is a state the size of England, with about as much class as a backstreet “massage” parlour in Geylang. Capitalism comes with a cost… you can be smart enough to see it and CHOOSE whether to ignore parts of it or to conform.
    Most conform becuase it is easier and humans do what is easier like keyboard bashing about politics when in reality we all know about enough politics to get by in a drunken conversation

    For the rest of all the anger on this wall just know this. Singapore took 40 years to achieve ECONOMICALLY what the west has done in maybe 100’s of years. BUT socially and environmentally even, Singapore is lagging far behind. hmm why… becuase soical factors dont change over night.. Singapores national languages and therfore Singapores people are; Mandarin (chinese descendants), tahmil (indian descendants) and Malays . Thats 3 different cultures embeded in language and culture and then English to “unite” all. Thats not an easy task. As you guys probably correctly pointed out there was an idiot here who pretended to be a westerner to try and give a bit of western bashing in return.. but you can see through it, becuase being western isnt just typing English, its being English. And Singaporeans cant be Singaporean yet because 40 years is just frankly too short to have 3 completely different cultures come to one.

    BUT what Singapore has achieved is that 3 DIFFERENT culutres can live side by side and GENUINELY deal with it… (not LOVE IT) but deal with it and create a country which has shit loads to shout about.. which is truck loads more than what is happening in the west..

    3 different cultures kept a government in place, that created a tiger economy from a fishing villaige in the time it took the USA to drop two nuclear bombs, deploy Napalm on innocent civilians and start the most ridiuclous war in the middle east. Im an idiot for comparing things like that, but sometimes idiots only understand idiots, and maybe its in my nature being British and all to give as good and fight for the underdog… but still, you guys need to seriously get laid…i was gonna delete everything i wrote and just leave it as… you guys need to get laid… but no one likes time wasting!
    Enjoy guys.. and try and look at things a bit more positive… Trust me the locals here dont care about what you think and why you think it..they just wanna buy cars la and bang girls.. and lets be honest everyone has their way of achieving their goals.. if youuuuuuuuuuuuuuu dont like it then guess what you can do………………. fuck off home

    • Manuel Pfister

      That’s too long to read but I get the gist of it, you think Singapore compares favorably to London. Maybe it does, but that doesn’t make Singapore good because London sucks too. They’re both on our list of undesirable places along with the United States.

  • Thomas

    First thing I noticed about Singapore, was during my post-flight dump in Changi Airport; the toilets are a ‘little’ different from the European ones. My schlong hit the porcelain while sitting down. So whenever you take a dump, use the upside-down victory sign to nestle your European-sized penis in your ballsack, so it stays suspended over the porcelain. All the toilets, thus far, have had this, uhm, ‘adaption’, so take care.

    Another thing I’ve noticed is most of the girls here have thin, sexy legs. I think this is natural selection at work, as the locals would be unable to inseminate the fatties. That’s a pro.

    Also, the Singaporean writing style is annoying. Please learn some syntax and grammar. And Jesus, too many adjectives; no need to impress us, guys. I can’t understand how English can be one of the official languages here. Sure, speak Singlish, no problem, I can live with that, but how can the syntax be *that* fucked up if they learn writing in school?

  • johnathan

    Okay, so I’ve read through this article and the majority of the comments and I am extremely offended by how you blatantly insult us Singaporeans. Of course, I would agree that some points are valid ,how the cost of living is high ect. but you seem to against our whole nation. Retardation of the locals? Are you fucking kidding me? I’m fourteen so I’m sure I could fit right into your category of dumb little adolescents. And undoubtedly you will give yet another disabled reply or perhaps no response to this comment at all. For fuck sake, we’re all human. We experience emotions, we’re alive. You make us seem like dumb animals, inferior to you in all ways in your little fucked up article. And god dammit, I don’t care how important tourism is to our economy. If all tourist were like you, thank god they aren’t (I converse with some), then I would rather there be no attractions, no hotels, no nothing at all. Would that not be more fitting of how you describe our hospitality and services towards tourist? You seem to be a stuck up, self centered bitter individual. Can’t you just get on with life and appreciate it? What the fuck is your problem calling locals retarded. Singlish happens to be a colloquial and unique part of our nationality. And sherwintayerjie is absolutely right about you, although I would not support the racist insults but I really really really hope you get hit by a truck.

  • Traitor chiongster liao

    Kudos lads, your article is right on the money. I came here for 2 years, boss sent me here to fix the office retardation. Singapore has some good points and I have made some good friendships here with some locals but by and large fuck em, what a racist brain dead society without an identity, not quite asian, live like westerners, then attack westen culture? huh?Even the mainland chinese hate them. Asian ang moh I call my local mates, they love that one. Some of my laughs;

    – To say “sorry lah” when I trip some Singtard who cuts in from of me on the MRT queue
    – Laughing at the haircuts, some must spend a truckload on gel, kinda like a retarded Elvis.
    – Appaling dress sense, blokes here dress really bad, guys do some research on what a business shirt should be.
    – Flirting with the office girls who think they are hot, they love the attention but of course have no idea I think they are as boring as batshit and mostly very unattractive (except they have thin waists and some can dress well).
    – Bagging how soft the guys are, mummy’s boys. What I don’t get is these guys do 2 years ns? harden up! Only thing I can put it down to is ns breaks their spirit completely and deliberately.
    – Gardens by the bay? WTF is that abomination. yet locals are proud of that garbage.
    – How rich they are? Haha! Sure there is money here but most Singaporeans don’t have any. Living at home and borrowing 200k at 30 to buy a faggy 3 series ain’t rich!
    – Jobs for locals hysteria. Wake up singtards, most of you work for foreign companies, who come here to make coin in Asia, don’t like it vote in nationalist retard party and kick out the foreign companies. See what happens then dipshits. Foreigners don’t come here cause Singapore and Singaporeans are so awesome, they come to do business, make money and fuck off.
    – Locals that run for cover as a bit of rain comes. Sissys.
    – How shit the food is, food lovers heaven? Fuck off to that. Some nice restaurants though, but they ain’t owned or run by locals.
    – Going to BKK and watching these little boys on their boys weekends. In their faggy groups, timid little boys, but back home they think they are sexual superstars and the thai women grovel over them. Errr wrong Singtards, they laugh at you, trust me on that one. funny shit.
    – shopping here is shit, I’ve been shopping here many times and rarely see anything I’d buy.

    Shit I’m realizing how long this list could be, I better stop!

    The pros;
    – Changi airport is efficient, is great, probably as its run by Indians and filos.
    – nice condos

    Err, not much else! As my boss who sent me here said, “best thing about singapore is leaving the place”, not a truer word said. Each day is so entertaining though so I am grateful.

    • Annoymous

      2 years army? We can kick your ass anytime we want to. Why don’t you try picking a fight in the pub instead of being a keyboard warrior

      Both of you talk big only. No quality at all.

  • john

    wow, sexist AND homophobic. i gave up after the second paragraph. keep up the great writing!

    • Charlie Bushmeister

      What is sexist or homophobic about the first two paragraphs?

      • sherwintayerjie

        Douchey white guy gets burned by a Singaporean chick in a club for looking like a dingbat; goes on the internet and launches into a meandering tirade about how the entire country sucks and all the girls in it are whores and all the men are faggots. Yeah, real smooth bro. Let me guess, Attica? There are about a million just like you with the same complaint.

        I know you think beating your chest about your simian manliness will get you laid here, but my country is not the same land of inbred pony-backing filth your supremacist ass sprung forth from. Girls here don’t measure a man’s worth by the size of his ego. Sure, some of them might measure you by the size of your wallet, but it might be worth it to note that like most expat morons (yourself, for example) who fall off the turnip wagon and roll into the nearest Singaporean club, you were probably standing in the middle of a hooker joint on those occasions, most likely on a recommendation from another myopic asshole.

        • Manuel Pfister
          • sherwintayerjie

            To Manuel: A huge proportion of your mom should go suck a dick, fuckface. Way to go with disabling comments on your other reply. What’s the matter? Can’t handle someone with superior firepower? Unfortunately for you not everyone in Singapore is a dumbass; a large chunk of us would rather lobotomise ourselves with electric screwdrivers than fall into the same socially-challenged demographic that in your equivalent of a “society” would have given rise to a chunky wad of horseshit like you.

          • Manuel Pfister

            LOL. Come on tell us how you really feel?

            You are the second idiot to cry about “disabled replies”, the number of nested replies is a hard limit that applies to everybody, obviously.

          • sherwintayerjie

            You are confusing crying with yelling at a stupid white mother fucker, dickhead. Really, is “LOL” the best you could come up with? It’s not even from your generation!

          • Manuel Pfister

            Hmm… are you sure you don’t just envy our normal adult sized dicks? You seem to have a real chip on your shoulder. Asian girls seem to love them.

          • Charlie Bushmeister

            Boys, please, behave. I tried to give general guidance on Singapore, not attack specific people. Generally though when people respond with such vitriol to a general observation it means a nerve has been struck.

            sherwintayerjie, I suggest you try to get your anger issue under control, it’s making you an unhappy person.

          • sherwintayerjie

            Also, about how I REALLY feel? Let me summarise this in the sort of foul low-evolved male grunting that douchebags like you and Mr Charlie the Bush Master here will understand: Every country has a few dumbasses, I’m talking to two perfect examples right now: Every country has gold-diggers, and I will go out tonight and fuck a smoking hot example, while you tubby over-the-hill white boys stand there with your dick in your hands spewing hate speech at people who get more out of life than you. The world is materialistic, so get with the program. Letting it run your life is meaningless, but surfing it for shits once in a while is fun. So sorry that you don’t possess the mental capacity to comprehend more than one social interaction at a time.

          • Manuel Pfister

            Keep going.

            “Every country has a few dumbasses,”

            Do note that Singapore has way more than it’s fair share though…

          • sherwintayerjie

            Classic dickbrain tactic at work again; trying to appear high and mighty above an issue when you’ve got egg on your faces. Damn right you are touching a nerve you morons, are you fucking stupid? What else were you expecting when you’re insulting an entire nationality based on your own inadequacies. Has your primitive cognitive ability disavowed you ability to understand the simplest form of the damn English language? That is the entire point of what I’ve been saying you stupid white mother fucker. That the world has no room for idiots like you, and someone should have euthanised your mom by punching her in her trailer trash uterus before the ill-fated day you were conceived.

          • Charlie Bushmeister

            You’re a racist dick.

          • Manuel Pfister

            I find him amusing.

          • Manuel Pfister

            “What else were you expecting when you’re insulting an entire nationality based on your own inadequacies.”

            Like many Singaporeans, it seems like your English reading, writing and comprehension is not really up to par. The insults were clearly based on Singaporean inadequacies.

        • Charlie Bushmeister

          I love how the only defense you dumbasses have is personal attacks.

          • sherwintayerjie

            Damn right it’s a personal attack dumbnuts. Sure, because I am totally going to enter into sensible reparte with a guy who is on a one-man quest to grow a second penis out the side of his head by constantly telling himself that he is an alpha male surrounded by “dumbass” people who should worship him. You do realise that your entire series is a personal attack on Singaporeans, right? Or has your internal personality cult addled your ability to discern reality from the smoke you blow up your ass?

          • Manuel Pfister

            A huge proportion of Singaporeans have made themselves worthy of attack, see the other comments this article and this one, it hilarious. I think Singaporeans secretly love to be insulted. They certainly love trying to defend themselves on the internet in broken English, it seems almost like a national pastime.

          • sherwintayerjie

            Also, I am pretty sure you’re an American, given your inability to defend yourself without resorting to your “I am a pompous asshole who is trying desperately to demonstrate to the world that I’ve transcended this argument by being holier-than-thou” plan.

          • Philantropy

            I love how your only response is to call them dumbasses, if you’re so great why don’t you try responding maturely? But you’re not are you?

        • sherwintayerjie

          Awwwww, poor widdle fat kids wanna cry? How does it feel to be on the receiving end of racial slurs you dense mother fuckers? Also Manuel, it’s “your”, Mr English.

          No amount of “door opening” is going to make a hole big enough for you fat fucks to fit in anywhere in our society. Just do everyone a favour and fuck off.

          • Manuel Pfister


          • Charlie Bushmeister

            A quick perusal of your Facebook profile finds that both you and your girlfriend are overweight, so it’s funny that you repeatedly accuse me of being fat like you. Another internet tough guy who turns out to be a tubby needledick pussy. Who could have imagined?

          • Manuel Pfister

            Not to mention very gay and effeminate looking.

          • Charlie Bushmeister

            At least he’s a good fisherman.

          • sherwintayerjie

            Do you see me complaining about girls not giving me enough attention? No. Because I’m not some white fatass who feels the need to compensate for his physical attributes by getting into a pissing contest over why everyone should pay more attention to him. I’m large, loud and proud, and I don’t feel the need to cover my face with a dollar store superhero mask. You must be one hella ugly fucker to feel this way.

          • Manuel Pfister

            Your reading comprehension isn’t very good. Charlie’s not complaining about girls not giving him enough attention, he’s explaining to would-be visitors what a shitty place Singapore is and how the stupid socially retarded local women are no exception. Thanks for commenting though, needle dick.

        • Laughing Expat

          I know what you mean. It’s so hard for us Caucasians here. The Singaporean girls only want these tough, masculine, strong Singaporean guys. We don’t stand a chance.

          • Philantropy

            Well maybe they prefer guys who actually make good husbands, rather than just fat wallets. Get it? FAT

    • Manuel Pfister

      I wish people would stop using this gay term homophobic. Phobia is a fear of. Disliking something is not the same thing as fearing it. I don’t like pickles but that doesn’t mean I fear them. What you mean is anti-gay maybe, but the article is clearly not that either, the author is just wishing all you homos would keep your personal issues off the evening news, grownups have more important things to worry about.

  • Just Sayin’

    Was directed to this post from another site. From the prospective of an ex-singaporean who was born overseas, the author’s pretty much on the money when it comes to some issues, i.e. the costs of living, duty free hassles etc. I used to have American and European pals who shared a similiar profile to the author during their days in sing, and I witnessed quite a bit of what he was talking about in his nightly adventures. The comment about Singaporean women was kinda myopic though, and the reason why he encountered so many gold-diggers was because he set himself up as a prime target by hanging around the wrong crowd! There are some decent Singaporean gals around, but quite a few I know are Ivy League types, their families were either high level civil servants, academics or the occasional CEO types, so the likelihood of them going “me so horny” for a transient expat who’s lower down the social ladder than them is pretty much close to nil. The SPG types, well, you’re gonna find their equivalent in abundance in any major city so long as you hang with that crowd!
    On the “retardation” comment, that’s just patently insulting and outrageous! I myself was a “local”, served the military too (though I don’t make a big deal outta it, the training and experience was fun though), and for some years lived as a local with friends and associates from both the local and expatriate community. I need not remind the author that sweeping accusations smack of bigotry and ignorance, and given his self-professed propensity to drink and party excessively, would lead many to wonder what sorta character he would be if they bumped into him in real life. Yes, quite a few locals have very little exposure to what goes on in many other parts of the world, and their naivety and silliness shows out from time to time, but even in spite of that, I don’t see the need to degrade and ridicule them in writing, especially when one is STILL a guest and visitor in their country. I don’t pull the same stunts when I am overseas anywhere, and I think its only decent to keep silent if you’ve nothing good to say rather than to blurt it all out and regret it later. I don’t blame the locals so much whenever I encounter stupidity and ignorance coming out of them, I say its just a case of a bad government policy which has been many years in the making (initiated even BEFORE the author arrived in sing probably!), but it comes from the very same planners who welcome “expats” of such character to its shores.
    I noticed from the comments here that there are many foreigners who are highly critical of Singaporeans and Singapore as a whole. I can understand the cultural differences to some extent (together with the daily annoyances too!), but I also sense a fair degree of arrogance, bigotry and immaturity in some of the retorts. To make it clear, I’m not trying to “defend Singapore” (how the hell do you defend a whole effing country when its so diverse, its NOT a military or political confrontation, and when you aren’t even one of ‘em no more??), but I’ll call a spade a spade here, YOU the poster, was way out of line in besmirching an entire community when your understanding of all things Singaporean is still, for the most part, shallow and juvenile. If my last visit to sing is anything to go by, I guess its a shame that the exptriate community is now crawling with the likes of drunken over-sexed asshats, instead of the solidly conservative, professional and family-loving types I had the pleasure of knowing when I was on the island. If you guys want a role model for best behaviour for westerners in sing, look no further than the folks from the US Naval Region Singapore -Well behaved, disciplined, level-headed for the most part (and when they’re not its probably out of sight as when they’re having fun in their own Terror Club!), and you’d never find any insulting, racist, bigoted or aggravating remark coming out of them when it comes to their “great place to be”, and that’s Singapore. So to the author, have your fun, have a good time, but IF you can, be nice about it and don’t piss off the innocent who have no beef with you, some of those guys you seem intent on denigrating may have gone through a heck of a lot more in life and done a lot more for their loved ones than you have ever attempted in all your years of partying, getting laid and engaging in frat-house escapdes.

    • Manuel Pfister

      Blah blah blah… I love how you brand a bunch of scumbag overpaid government workers in the local dictatorship “civil servants” that are above “transient travelers”. From what I’ve read, one of the most disdainful and shameful things about Singapore is definitely its government and appallingly overpaid “ministers”.

      “On the “retardation” comment, that’s just patently insulting and outrageous!” -> Go read the comments here many of which prove your assessment wrong.

      • Just Sayin’

        “Government workers”? “Local dictatorship”?? Have you actually READ what I have written, or are you just trying to wind people up to the extent life as you know it on the island is essentially over?
        Dude, if I were you, I’d seriously start re-evaluating all the crap sprouted here, and a sidebar, when you’re up shitcreek, don’t expect no help from the foreign mission wherever you’re from, you’re basically hung out to dry if you make yourself the #1 badass in town! From one foreigner to another, don’t say I didn’t warn yer’! LOL!

  • Singaporean Male

    A website dedicated to swinging on a shoestring, by a bunch of overgrown teenagers with too much libido and not much of anything of substance. You guys had a bad experience in Singapore and it makes me proud as a Singaporean. Not all the girls in Singapore hang out in clubs. And not all the club girls are gold diggers. And of those that rejected you I bet a fair number just saw right through you for the hollow shells that you are.

    • OH MY NAME

      Brilliant answer bro,
      Cheers from India.

    • sherwintayerjie

      I’m pretty sure they’re not that hollow bro, have you seen the amount of fat between each of their ears?

  • Nolan

    There is a gem of truth in Charlie’s article. The Singaporeans who reply negatively with a misguided sense of patriotism probably don’t know what they don’t know; Singapore is like the Matrix with the population mentally straight jacketed with a overwhelming sense of inferior complexity (as seen by the need to seek and trumpet international benchmarks)

    I’ll grant it to the government that we have the ‘hardware’ part of things that may be claimed as word class (MRT aside). What Charlie is pointing out is the lack of the ‘software’ in the people part of things. It’s the environment for most part but I will not use that as an excuse. Let’s put in simply, what most Singaporeans thinks as so important in life (psst, this is what the Government wants you to think) is not, period. What is missing is well rounded people who can figure out how to live for themselves instead of a vision on how they should live painted by the government.

    And yes, I missed my cheap alcohol. Hell, the first week I was back, I went for a drink at one of those fancy places in Club Street and was shocked by how much they charge for a shot of Johnny Walker!

  • DC

    Hello I am a Singaporean male and i read this article and its comments with some amusement.

    Here is my two cents on a couple of points raised-

    I agree with Thomas’ comment that the women here are generally physically unattractive compared with women in neighbouring countries. So even a barely hot female becomes a rare commodity here in Singapore, whereas the same female could become quite average if placed in Taiwan or Eastern Europe for instance. This means that the Singapore girls you would even consider dating tend to have a high sense of self-entitlement by virtue of the masses of unattractive females raising their relative market value. Simple economics. So yes, it is probably not worth it trying to bed Singapore girls since for the same effort you could get hotter girls elsewhere. But if you look outside the clubbing and SPG circles, there are genuinely nice and sane girls to be found.

    Mental Retardation is defined by IQ and Singapore consistently ranks as having one of the highest IQ’s in the world (go check). Singaporeans are definitely not stupid. However, i noticed a lot of Singaporean’s tend to mentally focus on concrete mundane matters and have little inclination towards abstract thought. Also, I think the paternalistic, safe environment where everything is taken care of stifles creativity.since one does not have come up with life solutions for survival. The culture probably also plays a role: people tend to be more reserved about making decisions and airing their opinions, especially around strangers.

    An “Ah Beng” is kind of like a loutish, crude usually lowly-educated male individual who speaks in Singlish. An “Ah Lian” is the female counterpart. “Ang Mo” literally means red hair and refers to people of Caucasian descent, not neccesarily a derogatory term. Hope this helps.

    • Manuel Pfister

      Mental Retardation is defined by IQ and Singapore consistently ranks as having one of the highest IQ’s in the world (go check).

      Observation says those figures are bullshit. I’ve never been to a dumber country in my life. One explanation besides outright fraud in the statistics (I’ve noticed Singapore really prides itself about everything) may be simply that they are not taking truly random samples. If the bulk of your test results are not from common every day people such as those running hawker stalls the statistics are bullshit.

      • Philantropy

        “Your” observation. The observation of white supremacists. Its obvious what you’d think. Of course, a government statistic is probably more reliable than the opinion of a hick.

  • Demetrios

    I know I’m late in joining this post, but I’d still like to share a few thoughts on my adopted home, where I have been living for what now seems like an eternity. There’s a lot of good information to be gleaned from reading all of the above posts, and I wish I had known some of this before I made the decision to move here, a decision I’m beginning to regret. My post doesn’t pertain only to girls but to the populace in general and to my experiences in S’pore, so forgive me for using this forum as an opportunity to take an emotional dump.

    I’m lucky that I have a job here which, albeit very demanding and time-consuming, gives me great satisfaction and also remunerates me quite generously (at least I would consider). I won’t give figures since I know it will almost definitely attract a few patronizing sneers from idiotic, spoiled locals who believe money is the be all and end all. Suffice it to say that even if I’m not owning a condo overlooking Robertson Quay, I live comfortably and can easily afford some of the things that I consider enjoyable in life…splurging on a nice meal and vacations abroad. So much for the financial aspect of this post, that I know is the sole preoccupation of some people sharing their comments in this forum. I am also very fortunate that I’m surrounded in my workplace by a wonderful group of people, locals by and large, who are the polar opposites of the “types” I’m about to describe. So it’s ridiculous and unfair to generalize and say all are the same.

    To all ang mohs (girls and boys) who are interested in moving here, be warned that this is a very difficult place to integrate into. This place is filled with some of the most pathetic and annoying creatures around…mostly people of a younger age group who never learned the value of humility from their parents and grandparents. Charmless, apathetic, excessively vain organisms, devoid of any warmth or humanoid qualities, who spend around 85% of their existence either wandering through a shopping mall searching for a new designer item to make them more look more elegant or staring into their f#*&ing iPhones. The concept of “class” completes escapes them…they confuse it with status and wealth. It happens so often that I meet someone “classy” and find out within minutes that they are not locals, but rather Malaysian-born and bred.

    If there’s one thing that stands out in making this breed so disdainful, it’s that they are unabashedly xenophobic. These are the ones shouting about how foreigners (ang mohs, PRCs and Indians) are stealing their jobs and ruining their country when instead they should be thinking about what skills they need to acquire to get local companies to hire them. On top of that, they formulate their entire opinion of a particular group of foreigners based on selected episodes, e.g. – the Ferrari incident, and fail to realize that there are many foreigners working tirelessly to improve this country and making a much bigger contribution than them. Instead of thinking about how cheap, indentured labourers are literally putting their lives at risk to build them new shopping plazas and metro lines, they’d rather complain about how dirty or rowdy these labourers are. This should be the most compelling reason for anybody considering a move here to seriously think twice.

    It bears reiterating that there is another group of S’poreans to whom I mean absolutely no malice whatsoever, the ones who’ve retained the charm and good humour so lacking in many of their compatriots, and who’ve been nothing but kind and welcoming.

    I’m sensing that this post is going to incite comments like “learn how to adapt”, “when in Rome do as the Romans do” or “if that’s how you fell, then get out.” To these people I have two answers: i) by adapting, does you mean behaving like an ungracious, kiasu prick like you? and ii) don’t worry, I’ll be out of here before you know it. And, best of luck in your next general elections.

    • Alexandros

      Hey man, I’d like to get your take on things. I am considering an imminent move to Singapore from San Francisco and am hearing tons of mixed ‘reviews’

      Would you mind discussing briefly over e-mail?(or even Skype?) I would owe you a beer if/when I come out there! You can reach me at alextril{at}

      Also, Demetrios, are you Greek?(Just a guess!)

      Thanks man. All the best.

  • joe

    its the same in any country. youve got to work hard for your score. unless youre paying.

  • Jeff Toh

    Hi Charlie,

    Good read. Your article is a little harsh but I won’t say you are wrong. It’s just the way the Singaporean culture is. They grew up in a results-oriented environment that is narrow-thinking, an environment where people who take the initiative to do something maybe be unduly punished because it is unusual and also, a popular one, “not following the rules”. So majority of them turn out to be really unadventurous and rigid. Those who pretend to take the moral high ground usually frown upon clubbing and nightlife in general. Especially the educated and better good-looking ones.

    You can’t fault for the girls for gold-digging really, they are just after all looking for results. The uneducated ones would be very much more blatant in their attempts. But yeah, that’s how it is in Singapore. Mink, Zouk, Butterfactory are good places to hang around at if you want a good night out. The other places are just filled with ‘ah bengs’ and ‘ah lians’, the uneducated, simple-minded and easily offended lot, not cool at all. Though ironically, you’ll be surprised to find out that most trust fund kids turn out to be ‘ah bengs’.

    • Manuel Pfister

      Can you enlighten us with the exact meaning of “ah beng”, “ah lian” and “ang mo”? What language is that? I get from context “ang mo” is a derogatory term for westerners. What about the others? Thanks.

  • Sebastian

    There is nothing to add here. You summed it up! :D

  • Thomas

    I don’t mind gold-diggers. We are all living in a capitalistic society. Men want good looks from women and women want men with resources. It is a fair game. You also have to sometimes look at the mirror. Do you see a handsome, muscular dude? Or do you see a fat middle-aged man with balding hair? Even gold-diggers may not want gold from you if you are a hot Italian model type. The world is fair, believe it or not. You have to offer something in order to get something in return. So let’s get real, and stop blaming women for being a gold-digger.

    Having said that, it is also true that Singaporean women are more materialistic than others. They don’t hide that fact either (in many other societies, women at least pretend not to be a gold-digger, but in Singapore, they don’t try hard to hide it perhaps because “materialism” is strongly embedded in the Chinese culture. It is a general wisdom in Singapore that, when you hire a domestic maid, you should hire one who used to work for a Chinese Singaporean woman. Because they treat their maids very badly, the maids are likely to be grateful to you if you treat her decently. A person who treats her maid badly isn’t going to treat her man nicely either. This is fine with me as I have no intention to have a long-term relationship with Singaporean women.

    But the real problem with Singaporean women is that they are not the prettiest kind. As a matter of fact, they are among the least attractive ones in Asia. They cannot be even compared to Japanese, Koreans, Eastern Chinese (Beijing, for example), or Uzbeks (strictly speaking, Uzbeks are not Asians). If you’ve been to Tokyo and Seoul and have seen women there, you know what I mean. They are just in a completely different league (both look and attitude-wise). It is also easy to find more attractive women in other South East Asian countries. Of course, on average, Singaporean women are perhaps better-looking than Thais and Indonesians. But the average doesn’t mean much when you are trying to pick up a woman in the top percentile. It is way easier to get a super-pretty, model-quality beauty in Jakarta or Bangkok (I am not talking about working girls; you can easily pick up 22-year old beautiful college girls there if you know where to go) than picking up an average-looking, attitude-filled Singaporean girl in Zouk. So the cost-benefit ratio is extremely low in Singapore. So I stopped picking up Singaporean girls, and only do my girl-picking business in Tokyo and Seoul (and occasionally in Jakarta). I am fortunate in that I spend 1/2 of the year in either Tokyo and Seoul.

    So I do agree with Charlie that one of the biggest–if not the biggest–downside of living in Singapore is the lack of quality girls. They are just too unattractive considering the cost (sorry, my finance background manifests here :)).

    • Sebastian

      Many valid points Thomas! I agree that the overall optic/attitude mix can be better in other parts of Asia, in Japan it is most certainly but I found it comes with the big minus that the girls in TYO have language difficulties with English. BUT they are very open, accessible and eager to learn the language and are very greatful if you teach it to them. Also at least in Japan many girls insist of paying their part of the bill and it’s not a ‘show’. I don’t mind paying for the evening if a girl is nice (and by that I don’t mean looks but overall attitude).

      I found many of the women here in SG are pretty though. My approach is/was to not go skirt hunting all the time but rather look for a relationship or if you are too busy for that a FWB type of thing. As friends the SG ladies are great I think and the more you get to know them and the local culture (and the more you get into their head) it will be easier to develop an approach. I know the motto is ‘never be friends if you want to bed the woman’ I circumvented that rule many times. Reason being here in SG the points I made above, a) the local approach is different, b) you need a door opener and if you are good friends with a lot of girls they introduce you to their friends and you have a HUGE advantage because that gives you legitimacy from the start. Just don’t overdo it and try to screw all of your friends friends (some of them are ok lol). ;-)

      • Thomas

        Sebastian, thank you for sharing your thoughts. I made many valid, informed points.

        Japanese girls are perhaps the most desirable girls to date with (and even marry to) but, as you noted, the language barrier can be a problem. Fortunately, I speak some Japanese and fluent Korean, which helps a lot (interestingly, a lot of Japanese girls are learning Korean, perhaps due to the sudden popularity of K-POP). Tokyo girls are often spoiled. I found that girls in smaller cities (Fukuoka, Kyoto, Saitama province, etc.) are more genuine and warm. My current Japanese girlfriend is from Kyoto.

        I know beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so I do not like to criticize others’ beauty standard. However, I noticed that different ethnic groups have very different standards for judging “beauty”. Some of my Caucasian friends find some Singaporean girls pretty while I (and other Asian colleagues) wouldn’t lay a finger on them even if we are paid to have sex with them. Seriously. Even among Asians, the standards differ quite a lot. The problem is that the South East Asian look of Singaporean women simply do not appeal to Koreans like myself.

        You have to understand that the perspective could vary wildly depending on your origin. For example, my European friends think Singapore has great service (because the service in Europe, especially in a country like France, simply sucks). But I find the level of service in Singapore is not acceptable because I am spoiled by the extremely high level of service in Japan and Korea. In Kyoto, I once left my bag in a taxi (I took it from Osaka, which is 2 hour away from Tokyo). The driver went back to Osaka, found my bag in the back seat, and returned all the way to Kyoto to give it back to me without expecting any reward. Same with women. When you are spoiled with Japanese and Korean girls, you just cannot bring yourself to like Singaporean women who are much more self-centered and less attractive.

        But too much generalization is dangerous, of course. I am talking about the general aspects about the Singaporean women, which cannot speak to everyone. So I agree with you that there ARE some pretty Singaporean women. I know several great ladies. The problem is that the ratio is simply too low (when compared to other countries). When you can have a movie star quality woman in Seoul with a couple of days of work, it simply doesn’t make sense to work so hard for a much less attractive Singaporean woman. Maybe I haven’t been lucky :)

  • Sebastian

    Really? When were you there last time? I find it 100x better than the sleazy shitholes along Clarke Quay.

    Here is the thing: For 100$ per drink I would agree, it is a waste. But we are talking about 20$ here, I gave the exchange rate above. Go to Berlin, New York, Moscow(!!!),Tokyo and show me how to cut well below this line. This is nothing but the market price for a drink in such an establishment. I hate wasting money but I also know when the price is reasonable. In that case I either stay at home or enjoy myself.

    I went to CUT yesterday. Is it too much to pay 116$ for a Filet Mignon? Maybe, but it was a great experience and 1A Quality. Bottom line is, we spend so much money on crap everyday that we should stop looking after peanuts in order to have a better life quality.

    • Manuel Pfister

      A little less than a year ago. Super lame club, one of the lamest nights of my life. Singapore is not even remotely comparable to Berlin, New York or Moscow – never been to Tokyo. The point is that Southeast Asia is overflowing with cooler places than Singapore for small fractions of the price.

      Some of the crap I don’t waste my money on is going out in Singapore. I’d rather spend it on plane tickets, vacations, etc.

      • Sebastian

        Hmm not sure if it changed somewhat, was that a weekend night? I am sometimes surprised but even the ‘middle of the week’ nights are sometimes pretty good where you wouldn’t find a soul elsewhere. I think one problem is SG lacks of enough Quality Nightclubs, I hate going to the same places all the time due to lack of proper options. I think we have to put the price aspect away when talking about this issue, No wonder if they are higher priced because they probably know there is no competition. Look at KuDeTa, it’s even worse!

        I agree. Don’t waste too much money on this. Go out once or twice week or so (I have friends who go like 3-4 nighys a week drinking – that is just nuts) and keep the saved cash for the travel fund.

  • Sebastian

    Being a regular visitor and even living in SG part time I have to say, I like the local girls a lot. They are mostly educated and have style (ok it comes with a price but I buy branded clothes and stuff for myself as well so why discriminate them for that?). You have the Gold Digger types in every society but seriously I found many decent, friendly and super nice women here that do not have this attitude at all. As for the guys, what about you don’t see them just as competition on the way to your next fuck but maybe try to socialize a little.

    I can just shake my head about smuggling booze into a club. As soon as I enter a club I want to have fun, dance & enjoy. It is not the principle (for me at least) to get totally hammered there. I like to have a few drinks and those cost money. Went to Pangaea last night, it’s 21$ for a Gin Tonic and if you tip the guys well you get really decent drinks. I do not find that expensive, thats 13 EUR in of of SG’s top clubs with upper class clientele as I would call it. That’s a steal IMHO.

    Even though I’m not a banker but have my own company I can afford 13 EUR for a drink. Get real people!

    • Manuel Pfister

      I’ve been to Pangea and it sucks. I own my own company too and I can afford a $100 drink if I want to why waste it?

  • Thomas

    I’ve been living in Singapore for about 3 years, and I am an Asian-American (ethnically Korean). There is some truth in what Charlie said. Singapore is a country that “functions” well, but it is not a country with a lot of charm. I don’t want to overgeneralize a nation or a people, but it is true that Singaporeans are not the most friendly people on earth. The level of service is very poor–especially compared to other comparable Asian countries such as Japan, Korea or Taiwan. Even the shop clerks at a very high end shop such as Chanel or Dolce & Gabana are often downright rude. People don’t say “thank you” when you offer them help or “sorry” when they inconvenienced you.

    But you cannot attribute this entirely to people. This is mainly because there is no competition in Singapore. In Japan or Korea, businesses compete fiercely; they die if they don’t provide better services and products. In Korea, the 1-year survival rate of a new restaurant is merely around 30%. The 5-year survival rate is less than 10%. But in Singapore, competition is controlled and prices are often fixed; businesses do not have as much incentive to provide better services as those in other countries.

    As for the Singlish, I was told more than once by Singaporeans that I speak “American Slang” but they speak “British English”. Maybe true, but this always puts a smile on my face. I went to two Ivy League colleges, but I can understand only 80% of Singlish. The real problem of Singlish is, though, that, because many Singaporeans do not have a good command of English, their verbal expression becomes quite crude, which can be often construed as being rude or unfriendly. But you should appreciate the fact that English (or Singlish or whatever) works in this country. I cannot imagine living in Vietnam or China where I cannot communicate at all with 98% of the population.

    Some aspects of Singapore do bother me. But you must understand that different cultures have different norms. American culture has some positives but also has a lot of negatives. Singapore can offer a lot of things–the dynamic economic environment provides a great career opportunity (that’s why I am here), and the low tax-rate mostly negates the high cost of living. It is also safe and clean. So, you should have a more balanced view about Singapore.

    Also, I suggest you stop complaining about Singaporean women being gold diggers. All women are; it is a matter of how much they want. A girl in a poor country will be happy with $10, but a girl from a rich country will want more. You like girls with good looks, right? Should I blame you for “look-digger”? Girls want men with means. That’s only natural. If you cannot afford women, it is your problem, but not theirs.

    By the way, I am one of those banker-type you hate. But I do not use my expense account when picking up a girl :)

    • Charlie Bushmeister

      Very good comment, thanks.

  • jon

    Unfortunately,the general perception from local girls is White tourists fuc-ks anything that moves, therefore they prefer local guys. This is the reason why its hard to pick up chicks who genuinely want your company. All the clubs u mentioned in your article has loads of SPGs who would suck u dry financially. Most locals do not mix with whites.local attractive girls clubs with friends and rarely entertain strangers outside of their clique. Unless u got the swag, the looks and Body, u may get lucky and score one for the night. For white guys try club attica which happens to play good progressive house music. Lots of game there. koreans, china chinese, Malay spgs and many sluts to choose from. But as a local i will avoid these clubs. Fuc-k them all.

  • Mike

    I’m visiting Singapore now, after reading all of the comments I can’t even remember how I got here but I would like to say this:
    Your title says “Part one – The Cons” so not sure why people were not prepared for some westerners (I’m a westerner too) view of what the cons on Singapore are.
    He was bound to get a few things wrong and did not understand certain events in his experience to the full level.
    Just out of interest sake is there a part 2?

    Perhaps I can help the readers make a bit more sense of your article.

    1. The first paragraph is pretty irrelevant to the topic, but it’s an intro which describes the status of a country, you should really be getting that kind of information elsewhere.
    “Is really on the rise” well no, it’s pretty much risen” but that’s a pro so we’ll leave that out.

    2. The mention of cost – spot on! if your idea of a fun time as a single guy is drinking than the cost of alcohol is definitely a con and since this site is all about cost saving it has a right to be in this article, if you have money to spend you are reading the wrong article.
    That said a great time can be had if you don’t mind spending money on booze or don’t need to be drunk to have fun.

    3. Duty Free – That’s a great tip and helps resolve the problem of the con which is the cost of booze.

    4. Pre-drinking – Another cost saving tip! although if you need your drink that bad it may be better to stay wherever the cheap drink is.

    5. Networking – It is a tip, I’ll give him that, although I wouldn’t bother with it, the types of places you will typically find the “trust fund kids” are not going to be places where any cost saving would be done, but if you do find yourself in this situation and have no problem sponging off of other people (trust fund or not) then sure it’s another tip on how to avoid a con.

    6. Flasking – Erm… again it is a tip that may help you avoid the cost of booze, but seriously don’t do it if you need it that bad and the cost is that big of a problem consider an alternate destination for having a good time on the cheap as a single guy.

    7. Happy Hours – Great Tip

    8. Chinatown, Food courts, and Hawker Stalls – Another great tip.

    9. Mention of the MRT – Another good tip.

    10. Singapore Girls – Complete unfair generalization, these girls the writer speaks of are most likely SPG’s so that is a Con even though not specifically mentioned, but if you’re saving cash you should avoid chicks like this in any case I’ve had plenty fun with local Singapore girls.
    If I may add another con, Singapore girls don’t put out that easy and when I say fun, I mean in the non sexual way 9/10, the other 1/10 you will get lucky, but if your only goal is to get laid GS girls are have to be put down as a con.

    11. Sausage fest – if you plan on going to those upscale clubs you will find a number of issues especially the whole cost saving thing, I feel I have pretty much covered this.

    12. The whole Fagbagster thing – I don’t really see it as a con since these are few and far between and can be found world wide in any case, also the way somethings are done here is just different, if you don’t like different then it’s a con, but if you cant deal with different people don’t leave home.

    13. Retardation of locals – It’s the most efficiently run country in just about every aspect, so retardation or not your cheap single guy trip should not be hindered, and I would not expect bad service, I have mostly only ever got good service, which is more than I can say about my trips to Europe and the States.
    There maybe some miss-communication so I’ll put it down as a con but it’s not that bad.

    My personal conclusion you can have a great time as a single guy in Singapore, but not in the way the writer would like to have fun and not really on a budget.

    Hope it all helps give a more constructive view on the cons of having fun as a single guy on a budget in Singapore.
    Seams like the writer would prefer Thailand.

    Excuse typo’s, didn’t want to spend much time on this so deal….

    • Manuel Pfister

      I would be willing to bet some money that this rambling attempt a defense of Singapore is not written by a westerner as claimed but by some local. It reads like a “Singlish” speaker trying to write English. I won’t bother to try to respond to everything only the important parts:

      2. …if you have money to spend you are reading the wrong article.

      If you have money to spend you are reading the right article. Our articles aren’t about cost savings so much as capital preservation and not spending your money on dumb useless shit. In short, so you will continue to have “money to spend”. This point went over this guy’s head though.

      13. Retardation of locals – It’s the most efficiently run country in just about every aspect, so retardation or not your cheap single guy trip should not be hindered, and I would not expect bad service, I have mostly only ever got good service, which is more than I can say about my trips to Europe and the States.
      There maybe some miss-communication so I’ll put it down as a con but it’s not that bad.

      I have been to over 40 countries and Singapore most definitely is not the most efficiently run country in the world. Singapore is a third world retard fest wearing a first world mask. Singapore is one of the richest countries in the world, people often boast to me it has more millionaires per capita than any other country in the world (I haven’t verified that but I don’t disbelieve it either) and it’s super tiny so there isn’t so much to “run” in the first place. If this place wasn’t full of smart foreigners earning a fortune to keep things together they couldn’t keep the lights on. When you adjust for how much wealth they have it’s not efficiently run at all. Retardation is everywhere from the small things to the big things. Very poorly run for a first world country which I would not consider it. It may look first world on the surface but the mentality is third world all the way to the core.

      Secondly, when taking the price of things into consideration Singapore has hands down the worst service I’ve ever experienced. There is the retardation, the slowness and the bad value which create one gigantic shit sandwich in terms of the quality of the eating, drinking, hotel experience. Nowhere have I found such inept, incompetent and shitty service, even in 5 star hotels with >$30 drinks + tax + service. I really cannot deride the complete lack of any competence whatsoever in the hospitality industry in Singapore enough. The funny thing is it almost seems like some of the 5 star hotel bars have worse service than the street vendors – I guess when you only make 20 cents profit per transaction you cannot afford to fuck around for 10 minutes getting a menu, 20 minutes to make the drinks while fucking up the order, 10 more minutes to get the check, 10 minutes to bring change etc. I could go on and on but Singapore is not efficient and it does not have good service by any stretch of the imagination. Only someone that’s never been outside of Singapore could possibly come to the conclusion that Singapore is the most efficiently run city (I say city and not country because that’s all it deserves credit for – a medium sized city) and that it has “good service”.

      I have met no well-to-do foreigners that would agree with this commenter at all, they all agree with my viewpoint and the longer they’ve been here the less respect they have for Singapore and Singaporean’s. I have never been out drinking with wealthy foreigners that would ever defend Singapore or Singaporeans other than to say “well it’s easy to make money here”. All of them love to get the hell out of Singapore every chance they get.

      Seams [sic] like the writer would prefer Thailand.

      “Seams” like this Singaporean hasn’t read the article on Thailand. Thailand is better than Singapore but it’s no Vietnam. Vietnam, incidentally, is a country I would call the polar opposite of Singapore (and that is one of the highest compliments I can give, believe me).

  • Geophery Hams

    This article has gone on some serious tangents. I found this thread because I just want to find a decent social place for a drink that is a good mix of all people, including ladies. I’m sick of the usual recommendations that are normally full of banker wankers, gold diggers and foreign whores trying to fleece you. Can anyone help?

    • Manuel Pfister

      It’s tough, you pretty much just summarized what Singapore is all about.

  • Banafly

    Hey, i’m in Singapore for Christmas Week 2012 staying with relatives in Clark Quay. Whats my chances of meeting girls and where best would you go alone? I am 35 and athletic still, seeing as some people think everyone is fat and 75 on here!

    • Charlie Bushmeister

      Singapore is tough. I’d try to meet people during the day.

  • Gin.P

    If you’re looking for submissive ladies in Singapore, I guess this country will just disappoint you. Ladies here earn as much as men or perhaps even more than you, Therefore, you might have a better luck elsewhere (e.g. Vietnam, Ind, etc) if you’re looking for submissive ladies. Singaporean women don’t really care about how much you have in your pocket because they already earned all that by themselves.

    • Manuel Pfister

      You must be thinking of expat women living in Singapore, there are some of those and some gold diggers. However on a day to day basis, Singaporeans of both sexes continue to impress me with their blatant stupidity on virtually every interaction. A Singaporean equivalent of the NYC power cougar is exceptionally rare. A huge quantity of Singaporean chicks are not only dumb abut blatant gold diggers, some of the worst I’ve ever met.

  • Ashwin

    Sup Ah beng

  • Craig Himself

    I can finally lend a word about this “fagbaster” phenomenon:

    I have been getting quite interested in Korean music videos lately, especially by a few choice girl-groups, “SNSD” and “f(x)” and “Boa” in particular.

    Good good. Then I check out videos for the male group “Super Junior”.

    Well. All one needs to do is watch the video for their big hit “Sexy, Free and Single” ( and…

    …holy smokes.

    I mean don’t get me wrong: Their obvious singing and dancing kills are enviably awesome. I’d love to be able to do that.

    But. Those clothes and hairdos are so overpoweringly FAGGY that you almost have to turn away. See for yourself! THIS is what catches ten million views over there.

    (Meanwhile, the girl group “f(x)” achieved popularity mainly because one of its members is a blatantly butch lesbian.)

    All interesting, all confusing, all fascinating. Something is obviously Going On in this world.

    • Philantropy

      What you consider “faggy” maybe considered stylish in other parts of the world, besides western “emo” bands are also pretty faggy. Point is, its not a bad thing, just different.

      • Charlie Bushmeister

        I agree with you, those emo guys are faggy to the 10th power.