Charlie & Boris Summer Update Volume 2

Bulgarian Fashion Show

Since we’ve been kind of lazy about the summer updates I guess it’s time for a quick recap of the last week. Charlie has been called away to Southeast Asia due to an urgent business matter while I opted to hang back in Bulgaria for another couple of weeks. I believe he is currently cavorting around KL but I’m not sure. I will likely join him later but for the time being I’m having way too much fun here. If you’ve been following us on Facebook you have a rough idea of what we’ve been up to. Mainly it has involved bars, clubs, fashion shows … [Read more]

Hate Mail: Retard says what?

Monkey at Typewriter

We have been receiving a fair amount of fan mail over the last few months which we very much appreciate. Besides the fact that it’s nice to receive compliments it’s also nice to know that people appreciate what we’re doing and that we’re on the right track. But let’s face it… hate mail is always more fun. For one thing, for whatever reason, the haters more often seem to be complete bumbling retards that embarrass themselves far more than their target. It is on that note that I would like to present to you the following short but sweet hate mail from Balkan Guy (aka Dood McMan):

From: Balkan Guy
Date: Sat, … [Read more]

Obichem te Bulgaria!

Bulgarian Girls

Just as I felt the need to proclaim my undying love for Mexico, I too feel the need to make a similar proclamation of my amorous feelings toward the wonderful Republic of Bulgaria. It’s taken me a lot of world travel to truly appreciate how much this small country has to offer in one neat little package. I mean really, the only drawbacks of Bulgaria are a decrepit infrastructure ravaged by communism and the mafia douchebag infestation which is currently raging much as it is everywhere else in Eastern Europe. But really besides some holes in the road and the poser gangsters, there really aren’t any significant drawbacks to Bulgaria.

Let’s talk about all the … [Read more]

Greece: Greed, Graft and the Grim Reaper

Greek Default

The Greeks are totally fucked.

They’re not just a little fucked, like your car just got towed or you got drunk and accidentally banged a Ladyboy … No Greece is fucked big time, like waking up in a bathtub full of ice and your own blood in Bangkok and realizing your kidneys are already on the next flight to Vietnam.

It amazes me that people are still debating whether or not Greece will default. For the rest of us non-retards, it is a foregone conclusion. The real question is when they will default and how many other European countries they will take down with them. Clearly if the few solvent countries that are left in … [Read more]

Charlie & Boris Summer Update Volume 1

Green Shots

We are nursing the kind of hangovers that would make Amy Winehouse cringe. We had a hell of a time and a hell of a 5 day bender. We arrived in Sofia last week at which point we wasted no time jumping straight into an all night drinking session culminating in an orgy of tequila shots at Briliantin (one of our favorites). If you have been following us on Facebook you know that we then headed directly to Sozopol to attend Sozopol Fest for the Juli Sutrin (July Morning) Party. It was an outstanding weekend at bargain basement prices like only Bulgaria can provide.

Obesity, The AIDS of America

fat chicks

I see fat people.

Everywhere I go in America they’re there, mountainous creatures waddling down the street armed with their XXL Big and Tall outfits, burritos in hand, with gargantuan partners and morbidly obese children drinking Super Big Gulps filled with sugar soda.  Sweating through their pits at the slightest effort and mouth breathing like some woolly mammoth out of Ice Age, these disgusting creatures are everywhere and it is only getting worse.  This is an epidemic that is to America what AIDS is to Africa.

Not convinced?  Look at this graphic on the CDC website.  When you watch the little slideshow map you can really get an idea of how much of an epidemic this is.  … [Read more]

Friday Haiku Corner with ¡Raul! Vol. 13

Haiku


Dude, get off your ass.
Make something of yourself.
No more bitching out.

Lets see… cucumber,
zucchini, eggplant, carrot.
She gets the idea.

I can’t believe it!
Bastards! Why don’t they love me?
I deserve it all!

What a bunch of shit.
The great neighborhood is lost.
Why, Amsterdam? Why?!?!