I hear so much complaining from girls these days about their boyfriends. It’s seems to them so hard to find a man who treats them they way that they want and wants to commit to them long term. “Guys these days”, they say, “don’t want to spend time with me, they don’t want to commit, they’re immature, they don’t show me sufficient respect, they drink too much, they don’t show me enough affection, and they only seems to like me for sex! What a bunch of jerks men are!”
Here’s some news for you girls: It’s all your fault!
I am always amazed when I observe how other people around me conduct their relationships and by how difficult girls make things for themselves and their boyfriends. It seems like many western girls are deliberately sabotaging their relationships with totally unacceptable pain-in-the-ass behavior towards their poor sucker boyfriends. Public temper tantrums, pathological complaining, nagging, irrational jealousy, constant demands, and a complete inability to compromise or accept their boyfriends for who they are the hallmarks of the modern western girlfriend. Then these girls complain that they can’t find a guy willing to commit to them.
Girls, you are making things hell for these poor guys. Somehow society has trained you to think that you’re supposed to always be an enormous pain in the ass. Why? Why do you have to be pissed off when your boyfriend wants to get together with his buddies and get drunk and watch football? Why do you have to throw public temper tantrums when you go out and make him have to apologize for nothing just to make you not ruin the night for everyone?
So the answer is: I don’t give a shit. The only thing I need to tell you is that this behavior is unacceptable and the reason that no guy wants to commit to you is that you’re an enormous pain in the ass. That’s why he wants to go out and get drunk, to escape you. That’s why they don’t respect you, because you don’t deserve it. Guys need sex, so they might keep seeing you because they’re lost without getting laid, but the rest of the time he really would rather be anywhere but with you.
Let’s examine some of the most common pain-in-the-ass behavior.
1. Irrational jealousy. So many girlfriends are irrationally jealous of their boyfriends. They limit his ability to go out with his friends, throw huge temper tantrums when they see him so much as talk to another girl and sometimes even forbid contact with specific people like ex-girlfriends. This is so annoying and very counterproductive. The reason why most guys have to “stay late at the office” is not because they’re banging the secretary, it’s because they know what bitchy behavior they’re going to have to put up with when they get home.
2. Emasculating behavior. A girlfriend told me a story about a friend of hers who had a birthday party at her boyfriend’s place that she attended. She hadn’t seen this guy for years because his girlfriend didn’t like him hanging out with other girls. The girlfriend in question had two little dogs she called “her babies” (note girls, don’t do this) and she monopolized the whole conversation all night talking about what sweet and perfect little doggies they were. But then she made it 1000 time worse by with the following conversation:
Bitchy Girlfriend: “Tell Ashley (dog no 1) what a sweet perfect baby she is.”
Poor Dude: ”Ashley, good dog.”
Bitchy Girlfriend: “No no, tell her she’s a sweet perfect snoogy boogy”
Poor Dude: “(sigh), Ashley, you’re a sweet perfect snoogy boogy”
Bitchy Girlfriend: “Now tell Chloe (other dog) what a cutey puppy-wuppy she is.”
Poor Dude: (trying to decide between murder and suicide) “Chloe, you’re a cutey doggy.”
Bitchy Girlfriend: “NO! Say she’s a CUTEY PUPPY-WUPPY!”
Poor Dude: (God just take me now) “Chloe, you’re a cutey puppy-wuppy.”
This was in front of all his friends at his birthday party. He has never lived this down, and his guy friends make fun of him constantly for it. Not to his face, of course, because they never see him as he’s not allowed to go out with them.
3. Demanding behavior: For some reason many women they think that they deserve to receive much more than they contribute to the relationship. A friend of mine from Dallas had a long term girlfriend who didn’t really do much, just a little freelance work around town. Her boyfriend found a job in upstate New York which was a great success for him and moved there. When he asked her if she wanted to come with him she said “I’m never moving with you anywhere until I see a ring on my finger.” So this poor bastard did it and “proposed” marriage to this chick (pretty fat, ugly and uncool, by the way). Then she told him that she expected for their wedding a brand new Jeep Grand Cherokee. Not just the Cherokee, the Grand Cherokee. And this was when he was making $35K a year. This poor dude could not afford it alone so he paid for part it and she got her parents to pay for the other part by complaining that he could not afford to take care of her. Did he get any wedding presents from her? Did she earn any money for their life together? Of course not.
4. Whining and complaining. Stop that extremely unattractive conduct immediately and start acting like a grown up. If you have something that’s bothering you, communicate it like an adult. If you have a complaint about your husband or boyfriend tell him in mature fashion in private.
5. Excessive crying. I understand that tragedies do happen, everybody gets upset sometimes and women are more emotional than men, however, crying all the time is not normal adult behavior. If you are crying excessively, like more than once a week, something is wrong. You need a therapist not a boyfriend. Crying does not make relationships fun.
6. Excessive drinking. We love drinking, drinking is lots of fun but only if you can keep yourself together. Know your limits. There is nothing worse than a completely drunk out of control girlfriend (or date) that is doing all kinds of inappropriate embarrassing things in front of other people usually while blacked out culminating in a nice crying session (see item number 5 above).
7. Getting out of shape. If you want a guy that’s in decent shape you better be too. Get to the gym and eat right.
8. Gold diggerism. You have a job, why not pay for a date once in a while? It doesn’t have to be all the time nor does it have to be extravagant or expensive. It truly is the thought that counts. Do some things to let us know you don’t just view us a walking wallet – we like that.
This is by no means a comprehensive list, however it’s a good starting point. Check out “Single Chick Dating Advice for the Ladies” to get the female perspective. Annie is much nicer about it than I am, that’s for sure.
Got it girls? You reap what you sow. Start being a nice, grown up, classy girl, and you might find your Mr. Right after all. Otherwise you have no one to blame but yourself.