Hey Girls! Want to know why you're still single?

BitchyOk girls, listen up.

I hear so much complaining from girls these days about their boyfriends.  It’s seems to them so hard to find a man who treats them they way that they want and wants to commit to them long term.  “Guys these days”, they say, “don’t want to spend time with me, they don’t want to commit, they’re immature, they don’t show me sufficient respect, they drink too much, they don’t show me enough affection, and they only seems to like me for sex!  What a bunch of jerks men are!”

Here’s some news for you girls:  It’s all your fault!

I am always amazed when I observe how other people around me conduct their relationships and by how difficult girls make things for themselves and their boyfriends.  It seems like many western girls are deliberately sabotaging their relationships with totally unacceptable pain-in-the-ass behavior towards their poor sucker boyfriends.  Public temper tantrums, pathological complaining, nagging, irrational jealousy, constant demands, and a complete inability to compromise or accept their boyfriends for who they are the hallmarks of the modern western girlfriend.  Then these girls complain that they can’t find a guy willing to commit to them.

Girls, you are making things hell for these poor guys.  Somehow society has trained you to think that you’re supposed to always be an enormous pain in the ass.  Why?  Why do you have to be pissed off when your boyfriend wants to get together with his buddies and get drunk and watch football?  Why do you have to throw public temper tantrums when you go out and make him have to apologize for nothing just to make you not ruin the night for everyone?

So the answer is: I don’t give a shit.  The only thing I need to tell you is that this behavior is unacceptable and the reason that no guy wants to commit to you is that you’re an enormous pain in the ass.  That’s why he wants to go out and get drunk, to escape you.  That’s why they don’t respect you, because you don’t deserve it.  Guys need sex, so they might keep seeing you because they’re lost without getting laid, but the rest of the time he really would rather be anywhere but with you.

Let’s examine some of the most common pain-in-the-ass behavior.

1. Irrational jealousy.  So many girlfriends are irrationally jealous of their boyfriends.  They limit his ability to go out with his friends, throw huge temper tantrums when they see him so much as talk to another girl and sometimes even forbid contact with specific people like ex-girlfriends.  This is so annoying and very counterproductive.  The reason why most guys have to “stay late at the office” is not because they’re banging the secretary, it’s because they know what bitchy behavior they’re going to have to put up with when they get home.

2.  Emasculating behavior. A girlfriend told me a story about a friend of hers who had a birthday party at her boyfriend’s place that she attended.  She hadn’t seen this guy for years because his girlfriend didn’t like him hanging out with other girls.  The girlfriend in question had two little dogs she called “her babies” (note girls, don’t do this) and she monopolized the whole conversation all night talking about what sweet and perfect little doggies they were.  But then she made it 1000 time worse by with the following conversation:

Bitchy Girlfriend: “Tell Ashley (dog no 1) what a sweet perfect baby she is.”

Poor Dude: ”Ashley, good dog.”

Bitchy Girlfriend: “No no, tell her she’s a sweet perfect snoogy boogy”

Poor Dude: “(sigh), Ashley, you’re a sweet perfect snoogy boogy”

Bitchy Girlfriend: “Now tell Chloe (other dog) what a cutey puppy-wuppy she is.”

Poor Dude: (trying to decide between murder and suicide) “Chloe, you’re a cutey doggy.”

Bitchy Girlfriend: “NO!  Say she’s a CUTEY PUPPY-WUPPY!”

Poor Dude: (God just take me now) “Chloe, you’re a cutey puppy-wuppy.”

This was in front of all his friends at his birthday party.  He has never lived this down, and his guy friends make fun of him constantly for it.  Not to his face, of course, because they never see him as he’s not allowed to go out with them.

3.  Demanding behavior:  For some reason many women they think that they deserve to receive much more than they contribute to the relationship.  A friend of mine from Dallas had a long term girlfriend who didn’t really do much, just a little freelance work around town.  Her boyfriend found a job in upstate New York which was a great success for him and moved there.  When he asked her if she wanted to come with him she said “I’m never moving with you anywhere until I see a ring on my finger.” So this poor bastard did it and “proposed” marriage to this chick (pretty fat, ugly and uncool, by the way).  Then she told him that she expected for their wedding a brand new Jeep Grand Cherokee.  Not just the Cherokee, the Grand Cherokee.  And this was when he was making $35K a year.  This poor dude could not afford it alone so he paid for part it and she got her parents to pay for the other part by complaining that he could not afford to take care of her.  Did he get any wedding presents from her?  Did she earn any money for their life together?  Of course not.

4. Whining and complaining. Stop that extremely unattractive conduct immediately and start acting like a grown up. If you have something that’s bothering you, communicate it like an adult. If you have a complaint about your husband or boyfriend tell him in mature fashion in private.

5. Excessive crying. I understand that tragedies do happen, everybody gets upset sometimes and women are more emotional than men, however, crying all the time is not normal adult behavior. If you are crying excessively, like more than once a week, something is wrong. You need a therapist not a boyfriend. Crying does not make relationships fun.

6. Excessive drinking. We love drinking, drinking is lots of fun but only if you can keep yourself together. Know your limits. There is nothing worse than a completely drunk out of control girlfriend (or date) that is doing all kinds of inappropriate embarrassing things in front of other people usually while blacked out culminating in a nice crying session (see item number 5 above).

7. Getting out of shape. If you want a guy that’s in decent shape you better be too. Get to the gym and eat right.

8. Gold diggerism.  You have a job, why not pay for a date once in a while?  It doesn’t have to be all the time nor does it have to be extravagant or expensive. It truly is the thought that counts. Do some things to let us know you don’t just view us a walking wallet – we like that.

This is by no means a comprehensive list, however it’s a good starting point. Check out “Single Chick Dating Advice for the Ladies” to get the female perspective.  Annie is much nicer about it than I am, that’s for sure.

Got it girls?  You reap what you sow.  Start being a nice, grown up, classy girl, and you might find your Mr. Right after all.  Otherwise you have no one to blame but yourself.

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12 comments to Hey Girls! Want to know why you’re still single?

  • steveJ

    The biggest warning sign I can think of in a woman is when you get the sense that she has assigned you the responsibility of managing her happiness.

    You know…you’re having a perfectly fine time and suddenly you spot it. The folded arms, the absent (or raging) emotions on her face, against your better judgement you ask the question…”What’s wrong” and that’s the begining of the end because not only are you dull/clumsy/inconsiderate/etc for commiting this error…now you’re pretending not to know what you did AND you knew all along that this error would piss her off so now you’re an inconsiderate coniving prick as well.

  • Manny

    As with anything the truth is in the middle. Standards and expectations have changed so quickly that human evolution can’t keep up. Most men can hardly be the head of the household and many women are trying to incorporate what they want/need with what modern society dictates.

    Excessive attachment to animals is a definite red flag!!! Substitution for children……

    They will never admit it but women want to feel certainty in their hearts/souls. This comes from a well-established man that can provide and has monetary and social standing. Sure she will still “bust his balls” but those are meaningful tests to gauge reactions. Getting drunk, being a fuck buddy or excessively flirtacious, texting/talking incessantly to show you have friends and a support network etc etc are simply not meaningful or useful. They are simply a cover.

  • The worst part is that the looks of the average western women are declining alongside their poor behavior. I would expect much of this behavior from 9′s and 10′s because they have grown up being handed everything so its come to be expected. But unfortunately you get these same behaviors with girls that have average looks at best and are fat. No wonder the smart guys out there learn tight game and pump and dumpt the hot ones and stay single. The sad part is that most guys still dont get it and just go along dating annoying princesses watching them get fatter by the day.

  • Gladys Mendez

    I love coming here just for entertainment only. I see many girls that are single and do not fall under your detailed guidelines. The thing that I am wondering is what kind of man you are to receive all the whining and faux-pas that you are such an expert at? Maybe you do lots of baby talk… As you said, “You reap what you sow”.

    • I certainly had my share of it when I was younger; in fact two of my long term girlfriends were like this to some extent. And I see it all the time when I go out, especially when these chicks get some drinks in them. You can see a chick flip out and ruin the whole night for everyone at pretty much every club every weekend.

      Thanks so much for being entertained, we aim to please!

  • Annie

    I just can’t stop laughing. The dog conversation is priceless.

  • Andy

    Great post, Charlie. The part about whining and complaining really caught my attention. It reminds me of when I took a road trip a couple of years ago and stopped to fill up at a gas station. So I’m the only one there and while I’m filling up another vehicle pulls up to fill up as well. It was a nice and cool night but not cold or freezing by the way. So out pops a skinny dude and his fat ass girlfriend and the first thing that she does is scoff and say “It’s so fucking cold!” in a tone that made it seem like the weather was all of his fault!

    She then proceeded to slander him about other things without any regard for the fact that other people (me) were around. I didn’t even bother to hear much of it as I had heard too much of it before from other couples in several different settings that once my car was full I was out of there. Gosh, a perfect trip of chirping birds, nice breeze and lovely waterfalls nearly ruined by some “petulant child’s” verbal diarrhea.

    Listen, girls. If you are too cold then get back in the car or put on a sweater. Don’t air out your dirty laundry in front of others. Settle it in private like IN THE CAR. You don’t see couples screwing in public and arguments are no exception. Grow up, ladies.

  • Valentino

    You have about five more hours. Post the apology here, as well as on her blog.

  • Guess I’ll go down to my bomb shelter now.

  • Valentino

    I’d seriously consider taking this blog down, and beyond that, apologizing to the person who runs myhusbandisannoying.com. In fact, I’ll give you until 6pm EDT to do so.

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