The Single Dude's Guide to Kiev, Ukraine

Maidan Nezalezhnosti Kiev

Kiev, Ukraine, a major city right in the heart of Eastern Europe. It’s certainly a place worth visiting at least once but I’m going to have to surprise even myself here and give it a mixed review. I’ve only visited Kiev twice, once recently and once many years ago. I was surprised to find the women less beautiful than I remembered and the city itself more beautiful. If you haven’t been to Eastern Europe yet you may not know that many Eastern Europe cities are huge concrete wastelands of architectural diarrhea courtesy of the communist era. There are exceptions though such as Prague, Riga, Zagreb and to some degree definitely Kiev.

Let’s talk about the other major … [Read more] would like to thank Piers Morgan

Piers Morgan a Phenomenal Douche

On behalf of Charlie, ¡Raul! and myself, I would like to offer our sincerest thanks to Piers Morgan for the free advertising he provided for on May 24th, 2011. Out of the goodness of his heart, Piers gave a nice shout out for to his 767,092 (and counting) Twitter followers. Apparently Piers is a big fan of, because he referred to Charlie as a “spiteful little twerp”, a statement he termed “British linguistic terrorism”. We’re not exactly sure what “British linguistic terrorism” is, but we think it might be more accurately characterized, at least in common American English, as British douchebag speak.

Piers Morgan Promoting

… [Read more]

Always be your Team Mate's biggest fan

The Team

Yo everyone, ¡Raul! here! I am back. Let me first apologize for my absence and let everyone know that midget tossing in a brothel while doing ecstasy is illegal in Bolivia. Just note it.

Anyway, back to the matter at hand. I was watching what was going down with this Bin Laden thing and the first thing I thought to myself was, “Man, these guys are total badasses, and they have each others backs, no matter what.” Helicopter crash? Whatever. Not sure if you are getting out alive? Oh, well. Knowing that every other dude there is your biggest fan are right by your side. Priceless. While I won’t equate going into a bar and slaying chicks with your … [Read more] Favorite Keyword Searches

monkey typewriter

Here at Single Dude Travel we really enjoy keeping an eye on our Google Analytics statistics, because among other things we really get a kick out of seeing where all our readers come from and how they find us. The other thing we find extremely entertaining are the keywords that people use to find us on Google. While Google may be the best search engine out there, our experience says their search algorithm could still use some tweaking! Here are our favorite search terms to date:

100 kg girls who have cock
acceptable cockblocking
accidentally fucked a lady boy
all the popular people are douchebags
all women assholes
Read more]

Wow, What a Bitch!


When I woke up today I had an email from Boris with a link to this sweet blog.  Check it out, I think it can be a very useful tool for us:

It’s really good to know there’s a blog dedicated to some bitchy wife and her retarded complaints about her husband leaving the toilet seat up, not changing the baby’s diaper quickly enough and opening new containers of hair gel before finishing the old ones.  I also really enjoy the side-slappingly funny entertainment like, “Where did my husband leave his dirty socks today?” and “guess how much I hate my husband’s fashion sense?”

Let me quote some passages from this modern day Emily Dickinson.

My daughter has had a cold lately which … [Read more]

I Love Cougars!


A Study of Cougarism – The High Mileage Luxury Car

In today’s age of stupid young American girls it’s often very difficult to find suitable young, female American companionship.  This is why I love cougars.  They offer a very attractive alternative to young chicks and their hangups about sex and inflated feeling of self worth.  These days world cougarism is on the rise, and this is a very good thing for single dudes.

So there is always debate on the issue of what exactly is a cougar.  I offer the Single Dude Travel definition:

Cougar – An attractive single older woman with her own money and a strong sex drive.

Now why cougars?  There are lots of good … [Read more]

Osama and Obama, or The Politics of Getting Bush


So after the US Navy Seal group bust in and jacked Osama Bin Laden the other week, guns blazing and taking no prisoners, there were many different reactions to the news.  All over the US there were scenes of fat drunk Americans partying and waving American flags, burning pictures of the dead dude, and of course the refrain:

“U-S-A! U-S-A!!”

Others were busy “getting involved” and “making a difference” by posting whiny Facebook status updates along the lines of, “I don’t think anyone should celebrate the death of another human being.”, etc.  Others speculated that killing the guy while he was unarmed and probably sitting on the shitter would just martyr the guy and help with terrorist recruiting.  … [Read more]

The Single Dude's Guide to Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia

Petronas Towers

Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, known locally simply as “KL”, is a pretty strange place to think of for single dude travel. It’s definitely a weird place. It’s Asia, it’s infernally hot and humid all the time, it’s Muslim, and the people here are from a totally different part of the gene pool. If you come here expecting business as usual you’ll be in for a rude awakening, but if you just go with the flow it’s possible to have a lot of fun here.

First thing you need to keep in mind in KL is that Malaysia is a Muslim country. That is the source of a lot of the cultural issues and drawbacks of the place. 70% of the Malaysian … [Read more]

A Beginner's Guide to the Women of Miami

Models on the Beach

Let me say right now that this attempt to explain Miami will be in no way comprehensive. It would take a team of experts to do justice to the penile playground that is the greater Miami Fort Lauderdale area. I’m simply flattered that Charlie asked me to take a crack at it. This is the first of what I hope will be many entries from other contributors so that Single Dude Travel’s readership can get a taste of what’s going on down there.

So, what is this Miami thing made of? The first ingredient is money. Crazy boatloads of it, much of it arriving in crazy expensive boats and planes. The next ingredient is drugs. Crazy boatloads of … [Read more]

Single Chick Dating Advice for the Ladies

Insane Chick

For the ladies: logical things you SHOULD already know about dating: If you’ve made a habit of being irrational, it’s a problem. Not because it doesn’t “work,” although it doesn’t, but because it’s making you unhappy. So, please, just give this a shot.

Disclaimer: This is not a list of things you should do to get a guy. This is a list of things you should do in order to be content with your love life and stop being a pain in everyone else’s ass.

1. Don’t be competitive with other women.

There will always be other women who are more beautiful and charming you. When you hate on them it says a lot more about you … [Read more]