Guest Post: Stewardesses, the real airline frequent flyer perk!

Hot StewardessStewardesses are God’s gift to traveling dudes. They take the hard work and worry out of finding sex and help you enjoy your trip knowing you can’t possibly shock them because whatever you try to get them to do, they have already done it many times before with someone else.

First order of business, they ARE called stewardesses, not flight-attendants. If you call her a flight-attendant then you are just like all the other PC academia house-broken NPR listening guys out there and she will already think you are groveling. If she corrects you, correct HER and say you are an old fashioned guy and repeat that they are stewardesses. This interchange will trigger her deeply screwed-up daddy issues and she will want you to continue to disrespect her in other ways later. You already know these girls, BTW. They are basically just strippers except they aren’t highly paid but love to travel so they can have NSA sex often and meet their future ex-husband. That is their business plan in a nutshell. Remember, they are a personality type as are lawyers, cheerleaders, model/actress wannabes, etc. Pretty much consistent regardless of the country they come from.

Where to find these so-called “stewardesses”:

The Airlines house these women for an FAA minimum of 2 nights after a long haul flight in decent major hotels. The dirty secret of major hotel chains is that they sell their extra rooms for cheap in bulk to airlines for the stewardesses and pilots. Truth be told, if you are in NYC, LA, Chicago or major hubs in Europe, you can find out which hotels house the literally thousands of stewardesses each night. You can spot them in the hotel lobbies going out in groups or just hanging at the bars in and around the hotel. It is a cliche that they often bang pilots but many of them don’t want to because of the way word gets around a company. But in the big city, the game is on for you, my friend. If you can figure out where these international airlines house all these flying spermbanks, you will have your hands full for years. (hint: your gay wingman knows)

They tend to love to drink and go out because that’s the whole reason they wanted to work for the airlines in the first place. Stewardesses just wanna have fun. Their reasoning is like the “what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas” logic. Wherever they fly, they are in Vegas. Within the USA, it’s different. There is a fast turn around between flights and they are instead housed at those crappy cardboard airport hotels. They hate them more than you do so when you offer to pick them up and take them out for a drink they are usually thrilled that they won’t spend their evening watching “Friends” reruns on TV.

An important question is where they are “based”. Some just fly a route that gets them to home “base” 4 nights a week, which is still good. A stewardess is still a stewardess no matter where she lives. They also get to fly for free, so if you find one you like enough to see again, she can very easily fly out to see you wherever on any airline (all the carriers have employee reciprocity).

They even get free companion tickets and can whisk you off to Rome for a wild getaway in her hotel room. This is not theory, I know this first hand. If you really impress them, they will give you free airline ticket vouchers as a way of saying “thank you for riding.”

So, if on your flight a stewardess catches your eye, don’t hit on her when she’s bringing you food, collecting barf bags, doing her job. Wait til you are at cruising altitude, the lights are out and everybody is watching “Three Men and a Baby.” Go to the back of the plane and start asking her for water and make lots of small talk. Not full court press, just hey, I’m going to Milano, what’s new in Milano? It’s pretty easy to agree to meet up. Again, that is the very reason they got in to their line of business. There is no other reason, actually.

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6 comments to Stewardesses, the real airline frequent flyer perk!

  • sparky's nemesis

    I have loathed ‘stews’ for decades. Their main preoccupation is to do sexytimes, particularly with someone else’s husband! No, no respect for these bunnies. Not ever! Not even when they turn on the eternally perky act:(((

  • Love it, thanks guys. M, please guestwrite for us.

  • El Matador

    Well, I didn’t say you don’t have to be picky! There’s talent in there somewhere through the forrest of old battle-axes working for American carriers.
    The foreign carriers have it all figured out. No tenure, fresh new crops of young women coming and going all the time.
    They don’t let any of them become “lifers”.
    The Asian and Arab companies do have massive talent onboard. This is why it’s good to figure out where they hang during the layovers.
    So many beauties with idle time. I was once stranded at a marginal airport hotel in Rome for a night and came upon a whole room full of Sri Lankan stewardesses. I found them because they were singing traditional songs while using their hard plastic luggage as drums, making quite a racket in the night!
    Ah yes, the free instant upgrade. If anyone has ideas how to swing those, please post your bone-fide experiences on this site.
    Hotel upgrades too.

  • M

    Mmmm…sorry guys. Not seeing what you are in today’s FAs (or “stews”, if you want to be retro). At least not American ones anyway. Most are just biding their time before the social security kicks-in or until the airline puts them on disability because their ass has grown too wide to fit down the aisle. I think Delta has some really ancient ones still flying. They probably were around way back in the day serving pretzels, overpriced drinks and crappy ‘tudes to Wiley Post.

    Now if you’re talking foreign carriers than I’m with you. Most non-US airlines can (and do) hire based on age and looks. Ever wonder why all Gulf Air FAs are hot Irish lasses? Because the rich Arabs dig ‘em! Also, you can’t go wrong with Cathy Pacific, Singapore Airlines or Thai Air.

    Although I do have a tip for any guy who does meet up with a international flight crew in a hotel bar. They’re easy to recognize because it will be a group, with two or three older guys (the pilots), one or two gay male FAs and three or four 30-ish women. Contrary to popular belief, aircrew do not work as a group. They bid lines each month so it is not unusual that they all have just meet for that flight. You can use that to your advantage by introducing yourself to the group or just asking them who they fly for and where they are from. They’re all strangers to each other so they would happily welcome another traveler. Also the women on the crew definitely do not want to hang out with the pilots(I know a lot of airline pilots. They’re cheap and boring), so you’ll be a welcome addition to the mix!

    I did this on one trip and it paid off. I got an upgrade to business class on the return leg because I had dinner with a couple of the stews and bought a few drinks. It’s was almost as good as getting laid, and with a lot less effort involved!

    Happy flying!
    M

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