Boris' Basic Spare Tire Disposal Plan

We here at Single Dude Travel feel that your health is of utmost importance, and being in good shape is a great way to feel good, separate yourself from the rest of the fat stupid Westerner tourists when you travel, meet more and better girls, and to live a longer, better, happier and more fulfilling life. But what if you picked up a little spare tire somewhere a long the way? Perhaps it was one too many beers in Germany, too many tamales in Mexico or even one too many pulneni chushki on your latest romp through the Balkans.

Whatever the case, now is the time.  You’ve booked your next trip and you know you’ll have to take your shirt off and and talk to beautiful Bulgarian girls on Sunny Beach, so it’s time to get in shape, and fast.  It’s really not that tough if you’re serious about it.  The key is to combine the right diet with exercise.  You don’t need to kill yourself in the gym, but you need to be committed to the plan for it to succeed.

DO:

1.) Eat only meat, vegetables, eggs, beans, legumes and nuts (sparingly) 6 days per week.
2.) Avoid alcohol 6 days per week (if you really need it you can have one glass of dry red wine per day).
3.) Do a full body weight training routine every 3 to 4 days followed by 30 minutes of cardio.
4.) Take measurements of your body with a tape measure and use this rather than the scale to track your progress.
5.) Take a shirtless photo every week.
6.) Find a “cheer leader”.*
7.) Take one day off per week and do whatever the fuck you want, eat pizza, get drunk, etc.
8.) Be consistent.

DON’T:

1.) Drink alcohol 6 days per week.
2.) Eat bread, grains, cereal, potatoes, rice or any other simple carbohydrates that are or can be white.
3.) Make excuses for yourself or bend the rules.
4.) Give up.
5.) Delay in getting started, if you start now you can have a beach body by this summer.
6.) Pay too much attention to the scale, as muscle weighs much more than fat.

It’s really just that simple. If you want a more detailed description of what I’m getting at see two of Tim Ferris’ blog articles:

1.) From Geek to Freak: How I Gained 34 lbs. of Muscle in 4 Weeks
2.) How to Lose 20 lbs. of Fat in 30 Days… Without Doing Any Exercise

Keep in mind that if you have a spare tire, lose the fat first, then worry about bulking up. Follow the diet I outlined above but still do the workouts outlined in “From Geek to Freak: How I Gained 34 lbs. of Muscle in 4 Weeks,” you won’t bulk up a ton but you will turbo charge your weight loss.  After your spare tire is gone you can switch to a high protein weight gain diet.  I highly recommend Tim’s book, The Four Hour Body, however you don’t need it if you don’t want to drop the coin on it.   What I’ve told you above is more than enough to lose 20 or 30 lbs and have a “beach body” in time for this coming summer.

Now let’s talk about why you should this.  Can you pickup chicks in other countries even if you’re a fat slob?  Yes you can if you have the right attitude and tight game but it’s going to be a lot harder.  The number one component of solid game is confidence.  The simple fact is that the better you look, the better you’re going to feel about yourself and the more confidence you will have.  Confidence is hot, ask any girl, even a dumb American one can probably tell you that.  Besides just looks and subjective feelings you will objectively have more energy and stamina and you’ll be better in bed.  Like almost everything we discuss here it’s not just about the girls, it’s about life.  Healthy, in shape people tend to be happier and more successful in all areas of life.  So stop sitting on your fat ass playing Xbox and eating Twinkies.  Get up and take step number one.  There are beautiful Eastern European super models that can’t wait to meet you.

*When I say get a cheer leader I mean choose a good friend that will monitor your progress, keep you on track and celebrate each little gain you make with you whether you lost 2 inches off your stomach, lost 2 kilos of fat or increased your strength by 25% in the last two weeks.  It provides extra motivation and makes it more difficult to give up when you know someone is looking over your shoulder.

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8 comments to Boris’ Basic Spare Tire Disposal Plan

  • drew

    What foolishness is this being parroted by various posters? One of the biggest mistakes people make is not consuming enough fat – more specifically, the right kinds of fats. Adequate fat intake is absolutely vital to glandular, brain, and hormonal functioning. Yes, that includes your testosterone, and thus libido & fat-burning. Your brain is literally made of fatty cholesterol & lipids. You should be eating raw or lightly roasted, unsalted nuts. You should be consuming cold-pressed extra-virgin olive oil (consume it at room-temp, not cooked). You should be consuming raw, organic unrefined coconut oil (you can straight-up eat it out of the jar, and is the best oil to cook with). Cold-pressed organic hemp oil and hemp seed are absolute super-foods, as are avocados. Incidentally, good oils are tremendous in maintaining skin health. I consider not eating meat to be antithetical to nature’s design. Look at your teeth. They are perfectly adapted for an omnivorous diet. Plant & legume proteins don’t have complete amino-acid profiles, which must be compensated for by eating complementary protein sources (you should still eat good beans, red kidney beans are very good for you, as are black beans). All-natural chicken, beef, and fish (complete proteins) should be consumed at least a couple/few times per week. Eat as many apples, bananas, and carrots as you can get your hands on. You need to consume real salts every day; and I don’t mean the nutrient-leached table salt you’re probably used to. Himalayan Pink Salt is one of nature’s perfect substances for total health, as it contains upwards of 80 vital minerals that your body NEEDS; and of course, a gallon or two of the cleanest water you can get. A glass of red wine an hour or two before bed is a good way to cap the day; and don’t eat heavy right before bed – it will totally fuck with both your digestive and circadian processes. Cayenne Pepper: consume it. Raw Honey: superfood. Raw, organic apple cider vinegar with the ‘mother’ enzyme: a couple tablespoons per day with water – a natural liver-cleanser, and thus better waste disposal and more efficient weight/fat cutter.

  • “lose the fat first, then worry about bulking up.” Pure truth. I was a total fat kid in high school, I lost mad weight my junior/senior year following a diet admittedly extremely different than this, but irrespective I lost the weight.

    I work out extremely sparingly. As in, if other guys knew the extent of my workouts they would punch me in the face. Because my abs look great, when I flex my arms girls soak their panties, and I can run the track while smoking my way through a pack of menthols. I keep a remarkably slim build, but a very muscular look because I lost a lot of weight, stayed thin, and then started to work out (with a severe emphasis on repetitions and no emphasis on body building).

  • Denzel Seinfeld

    good site, lame post. i’m sure you mean well, but i’m vegan and drink beer 7 days a week – guess what? i have a flat six pack stomach and am overall in better shape than 90% of the college-age hipsters and fratholes that populate this city. meat is shit in general, but if you insist on eating it for protein at least get the organic stuff.

  • Nummm

    Dood McMan is a masterful troll

  • Dood McMan

    Scanned this extremely UNhealthy diet plan. U R killing people’s livers with this krap:

    “Eat only meat, vegetables, eggs, beans, legumes and nuts (sparingly) 6 days per week.”

    The exact OPPOSITE of good advice. If U eliminate (or nearly eliminate) meat, & walk a lot, & do a lot, weight will drop & U will get a sleek face. 4 the next level of hotness, do lots of twisty & tummy/back exercise 2 burn the fat that is INSIDE the muscles ’round the middle.

    Also of course, eliminate all fat & oil from your diet (oil is a type of fat). This will also enhance your skin =) Cures acne 4 1 (oh, but the zillions of commercials hawking 10 billion different ‘cures’ never tell U this do they? No profit in the TRUTH!)

    • Dood McMan

      BTW: Beans R also toxic. U don’t need them. In fact, some R so bad they R illegal 2 sell uncooked, such as red kidney beans. Parsley is so krap can even cause spontaneous abortion. Read up on NATURAL poisons 2! Just ‘cuz people eat it doesn’t mean it’s safe!

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